spaghetti Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 ok, i have given this some thoughhow is it that everyone on here seems so reasonable when it comes to it ?Is it just me with the personality disorder ?Did I come on to the wrong site and this is really the Young conservatives, or something ? (lol)I have had two warnings now for my postings in the truth forum (why call it a truth forum if you're gonna get hammered for it ???)anyways, glad to see it is gone - i realise i was a bit reactionary in there thought it gave me a great deal of freedom to say what i wanted things i am too afraid , and far too sensitive to say in real life. I would like to know how people manage to cope so well when i obviously deal with things so badly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I would like to know how people manage to cope so well when i obviously deal with things so badly.Spaghetti, if you find out, please tell me.I am finding life hard to cope with toopipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
innermuddle Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 i have never had any warnings so cant comment on that hun but all i can say is that it is easier to give other people advice than it is to give it to ourselves, i did not know the truth forum had gone but i guess all i can say is we are all going through a battle just because some of us seem together in our advice to others does not mean we behave that way ourselves, i wish i could take my own advice somehow but it is always different when it comes down to my own issues Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vorpalblade Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 i guess it comes down to being sensitive towards other feelings and showing a little empathy and decorum at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted September 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Like "normal" people can do, then ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I hope your not suggesting people with bpd generally can not be empathetic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gobbothegoblin Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I think uve noticed that some people have accepted there disorder and are working to aiding and copeing with it whereas some others still have trouble comming to terms with it and harbour alot of fear and confusion. As for the warnings it tends to be just because of upsetting the "wrong" people. Very easy to do.. been banned cos of it -dave- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I have BPD.Everyone - who doesn't hate mesays I am very empathetic.I pride myself on itpipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangesoup Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I also have bpd, and I can be sensitive and empathetic too, and most of the time I am.Just because you have bpd, doesn't mean you are this alien species.It doesn't mean you are expemt from rules. And it certainly doesn't mean you can't take other people's feelings into consideration before you say something which would hurt or offend.I don't quite see what you are getting at? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gobbothegoblin Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 But as has been mentioned in other posts. Saying something to hurt and offend may sometimes be needed. For example posts in the previous truth section people asked for peoples opinions. This lead to people being warned because there opinions were not what that person wanted to hear.So whats right... lieing 2 someone and holding back ... or giving them a honest opinion.. even if ur honest opinion gets u in trouble-dave- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangesoup Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 There is a point when someones opinion, turns into a verbal attack on someone. That is when it becomes a bad thing...There was a post stickied in that forum stating, that it wasn't a place to verbally attack anyone.This has happened... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTBadBug Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I don't cope with upsetting people....well unless I have really been hurt, I have no reason to fight people here....if I don't like what they say I walk away and read something else....I suppose I am just one of the dumb ones who can't cope with being kicked so I try hard not to make anyone want to kick me, plus, it is far nicer to try and make someone feel better....I suppose there might be a big positive for you Spaghetti, when I struggle I sh....maybe you just let off your steam here....just a thought....it doesn't matter either way though.You add a different edge to the forums....which is a good thing...just don't shout at me else you will hurt me You take care and continue having fun, and if it makes any sense, the rule I apply for myself is....treat everyone else how I would like to be treated in an ideal world....if I would not like it said to me then I don't say it. Most people would call me weak....I suspect most people would say you are strong....and there are times when I do bite my lip.Just my thoughts.Jane :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gobbothegoblin Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Even if they ask for it?-dave- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangesoup Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Most of the people who got verbally attacked, certainly didn't ask for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted September 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 i can see that you have a lot of anger issues jopodont you like me ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
innermuddle Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 i think this thread has potential to get hostile and not sure thats good..........hope you all ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuttymoo Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 If it helps i don't know anything anymore, so i can't comment anymore than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted September 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 i know that everyone hates methats what i know Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 well you are wrong spag..i care for you. i can never hate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted September 12, 2006 Author Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 I think there are lots of people who hate me tooand just for the recordi do know what empathy isdoes anyone else ?really know ?like feel it , know ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realscape Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Hi SpagI would like to be able to offer some ideas to you, from a constructive criticism place.Aparently I have a remarkably high level of hostility which was so high that the psych dxd me with it in its own right. I also have BPD and a whole bunch of other problems. So I understand how hard it is to overcome communicating without causing problems and conflict here on this site, I am sure it is a struggle that we all have, it has been a problem for me personally several times.There is never a reason to say something to hurt or offend someone. If we do it out of temper or aggression or knee jerk reaction, then that is not the best way for us to communicate. We must take on board that there is a higher way to achieve communication. If someone says something you disagree with and it makes you feel very angry or very emotional, try to take a step backwards, deconstruct it, what it is that they have said, which element you feel you wish to argue against, and then stick to the "I feel...." statements. Because nobody can argue with how you feel about something.Attacking what someone says is never going to make that person feel like agreeing with you. In fact it will make them feel like hating you and defending their position even further. Pointing out what specifically they have said made you feel hurt or confused or angry is going to make the other person think a little bit. If you disagree with someone, you can say that you disagree, and put your own ideas forward in a way that is polite and respectful. If people are repeatedly feeding back that they think your style of communication is not respectful then you really must take that on board and consider how to word things differently or make your points in a better way. It doesn't mean you have to be a people pleaser or be fake and unreal, it means you do need to think a little while before you write something and consider the effect it is going to have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 some very good advice ther real.spag this hostility needs to calm down. People are leaving because of it, and its not like there are many places to go. night everyone. sweet dreams. and cuddles xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 RealIsn't "I feel" and "I believe"the best phrases ever?- I love themThat's what I learned from therpy!!!!pipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Pip they are very clever ways to express yourself. feeling words not blame words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted September 12, 2006 Report Share Posted September 12, 2006 Thanks Josh(I am really clever - LOL)Nightpipx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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