Betsy Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 I really feel like i am just whinning but also so frustrated that i could kick something, or scream, or throw something, or sit mutely in a corner rocking until they take me away. i know this doesnt make sense but i am just going to say it for me because i have to get it out it is becoming poison inside me and is doomed to only make things worse if i dont spew it out.. but it is hard.. hard to know where to begin. thanksgiving which i thought went fairly well...no major family flairups and everyone was her including my sons estranged wife. well since then i have heard calls all about things that happened... where the hell was i and why am i the last to know and why is everyone gossipping about my sons life... my life. one neice was talking about her talk with the daughter in law saying that she loved those kids no matter what happens between my son and his wife and that if she needs anything just let her know... well hell half the reason theyarent together is my daughter in law makes bad decissions.... my niece is concerned my daugter in law doesnt have enough money to buy my grandaughters medicine.(grandaughter is bipolar I) .. so if she needs anything just call... well she should stay the fuck out... i would never let my grandaughter go without her medicine and if she knows me she should know that! besides my son has been paying for it whenever his wife asked so.... his wife has applied for every welfare program avialable. maybe that is smart but she also made the decission when she left to rent a 1200.00 a month house. that is more than the house payment on the house that they lost because they couldnt afford it.... that is one reason she is in the shape she is in. she has badmouthed my son about everything yet when her care brakes down he fixes it... outside what he voluntarily gives her for childsupport. at thanksgiving she shared with a cousin that she would be divorced except that she doesnt have the money to file. well... how ironic... my son went over last week to work out details for a divorce but never got that far because she was crying and in such a state he didnt want to upset her more... i guess that would have made her happy. she is the one that wanted to come to thanksgiving here and i welocmed her into my home... you'd think that she would keep her mouth shut at least during that time. my son is the only one that has done anything to change himself. he took an anger management course voluntarily and also a child rearing class voluntarily. she has done nothing but whine and cry about her life... she left in march for this utopia of a life and i am sorry it didnt work out for her. she has a girl living with her to help pay her house rent but she is moving out in december and yet daughter in law hasnt begun to look for new housing... i guess she will leach off of the landlord until he does proceedings to get her out of the house. i know she had crap as a child and i have been gentle and caring with her but i have had it .... i cant take anymore. my son was told what she said about divorce and i hope he is making a lawyers appt right now. I never knew my life could be such a mess... i never pictured this in a million years. depressed.... yeah sorry for rambling bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Betsy, When you said you never imagined your life could be such a mess, it reminds me that when I married the first time and was heading for divorce, I could not believe it was happening. It was not what either of us had planned. We can't predict or control how our lives will twist and turn and shatter and resurrect and burn out and reignite over so many years. No matter how much work you or your son have put into it, no matter how innocent the grandkids are in all of this, sometimes bad things happen that we can't escape. I'm not saying that we can't make things worse or better, or that we have no influence on events at all, but some things are out of our control. I have experienced your "gentle and caring" and if she doesn't respond to your your compassion, there is something lacking in her, not you. Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted November 29, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Ann, Thanks for responding... i knew you would. its just feels so bad right now... i have no control... reason doesn't seem to be playing any part in my thinking right now... just pain and loneliness and rejection bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 Bets, Wish I could do more. It makes me sad to know that you are hurting. I am a few states away, huh? But I'm right next to you...arms around you, patting your back, singing you a little lullabye. Relax to me... :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted November 29, 2004 Report Share Posted November 29, 2004 I sorry i dont know what to say but i wanted you to know i had read. i wish i could wave a magic wand for you and make it better. i hope the situation improves for you soon. tc flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budgie Posted December 2, 2004 Report Share Posted December 2, 2004 I am here too....with a darn sore throat. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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