lostsoul Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 Been back from the psychiatrist now for about an hour and a half. It was my first appointment with a psych. for about three years. It was a two hour appointment, but it felt like I was in there for maybe twice that long. I said so much, but still have so much left to say.... I cried through most of it. Which was embarassing. I told her I felt really ashamed to be there and I told her things ok I think. I dunno - a few times I got frustrated cos I couldn't seem to explain things but I guess if I had all the answers I wouldn't be there. She wouldn't diagnose me. She referred to counselling for BPD but she didn't say 'you have BPD'. She didn't want to prescribe me any drugs today either. She said she wanted to see me again for another assessment and also think about it all for a couple of weeks before deciding what the best drug for me was and also to 'mull things over'. She clocked that I was looking a bit dejected because she was deferring me to another appointment in two weeks. I'm confused - I thought I would only have to be assessed once??? Has this happened to other people???? I don't want to be assessed again! It was so draining I feel like CRAP. Am I so confusing and weird that she can't say what's wrong with me???? So I'm going again in two weeks. And then I have to wait 2 months for an assessment (another bloody assessment) with a counsellor. And that's just the assessment. I have to wait another 6 months after that assessment to even start seeing a counsellor properly. So let's tally that up...2 weeks to nxt appointment, then 2 months, then 6 months. HMM. That's EIGHT AND A HALF MONTHS I have to wait to see a counsellor. Sorry - but does this seem to anyone else like a complete piss-take? I mean, what? Just. what?????????????? :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 ((((Lostsoul))))) I really don't know what to say. I know that its different where you are and the states. I don't know why you have to wait so long to see a therapist. Beg if you must the next time you see the pdoc. The therapist will (I'm sure) recommend you be put on meds, if the pdoc has not done so, by the time you finally do see him or her. Just hang in there, I know today must have really been rough for you. Waiting the next few weeks to do it again will be rough too. We are here, which may help pass the time, if nothing else. Stay strong. By the way, never be embarrased for being honest to the doctors, even if that means crying. You shouldn't ever lessen, or make light of how you feel. You are in my thoughts, take care Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 ((((Claire))))) This is why I get so angry with mental health services in the UK. Honestly though you got better results then I did the first few times. First appoitment that should of been a crisis one after a suicide attempt, well she told me I was fine. That I could come back in a few months time if it helped to talk. Then never followed anything through. Next referal never got followed through. Then I started seeing a private psychologist. Who bailed on me as soon as I stopped 'behaving'. Apparently his insurance didnt cover mentaly ill people??? Now I see just a psychiatrist. The one I have to educate on meds Apparently they would love to offer me therapy and a CPN,and acess to the 24 hour crisis line but apparently there just isnt the resourses. So im really not to sure what you need to be diagnosed with to get proper,prompt care? Sorry hun.I belive the help is out there .But you have to fight for it. Something us bpd's arent allways the best at. But im learning. You will to. L xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted December 1, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 ((((delicate)))) & ((((lorna134)))...thank you for what you wrote it makes a lot of sense to me. I am going to try meds and expect I will be put on these at the next appointment. We agreed that a mood stabiliser rather than an anti-depressant might be the best option. But I dunno anything about stabilisers except the ones that go on bikes If anyone has any advice about mood stabilisers, lemme know, pleeease? By the way...my psychiatrist is already getting on my nerves. She talks to me as if i'm 3. With wide eyes and a nodding head. I half expect this hand puppet to pop up mid conversation to explain to me just how brave I am for going to try and sort all this out! I know they are a lot more sorted (apparently) than we are but do they have to be quite so condescending? :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted December 1, 2004 Report Share Posted December 1, 2004 Ohhh one of those. There called 'head tilters' Try responding the same way back. If nothing else it may stop you blowing a fuse. L xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crunchynut Posted December 2, 2004 Report Share Posted December 2, 2004 lostsoul I am so sorry to hear about your experience, the only thing I can say is that you are not alone in this experience of having to wait....wait...wait. From what I read from the internet there is a shortage of therapists within the NHS so that may be a reason for the wait. I had not seen a psychiatrist for a year because my previous one left and my therapist had said I should wait for a permanent psychiatrist to be put in post rather than see a locum and the it was not worth the wait that's for sure. I was asked why I was there if he did not know my maybe I would be better talking to the milkman lol, and other daft things which I will not go into in this post. The short and tall of it was my appointment lasted 15 minutes with medication prescribed with a follow up appt of 2 months that never came. So I am actually wondering if your psychiatrist has acted sensibly in some way in regards wanting to think about your health needs first although one day waiting for help is like a life time when you feel so very ill and desperate at times. This is why I get so so angry when I here the politicians spouting how well the NHS has improved. They should be ashamed of themselves when they know it is hard for vulnerable people to seek help and find it hard to stand ones corner. For me my self esteem is so low that I would not complain and just run and hide. Stick in there kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted December 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2004 (((((((Crunchynut))))))... Milkman ! yeah you got it! Politicians should be ashamed of themselves over this, as well as every other aspect of the country they have failed to improve and in some cases made worse. But they are too busy rolling in their money to give a shit. I have talked to my ma, and she reckons she is gonna pay for me to have private counselling until I can get it free on the NHS. That's incredibly generous of her - I would normally refuse financial help but she kinda caused all this crap for me so I'm thinking: fair enough. It's the one thing she can do to really help me, and she is always saying how she would like to help.... Thanks again crunchy.. (making me hungry!) Clairexx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted December 2, 2004 Report Share Posted December 2, 2004 Claire, That is a great thing your mother is giving you you. I would recoment setting up a few trial appointments with different therapists untill you find one you are comfortable with. Interview them as such. L xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted December 2, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 2, 2004 Hey thanks lorna that's a pretty good idea... I'll take along my puppet to help me ask the questions. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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