Aaaaarrrrrgggggghhhhhh Medication Vent Rant Thing

[realscape]

Firstly, apologies, I haven't been on site for a few days and haven't caught up with latest threads and other people's problems. But I jus need to vent something.

I get zopiclone and diazepam by agreement from psychiatrist. I am also supposed to take mirtazapine but refused it for weight gain reasons. I have been getting zop and diaz for three years. The psych acknowledges I am physically / mentally addicted and only a couple of months ago wrote to my GP to re-confirm that I should still get it prescribed because they queried it. To be honest the zop 7.5mgs doesn't work anymore, I alternate it with drinking or overeating or skipping a night and then take between two or four 7.5 mgs every other day or so. That way, I get fairly good sleep all week and if I take over two 7.5 mgs that makes me feel great, I have a lovely sleep and wake up refreshed.

So, I have a lot invested in maintaining my 'supply'. Fortunately, the government is enabling me to do so. My GP has put the zop on repeat recently so all I have to do (technically) is count off 28 days and remember to repeat the prescription on the right day. The diazepam I have to go beg for. So, I was quite happy with this little routine. In fact a routine that has only just been established and agreed by me, psychiatrist, and GP only three months ago.

So, last Thurs I put in my repeat prescription. They said you can collect Fri aft. I forgot, went to get it this aft instead, surgery having been closed all weekend, and now having already ran out of zop. The receptionist said "your repeat has been refused". Aaaaarrrgh I said "why?", she said she doesn't know. I said so this is great, now I have no pills and no appointment either (it usually takes several days to get an app). She offered me a cancellation with not my usual GP tomorrow, so I took it. But I have got a funny feeling my not usual GP is gonna feel like I'm trying to play her off against my usual one (being as how *manipulative* us BPDers are). However, it is my usual GP who has refused the repeat. This is very confusing because it was her who put the effing thing on repeat in the first instance. If she didn't want to repeat it, she shouldn't have given me a repeat the last time I saw her in person last month. For example, she always refuses diazepam on repeat. So WTF? I'm so confused.

If I was a heroin addict they would give me free needles and methadone and get me on high rate DLA and give me a support worker and free condoms and a 24 hour sexual health clinic. I'm jus a fecking depressed person and they make me dance like a performing seal every month to get the sleeping tablets which I have been taking for 3 years and which the psychiatrist has written to confirm and which they always give me anyway. They jus play games with me all the time. It is them who is inconsistent, manipulative, gamey, they make me beg and perform and nag for my pills. They say one thing and then do another. I'm so fed up. Now I'm drinking the two bottles of red wine for £5 just to alleviate the anger, frustration, misunderstood, feelings. What a great outcome.

I mean, regardless of whether I should or shouldn't get zop, why couldn't someone from the surgery phone and tell me my repeat had been refused and that I needed to see a GP?

OK. Rant over.

Oh yeah, and its not as if 28 x 7.5mgs of zopiclone is ever gonna kill anyone so this stupid argument they use, is not even a valid point. And anyway, they always give it even tho they make me do this stupid begging routine, so its not like they really aren't going to not give it.

Arrrrgh

Rant really over.

[pip]

It took me 4 phone calls

and crying this morning

to get 7 amitrptyline!

(mind you I didn't even ask to see a GP

- I went straight in with crisis mode)

I am lucky

I have my zop(15mg) and diaz(30mg)

on repeat

- but I only get 7 days at a time.

I have to "beg" for the ami

and get about 10 a month or so

- dependant on "crises"

I agree with you

- it is all a bloody nightmare.

I asked my GP if I had to cut, get an infection

- instead of ami

He said he would treat any infection as and when

Balls to them all!!!

[realscape]

Yup

bollox to em.

I have spend all eve trying to understand their minds, trying to get into their heads, trying to figure out exactly why one month they would tell me what the procedure is, and then in 3 weeks chopping and changing it so that the procedure is no longer the same after a month. And you know what. I cannot figure it out. Except they are controlling freakos.

It is not healthy to try and get in the head of a psychopath.

x Real

[pip]

Don't waste your time thinking.

Have a drink

complain like fcuk tomorrow

- always works for me!!!

[mrs tree]

my repeats i get so many repests before i have to be reviewed by the doc but they don't usually refuse just say i need to go in before my nxt px if it isn't automitaically re authorised...

Someone should of phoned you...

hope it gets sorted tomorrow

[realscape]

Thanks Tree

Thanks Pip

They are still selling 2 bottles of red wine for £5 down the road so that is sufficing. Going to have this out with GP tomoz. Will feedback outcome.

[paddypotty]

Real,hope it gets sorted,had similar experience and know how shitty it is.

Could you email me one of those bottles of wine?

Patricia

[pip]

Real

- kid on you are me

and RANT

If that fails - cry!

You'll get the drugs

- and can I have some wine for the advice please????????

- whenever I see 3 for £10 - I think of you!!!

(Oooops)

xx