MrRoboto Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 I will spare the long introduction. I am just checking this site out but not sure if I will stay. I have reached a low point in my life. I have managed to piss a lot of people off in my life lately and have alienated myself, etc. I don't know why this happens to me but maybe they are right. everything maybe is all my fault. I really don't know what is wrong with me yet. I am just really depressed and alone right now. Is it possible for guys to have this? It seems that it is mostly women that get it if I am not mistaken? Anyway, that is all for now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jo Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 Welcome to the site glad you found us, hope that you will stay. we're all here for you, you're not alone. its not your fault, things happen to anyone. i know for me that before i came here i felt really alone, and the friends and support here has helped more than anything else, i hope the same happens for you. keep on posting! take care, jo xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cloudyfox Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 Welcome to the site. Hope you like it here and decide to stay. Cloudy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 Mr R Yes it is mostly women here but there are a few guys too and they are great. Women and men get bpd so yes you can have it, it's just that as you say, more women get it than men. You will find lots of support here, as kittykat said, so stick around and give it a go...if you wanna. I'd like you to stay! And yeah... maybe some of it is your fault, but then again, lots of it probly isn't your fault. We all make mistakes, it is how we deal with them and move on and hopefully to the point where we don't make the same ones, that matters most. Welcome to the site, Claire Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted November 20, 2004 Report Share Posted November 20, 2004 Glad you found the site and i guarantee you are not alone now. We are all here for you. Welcome. bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted November 21, 2004 Report Share Posted November 21, 2004 welcome, its a cool place to be i hope you decide to stay. flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunset Posted November 21, 2004 Report Share Posted November 21, 2004 Welcome. You will get lots of support here. Look forward to hearing from you. J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted November 21, 2004 Report Share Posted November 21, 2004 It would be interesting to hear from more guys. We have Joshua's point of view, though only occasionally. What has your experience been like? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRoboto Posted November 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2004 hmmm..I feel kinda strange posting here when I am the only guy. I feel like I am intruding or something. I am not sure this is the place where I belong, and although I don't always feel exactly wonderful about my life and the way things are going, I have been taught as a guy to suck it all in and deal with it and not rant about how depressed I am and all that. Even so, I still have done it occasionally and feel really stupid later. In real life I am an upbeat, funny guy and you could never tell what is going on inside of me because I am so good at hiding it, being a"man" and all. I am well educated, professional (although I should be doing a lot better and I am frustrated with my career, I keep changing my mind about what I want to do and be and have had three different careers since I graduated). Deep down I have this emptiness that I have not been able to fill and have a satisfying life, and I am giving up hope that I ever will. I am even fairly good with the ladies when I am in a good mood and feel like even bothering. I can be the most romantic, passionate guy a woman has ever met. It is only when someone gets close to me that they find out how messed up I am, and I feel that I have nothing to offer anyone in a long term relationship. I don't think I will ever find someone who will put up with me until I at least fix myself some more. I am not even on speaking terms with my ex and we broke up at the end of the summer. I got pissed that she was leaving me and refuse to talk to her, and she does not want to talk to me either. My feelings for her flunctuate all the time, from love to anger to hate to I don't care at all about that %^# . She was also very disrespectul and abusive to me. I got back at her by sleeping with three different women since, but I still feel empty, and I am afraid to get attached because I don't want to get hurt like that again. In fact I have always felt the need to be with someone and feel really lonely If I am not, but I have been fighting that lately and live alone to prove to myself that I don't need a woman to make me happy. I will never let another woman control my life again. It is really tough sometimes though. I am spending Thanksgiving with some friends at least. I don't go home Thanksgiving because I live aboput 1000km away and my parents always fight for some reason and it does not bring back pleasant memories. Kinda like Chandler on Friends not liking Christmas all that much. My dad doesen't believe that silly things like depression and mental illness even exist. Whatever is really wrong with me my case is not as extreme as others are here. I have never attempted to kill or injure myself, not that I haven't thought about it a few times in the past, but that is all it was. I just have my bouts where I get really fed up and frustrated with everything. Nor have I ever been abused. I had a handicapped brother who died young, and an overcontrolling mother who frankly has her neurotic moments, that is all. Well, I was going to write a terse sentence and end up writing a novel. It is probably as honest about myself as I will ever be. I hope that answers your question. Thanks for the welcomes though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRoboto Posted November 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 25, 2004 Is it possible to edit posts here? I wanted to change a few things. I hope what I said doesen't make me out to be too despicable, or messed up, I am just being honest. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted November 25, 2004 Report Share Posted November 25, 2004 hi, I dont think i said hello yet so welcome and hello! Your post is fine but if u want to edit it you will have to pm josh and ask him to. There are some guys here and men can get BPD its not just women. I know what u mean about the emptiness, i hate how empty i feel loads of the time, even when i shouldnt b feeling empty. Relationships are so hard. I always try and push people away and test them to see if they will stay cos i am so scared of letting anyone close to me. Usually they give up and go then i hate them for it even tho i was trying to push them away they werent actually meant to go! The changing moods is so hard to deal with. Feeling so different from one moment to the next. Its scarey and feeling everything so intensly is awful Have u tried talking to a dr? it may help. Take care and i hope u decide to stick around. Tory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted November 28, 2004 Report Share Posted November 28, 2004 Just quick HELLO and WELCOME U are defiantly NOT the Only Male here AT ALL I hope u can feel comfortable positng soon, everyone is welcome here. Male or Female. Thier may be a few more Females diagnosed with BPD but it defiantly affects Males too. take care daisy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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