welshdragon Posted November 13, 2004 Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 i guess it started last night. I was watching my new nightwish live dvd and I was really getting into it - even got up and danced to it which i aint done anything like tht in ages - then the next thing i know i am down depressed and suicidal for no apparent reason. My mood has been going up and down without warning or reason ever since. My moods have been so eratic. One min i'm stable, next am in tears, next am so angry and wanna beat the hell out of whatever i can get my hands on, then I'm horny as hell. What's happening to me? Toni xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted November 13, 2004 Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 Toni... I don't know what's happening to you, well, except it sounds very bpd, the constant mood shifts. Maybe there was something in the dvd that triggered you? Or maybe you just crashed for nothing. I struggle to find whys and wherefores...sometimes it just happens and you never know why. But a lot of the time you can pin it on something. Has this happened to you before? Do you have a therapist you can talk it over with? Maybe you are on meds that are not helping? Please keep posting about this - you are not on your own. Thinking of you and be safe XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted November 13, 2004 Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 it sounds to me like your enjoyment and dancing took you by surprise---"hey, this isn't me." but then "who am i anyway? i don't know. help." ????????? sometimes with me, after I've been very excited and energised, I start to feel low. with me its because i've never really learnt that excitement is ok, that i can have it and not annoy anyone. its something i'm learning to do, to contain my life energy and vitality that's how it is for me anyway. lorna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted November 13, 2004 Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 Toni, I could have written what both Lorna and Claire have posted. Both make sense. Do you have a therapist, and are you taking meds? I can tell you, that when I am shifting, my moods are just like that. Very fast. Sometimes I am triggered, sometimes it is for no reason what so ever. When it becomes too frightening, or just too much to handle, I call my therapist. Just to talk over the phone. She understands me and grounds me. Is this an option for you? Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshdragon Posted November 13, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 Thanx Lorna and Claire I cant think of anything in the dvd triggering me I'm into music in a big way so i do really enjoy it but my paranoia has been really bad lately. It is coming up to the 1st anniversary of my boyfriend's death (19th Nov), then I've got the anniversary of the funeral which will also b my 22nd birthday (25th) so I've got some had times on the way. I can be quite emotional but i have never experienced going up and down so fast like a proverbial yoyo. I am not on any meds since i had a reaction to one i was on and they took me off them back in August and haven't been on any since. I did however visit the docs on friday and she is urgently referring me back to my local mental health team so we'll c where it goes from there. Toni xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshdragon Posted November 13, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 Thanx Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted November 13, 2004 Report Share Posted November 13, 2004 Toni, I am really glad to know you will be getting help soon. You are facing a very difficult day soon. Do you have a solid support system to help you through this? I am very sorry for your loss. ((((Toni)))) We all have really bad times, good times, and times in between. We will be here for you during all of them. Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshdragon Posted November 14, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 14, 2004 Thanx (((((((((((((Amy))))))))))))))))))))) I live on my own and my only guarenteed ppl contact is with my carers tht come in every morning to get me up (i'm disabled) and I dont really like talking about how i feel around my family coz my dad dont understand depression and doesn't even know tht i sh (if he did he would hit the roof). The reason I dont talk 2 my mum is coz she's a recovering alcoholic and sufferes from depression too and i guess i'm protective of her coz i know how far she's come ova the years and how hard she's worked to get there tht i wouldn't want to say or do somethin tht would destroy all her good work. Toni xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted November 14, 2004 Report Share Posted November 14, 2004 Toni, I won't try to talk you into talking to your mom. You have us to talk to. But you can get comfort from her. Maybe just by spending time with her. I'm a stay at home mom, so I check in daily. I may not post daily, but always checking in. I find alot of comfort in forums, I don't have friends in the real world (I used to), I kind of closed myself off. I think you will find comfort too. You take care, okay? You have alot going on, don't hold it in, vent here. It helps so much. Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted November 14, 2004 Report Share Posted November 14, 2004 (((Toni)))) If u want to ever pm me do. I am here everyday (several times a day most days) I have just been through a family death, then annivesary of death and funeral so i know how hard it is. I made it through and so will u. People here are very supportive. Post as much as u want and i hope it helps. If u ever want to talk one to one to a volunteer use live support. Take care Tory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.