Structure

[pip]

...I don't really have any.

I know it is a must for recovery.

I try and then I fall away...............

I do have some structure...

-The dogs wake me up

-I put them outside

-goto the loo and clean my teeth

-I feed them brekfast

-put them back out

-I go out and clean the poo

Then ????????????????????????

I tend to go back to bed

I get stuck after my good start.

HELP Please

Pip

x

[abbynormal]

Make one change at a time... like every week add one more structure.. like.... exercise instead of going back to bed......

[pip]

Hmmmmmm

Sounds easy?

[pip]

I NEED STRUCTURE

HELP

[Betsy]

you really dont need our help pip.

you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself. you just really dont want to.

[pip]

Betsy,

That is cruel (said nicely)

I do need help.

I have been working on structuring my day

for what seems like forever - and I always get stuck.

Then I get lost.

Pip

x

[samsung]

well set up a routine

and ad one interesting thing a day like abby said.

and do it.

only you can create structure

[pip]

Euck

- but thanks Rachel

[samsung]

:D

[pip]

I suppose I will get there

[samsung]

i know you will. just put your mind to it and go for it

nothing stopping you and you got nothing to loose innit??! :D

[pip]

I am missing the motivation

[samsung]

let bets be your motivation.

she is gonna tap your hands if you dont do it!! :P

[pip]

Just read this Rachel.

I am now up

(incase Betsy is around!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Still wanna be in bed

waiting for carer...........

[Miko]

To be my usual plodding earnest self - I see you do have structure, over a number of days - you do potty potting for a few, then have several restful ones, then get busy with something else. Do you have enough of the something elses? Is there a market for your pots?

On top of the daily one with the dogs you mentioned.

Look at it with a glass more than half full viewpoint, you already have several overlapping structures, you can always build more onto that, if you need to.

As for motivation I have noticed mention of Betsy always does the trick!

[pip]

Thanks Miko

Maybe my structure is just different

Maybe I worry too much

pip

x

[Betsy]

if you are up and waiting for your carer (not really sure what a carer is but i think in one post you said you were going to get the carer to clean your kitchen) why not do the job you would have given the carer?

seems you know what needs to be down.

no you are one smart lady and probably know that one of the skills, coping mechanisms in dbt is opposite action. you dont want to do anything so you make a list of things to do and do them.

i think you can move from under the duvet and feel abit of smug self satisfaction... i know you can do it!!!!

bets

[pip]

Betsy,

The other day I didn't want to do something

and I remembered you saying to do the opposite

of what you wanted

So I did.

Real very astutely pointed out that I cancel carers when I am ill

- when I need them most.

I am trying to do the right thing

- always trying

but not quite getting there.

I do try!

pip

x

[Betsy]

well then lets hear some successes. if you are trying you are bound to have some. i 'd like to know what they are.

i think i said .. maybe real did too... that you cancel carers when you need them most. whoever said it i agree and i think it is a very self dystructive thing to do.

]

no one gets there all at once pip... so lets hear some of your steps in the right direction.

i think sometimes we get afraid of admitting our successes because we think all our suport will be taken away (ok darn it you caught me... that is me.. but maybe it is you too). we aren't going to go away if you improve pip.. we will still care and still be here.

bets

[pip]

OK

Success No One

- On Monday I felt really bad and was going to have to get the bus (nightmare) to meet Eva. I was filled with anxiety about the bus etc, but went and had a nice day.

Success No Two

- Friday wanted to cancel carer, but didn't, and in the end I felt better for seeing her.

Success No Three

-Last week cancelled CPN cos felt so bad. Managed to uncancel her and cried the whole time she was here

Do they count?

I hope so

pip

x

[Betsy]

sure do... good for you!!!!!

now you know what i am going to say... lets hear more as they happen!

bets

i know i am a hard taskmaster but i am trying to whip you into shape so you can become a mod!

[pip]

Thanks Betsy

I don't want to be a mod

I want to run the Scottish Branch

LOL

Pip

x

[realscape]

Hi Pip

I don't have any structure or motivation either. I feel oppressed by structure everytime I have attempted to impose some upon myself and god help anyone who tries to force it on me. I literally thought my psych was joking when he tried to put me in an 08:45 group. I was in disbelief and shock.

I still don't have much structure but it got so at one point that I had to cut chunks out of my hair cos I'd stopped getting up and stopped brushing my hair. Going to get food for the cat from the shop underneath my flat was a mission. My houseplants were dying in front of my eyes and I couldn't be arsed to water them. I got hundreds of pounds bank charges because I couldn't be bothered to transfer money from one account to the other to pay bills. I had to put my washing up in a bathful of bleach because it went mouldy. If someone asked me to try and set a small goal for myself, I thought they were being outrageously unreasonable.

I think you probably have more structure in your life than you realise. For example, you feed and walk your dogs (I hope!). You see your carer regularly. You log on this site and write to us all how you feel. You must have some semblance of order of paying bills etc (I hope?). And just lately you have been creatively expressing yourself. These are all small things but they are still things and they count as routines and order and structure. More things will grow out of them probably. I know how hard it is trying to get life back together but keep trying, you're doing great.

[pip]

Thanks Real,

Yes, I pay my bills on a Thursday

I get my dogfood delivered

I walk the dogs

I am training Pigrim

I load the dishwasher - can take awhile thou

I do washings - mainly towels and PJs

I knit

I speak to my CPN most days

I collect my meds weekly

I suppose I do more than I realise

Yaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!

Thanks (again)

pip

x