verbena Posted January 24, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 24, 2005 Thanks Kraaken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wisdom Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 Chants..........I am "a" lesbian! What ever that is....(just another label).... I have been in a same sex relationship for 26 years. My community accepts my partner and myself and are accepted outside of the community. We even went as far as adopting 3 children. In some states marriage is legal or that allow legal committments. Society is quickly changing its stereo typical thinking. In fact there are laws that now guarantee equal rights. I have never been other than proud to be lesbian. Being 48 has given me the opportunity to experience the worse of all that might and did happen as a young adult. I have been gay sine I was 15. I guess thats 33 years. wow.... but then would a straight person be counting the number of years he/she was/is straight? I'm so very sorry that you are having a hard time. I don't know your circumstances but I know that things get better with time. I have first hand experience. Its really ok to be who you are. Accept. You can't change......... Labels suk. Wisdom Dear Verbena, When I was in hospital last autumn, one of the junior female doctors asked me if I am gay. The question didn't shock me at the time although I got the impression she was thinking I was going to break down in tears of confession. I even looked her in the eye (which I've not been in the habit of doing since last March) and said "I think I'm Bisexual". See, I've had sex with both men and women and I prefer women but it's true that I'm attracted to some men too and had some good times with them. However, I've not had either a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend so it's still difficult for me to sort out. Also there's a few problems with being gay: 1. Society still doesn't tend to accept lesbians, not in the same way that Disney has the princess marrying the handsome prince fairytale. 2. It is harder to start a family, e.g. if you want IVF you have to pay a lot of money, either that or sleep with a male friend... 3. Standards of appearance tend to be higher, so you will do fine if you are slim and attractive, but if you are average and a bit overweight you might as well be invisible in a gay club. So I've got a few hangups about being a lesbian. Also I was taunted at school a few times for being a lesbian, I don't know, maybe I was caught looking at girls in their bras in the changing rooms.... bye for now K <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lille_eskimit Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 I am the antithesis of what a man should be... That's just the BPD talking!!! Don't beat yourself up over it...Everyone needs to be loved, even non-BPDs, so there's no shame in it! :hug2: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpy Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 I am the antithesis of what a man should be... That's just the BPD talking!!! Don't beat yourself up over it...Everyone needs to be loved, even non-BPDs, so there's no shame in it! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Fanku :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paula Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 ive never had any confusion over my sexuality, i definitely like men i think it is maybe to do with the identity thing? and trying to work out who you are? i have had problems getting carried away with sexual feelings, and often feel like i need calming down though :0( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susanna Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 I bounced the idea around in my (mixed-up!) head for years that I might be either bi-sexual or lesbian....and actually I kind of clung to the idea in the hope that it might the ANSWER to all my problems!! I had this ongoing daydream that one day I would meet the woman of my dreams and realise that I was actually gay and THAT was why I was so fcuked up. And me and this wonderful woman would skip off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Hmmm. And so then I dabbled. And nothing. So I dabbled some more. Stilll nothing. And then I thought what the hell and jumped into a full blown lesbian relationship and OMG! - jumped straight back out again because I finally had to realise that my sexual orientation had sod all to do with my lack of identity, or my confusion, or anything else for that matter. I wasn't lesbian, or probably even bi-sexual. But hey, at least I could score them off the list! Mind you, I still harbour attractions for the same sex, but now I at least have come to accept that it's all part and parcel of me not really knowing who I am. It's just another symptom, I think. Strange to hear you all describe the same confusion though! Isn't it amazing how similar our experiences seem to be?? Or is that just me and my newbie hopefulness ???? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 I dont find either gender overly sexy in a physical sense. Maybe im in denial about being into farm animals or something? lol I do tend to find mens personalitys more sexy though. An irish or a scottish accent can kinda get me going. But not being a very sexual being its hard to say. As a kid I had what I would class as crushes on older women. But I think that was more due to the attention they where paying me at the time. For now? Well I just fancy my vibrator every now and then lol.\ xxxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted January 25, 2005 Report Share Posted January 25, 2005 I always became attactched to my teachers and therapists and older friends because I guess I was looking for a substitute mother. But, I am attracted to men eso. the Italians. Lorna...you scared me about the animals :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Girl_Interrupted Posted January 26, 2005 Report Share Posted January 26, 2005 Hey I have struggled with this in the past. I have issues with guys and think girls would be better. I have officially worked out that I like guys, I'm not into relationships but I still look. I never knew that it was a BPD thing but now I'm settled and working though my issues. Em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpy Posted January 26, 2005 Report Share Posted January 26, 2005 Maybe im in denial about being into farm animals or something? I have often wondered whether I am in denial about being into hairier primates... Or is that Germans? More seriously, I get sex and love really confused. I think if someone sleeps with me they must love me even if I don't love them... My sexual past is pretty fucked up to be honest - a long story to tell- with lots of gaps! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted January 26, 2005 Report Share Posted January 26, 2005 i can appreciate that woman have a more immediately gratifying visual form than men do. i am always checking out girl's bottoms - they are delightfully round. i have been to several strip clubs with the boyfriend and enjoyed watching women strip because i think there is something very sexual about the female body - i mean if i see a guy strip i just think thats funny, not sexy. but i could not DO anything sexual with a girl. a man's body is something to do, not look at, so much. i think it can be very arousing to watch a very attractive woman do her thing on the pole. funny aint it. (i reckons it be a fun job too!!!!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted January 26, 2005 Report Share Posted January 26, 2005 I went out with my gay friend last night and her three friends. She told me that I need to be gay. I told her that it was not going to happen. I went to a gay club with her and my other straight friend. The guys in there were such eye candy. It sucks you can look but can't touch. My straight friend and I were all eyeing them up! :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauren18808 Posted January 26, 2005 Report Share Posted January 26, 2005 Put it this way, yesterday I was straight. Today I'm so lesbian you could wave Johnny Depp naked in front of me and I'd just look on with indifference. I don't know why I felt the need to say that. But Enjoy thinking about Johnny Depp naked those who are so inclined. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted January 26, 2005 Report Share Posted January 26, 2005 ty. i am inclined, and i will :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpy Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 Vaguely appealing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted January 27, 2005 Report Share Posted January 27, 2005 One of the few I find VERY appealing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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