ktodee_27 Posted November 19, 2004 Report Share Posted November 19, 2004 Hey everyone, I'm new to this site. I am a 25/f/USA who has been diagnosed with bpd since 1999. I'm looking for some support and friendship here. I have passed the si part of the disorder and am now left with the mind and emotional aspect of it since 2002. I've been through hospitalizations, my last one being in June of 2000. It's been hard on me the last few months with the depressions, dissociation, flashbacks, scared around people, paranoia that people will leave me or think things about me which they really don't after talking to them but getting the thought out of my head is hard, and I've had a few angry outbursts which I feel guilty and ashamed about. Mostly I've been good about keeping it in, but not as great as I had been doing earlier. I am on disability and am in a community based apartment program for the mentally ill. I've been out of the group homes since the middle of 2002. I'm looking for a job to get out of my head during the day since I have too much free time and courageously trying to go into the workforce once again. I am also a recovering drug addict and in recovery. I'm currently using grounding techniques for my bpd and by December, I should be working out of a book and a workbook which is about a lady who recovered from borderline. (I can't think of her name right now) It's really been a week, in fact one of the iest weeks I've had not knowing the person I am the one minute and reclaiming myself the next minute. It's frustrating but I'm trying to hang tight. There's been lots of tears too, but I'll make it. I wonder..........is anyone else on disability and in a community living apartment program for the mentally ill? Or a group home? I feel really alone right now and down. Later............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudyfox Posted November 19, 2004 Report Share Posted November 19, 2004 No need to feel alone now you've found us. Welcome - I hope you like it here. There's lots of support and people who understand. I've only just asked for help so don't have an official diagnosis yet, but seem to have definite bpd traits. I'm not on disability, but I am at home with my children so not working. Well done for getting over the si. Hope to see you around the site. Cloudy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted November 19, 2004 Report Share Posted November 19, 2004 Sorry to hear you are feeling alone and have had a tough week, but congratulations on getting over si...that's some achievement! and you should be really proud of yourself I reckon. Er, this site is usually way busier than it is right now...hopefully it'll gee up soon. I hope you find the site helpful - you will certainly find a lot of people here you can relate to. I am not on any disabilty / community living programme but good for you if you can swing it, although obviously as a permanent option that may be less appealing. Sounds good to be able to take the break you need to get over stuff tho - a lot of us here are struggling to hold jobs to get by, and it's hard. Good luck getting back into work - it is immensely good for symptoms if you can manage it. I miss work, but hopefully it wont be long before i'm back at it. And then i'll wish I was unemployed again! HA! Can't win... Keep posting..tell us what's on yer mind. And welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted November 19, 2004 Report Share Posted November 19, 2004 ktodee25, I'm glad you are here, because you don't have to be lonely here. I agree that you are courageous, and am interested in the book you spoke of. You have been through a lot, are working on a lot, and have plans. It will be good to know you. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 BIG WELCOME TO THE SITE glad that you found us, like everyone has said, there's no need to feel lonely here, we're all here to support you, make friends, and get thru this together. well done for stopping the si see you around, take care. jo xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 Welcome to the site... always good to have another USA'er here because the brits out number us (but actually they are quite nice.. don't tell them i said so tho) We way out number the Aussies but they are gaining. Well enough joking around... WELCOME.. and glad you found us! bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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