welshdragon Posted November 14, 2004 Report Share Posted November 14, 2004 Well I've done it - retreated back within my head and my own warped fantasy. I no longer no wats real so if this sounds deranged please forgive me. For weeks now i have been living this fantasy tht i am going out with Ville Valo - lead singer of HIM - and I am pregnant with his child but here's the warped part of it. We are just getting round to telling our parents bout the bubba and i find out my dad's about to die of cancer - why would tht be in my fantasy? This method of escapism has been a coping mechanism for as long as I remember and I'm know scared tht I am actually doing myself more harm than good. The line between fantasy & reality is becoming more and more blurred - just today I went back to my bed as I was still awake at 5.30am and i had to question whether certain things happened to me or whether they were dreams and I still dont know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted November 15, 2004 Report Share Posted November 15, 2004 i hear how frightenened you are. what are your feelings about your father? love, lorna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted November 15, 2004 Report Share Posted November 15, 2004 Have you got a therapist and have you talked about this with them? HUGSXX Claire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshdragon Posted November 15, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2004 Thanx Lorna and Claire My dad and I are very close but try as he might he dont understand the depressionand i guess part of me hates him for not understanding - but not enough to want him dead. i dont have a therapist I have however went back to docs on friday and she is urgently referring me back to my local mental health team - so all i have left to to to is ride out the storm and hope i can last til i get help. Toni xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted November 15, 2004 Report Share Posted November 15, 2004 welshdragon... Hope you find the help you need with your mental health team. Take care and keep posting about this if you think you need to ok? Claire XX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted November 15, 2004 Report Share Posted November 15, 2004 I use going into my head as a method as escapism as well, i "create" scenes and stories in my head, im only in the bad stuff in the good stuff i just dont exist. its weird because everything has to be just so and perfect and i get really angry sometimes when my brain sabotages my stories like for example i will imagine myself with a huge nose or i stick to everything when this happens i have to stop because it makes me crazy. its my way of controlling what things, i control the hurt. flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted November 16, 2004 Report Share Posted November 16, 2004 I hope you do find help, Im glad the Dr is reffering u to the mental ehalth team, this would be the best advice that i can give to talk to them ASAP. ALso if need be talk to your Dr while you wait for the mental health workers if their is a wait. As thier is no need for u to feel alone, the Dr can help in the mean time well done for seeking support Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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