Don't Laugh

[pip]

OK

At the moment, my life is not great!!!!!!!!!!!!

(understatement)

However.

I want to restart my journal

I thought in stead of rambling - cos I do that here!

I would write a positive diary.

Problem.

I don't know what to put in it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing positive is happening

I changed a lightbulb today

(after several months)

Does that count?

Help please

[dolphin]

something else positive today pippy

I RANG YOU TO CHEER YOU UP

i prob didnt help but i tried

((((((((((((((((((((((((pippy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[pip]

Sorry Dolphin - I FORGOT

So you did - thanks

So does that go in the diary?

As you may heav guessed, the drugs have not worn off

and I have been asleep all evening

pip

x

[Eva*]

Even the lightbulb counts!

I hope you'll notice more things when you've done this a bit. Even if it's just an especially cute moment of one of your gang or that the sky looks really nice fora while.

And in a few weeks you can write about me under a heap of dogs in your living room

I hope you can sleep well tonight and wake up with at least a tiny positive spark in your heart tomorrow morning.

Love

Eva

[dolphin]

i did guess that you were still doped up

i dont mind that you forgot about me

and yes that goes in the diary :)

[pip]

Thank you Eva and Dolphin!!!!!

Maybe start tomorrow!!!!!!!!

[mort]

((((pip))))

I think it's a great idea and wish you well with it. I think you posting this should be in your diary coz it made me feel more positive reading it.

mort x

[pip]

Thanks mort

[Nuttymoo]

Pip no one is laughing when you are in a bad place it is all so easy to miss out on positives as the negatives take over. Writing things down can certainly help to make you realise the positives of what you have done no matter how small it is. Every little bit adds up, I think sometimes we often go along without thinking about the nature of certain things we do and we kind of disregard what we do by thinking it is something minor. I know it isn't easy but by i hope by writing down that in time you can build on the positives and realise that there are some positive things which you are doing, even if it does not always feel that way. I know that at first it is hard and we need people to help us see that something is negative as oppose to negative, so stick at it and we will all be here to help you.

Take care and keep us posted.

[pip]

I am not disregarding the positives

- hence my wish to record them.

I just am not sure what is positive.

Please excuse my shortness - I still feel like crap

I know what needs to be down

- my problem is doing it.

As I have over 7700 posts,

I am sure I will post how I feel

but thank you for your concern.

[mort]

((((pip))))

Sorry you are still feeling crap. I understand how hard it is to see positives when things feel so bad. At times a good feeling like pleasure can be replaced almost instantly by a secondary negative one, like fear or guilt.

I hope this doesn't sound silly but even making yourself a cup of tea or some toast is a positive thing if it is so hard to move because you feel so bad. As I said before posting here is a positive because it is reaching out and touching others and when we are in such a bad place that is the hardest thing to do. You are a wonderful communicator on this site and I really value your posts.

I hope you find some positives to put in your diary soon.

mort x

[Nuttymoo]

Pip i was talking in general when mentioned how easy it was to disregard the positive, we all do it at times. It was not directed at you.

[pip]

Thanks Mort - you are a sweetie

Nutty - maybe you should be more specific in future

(I mean that constructively)

[Nuttymoo]

No problem i am always open to ways to improve my posts, i will try to be more specific in future. However i do think that maybe you were a little oversensitive to the comment Pip, i find you oten turn things around on yourself. I mean this is a constructive way i am in no way getting at you, i know that is a reflection of how you feel right now and in future i will bare that in mind when i reply to your posts.

[pip]

i find you oten turn things around on yourself.

I assume you mean often.

In which case I do.

I have BPD

It is in my conditioing.

It is outwith my sphere of influence at the moment

- thank you for pointing it out, normally it would upset me

However, today, I have other things to think about

- other than criticism

[Nuttymoo]

Pip it wasn't meant as critism, i know i sometimes do not realise i am turning things around on myself until someone highlights it, we can become so lost in how we feel that we don't realise we are doing it. I am sure we can all realte to it. Anyway i never meant to cause offense but i clearly have.

[silas]

I think it's a good idea,

I do something similar from a blog/journal I have on another site, although I keep the posts private so it's really just like my own diary really. Thing is though, I only seem to post on it when I'm in a bad way, so it's become a diary of my negative thoughts. Which I think really helps.

[pip]

Argh Silas

Will I write good or bad?

pip

x

[silas]

I dunno pip, that's up to you really. Why not just post how you're feeling, so you have both good and bad. But then it won't be a truly positive diary, so maybe just good then.

[pip]

Silas

I think you are a politician!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I will go for good (I think!)

Thanks

pip

x

[silas]

Politician hahaha!!! been called a lot of things, but not that.

Good look with the positive diary :)

[pip]

Thanks Silas

- you made me smile!!!!!!!!!!

I owe you a prize!!!!!!!

pip

x

[pip]

OK

have brought the bin in (from Monday)

Is that positive?

This is really hard

[spaghetti]

Hi Pip

I wanted to add to this thread because to me, pip you seem very wound up and angry and irritable

and it is very sad to see you spending so much time on such negative emotions when u are

attempting to write a positive diary. I always find with diaries that it is better to just let the emotion out

positive or negative, that way it helps to get the thoughts out on paper (or screen) and make just a

bit of sense of them. Maybe not immediately, but sometimes on reflection. Just my personal experience.

I know we shouldnt hide how we are feeling and not pretend things are fine - it takes a huge leap of faith

to get out of the negative ways of thinking and move towards wanting a better life.

How else do we do it ? No-one else is going to do it for us, are they?

I wish I could help in some small way - i would.

I wish i could think differently too.

big hugs and love

xx

[pip]

Yeah Spaghetti

I am on a short fuse

- well spotted (LOL)

I am not hiding my negative emotions (as you can see!!!!)

I am just trying to grab the good stuff

- but I can't really see it.

Think I am having a bad day.

I am worried about seeing my CPN today

and GP tomorrow.

They will both give me grief (as is their way)

for ODing.

If you could teletransport me somewhere

- that would be great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks (((Spag)))

pip

x