spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Its too tempting sitting there on the top of the shelf it is not mine to hold must leave it where it is must not touch it it is not mine to touch i must not let it tempt me i am in control of this feel myself going into that zone no it doesnt matter anymore nothing matters anymore no one bloody cares so why the hell should i why do i keep going on to be ridiculed to be belittled and have others stick the knife in why when i can do that myself i am afraid though of doing my best so that if i fail then then i know i have really failed but if i dont really put much effort in then i never tried anyway so no harm done bloody stupid dont care just dont care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentAlarmXIII Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Hiya SpaghettiYou're not alone, dude or dudette! I had the feeling you might be heading for a little bit of a downer -- I guess you've been feeling quite sensitive over the last few days.People care. They do. You do too, inside yourself, or you wouldn't be posting, and that's a good thing.How can I help?SAXIII Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Hiya Spaghetti I had the feeling you might be heading for a little bit of a downer -- I guess you've been feeling quite sensitive over the last few days.To bre honest, what do you really know about me ? You dont know anything How can I help?You are a line of script - the damage is doneSorry - I dont feel in a nicey nice mood sorry if what my mood is like allows you to feel badbut as i said before - i just dont care Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentAlarmXIII Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Okay -- but why bother telling everyone? If it's your damage, then shouldn't you just get on with fixing it?Best wishes & don't be so silly when you know you can do better,SAXIII Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 erm .. forgive me for posting my thoughtssometimes it is easier to sit and type it helps with the temptationsorry i was unfair on yousorry if my comments hurt you and thankyou for taking the time to leave a post for me even if i seem very ungrateful , i am notI write here because it helps to release the pain i have bottled up insideso it does help to stop me doing any damage to myself. if you can understand that. I am ok, though - i am functioning - strange paradox , i know - but i am ok just need to release this sadness that is building up this over whelming sense of being a failure - in no matter what i do. I have a job, i have a family , i am going on holiday next week - so why do i still feel so devastated ?answer me that ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentAlarmXIII Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 I have a job, i have a family , i am going on holiday next week - so why do i still feel so devastated ?answer me that ?You don't feel valued enough and/or you're not paying enough attention to the value you have.Does putting it like that help at all?Best wishesSAXIII Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 nope - all it tells me is what a waste of time it is being here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentAlarmXIII Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 nope - all it tells me is what a waste of time it is being hereBest be off, then. Can your family get the deposit on the holiday back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 are you deliberately trying to wind me up ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentAlarmXIII Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Yeah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 well, it didnt workpmsl xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentAlarmXIII Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 well, it didnt workpmsl xxxIn which case, you're not angry -- so my ulterior aim has been achieved!Mwahahaah! You lose! You do not have the Will of the Warrior!Play again? Y/N Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 me thinks you play too many games ?I may not have the will of the warrier but you have raised a smile ..... lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SilentAlarmXIII Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs tree Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 I have a job, i have a family , i am going on holiday next week - so why do i still feel so devastated ?bacause these are things and not your feelings....You don't say i have a job i love, you don't say you are looking forward to the holiday.I have refused to go on holiday anymore till my feelings change as i just find them an endurance test so don't come from the school of thought everyone should be excited about there holiday.Is there anything you are looking forward to or anything you think you can work on to improve? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Mrs tree, thanks i think it is the thought of change that really stresses me outi am going away with the kids on my own - to somewhere i have never been beforeits a huge step for me and i am beginning to get very anxious about it When i am out of my comfort zone i get out of control sometimes and that is what scares me. the job i love - but i always have that feeling of not being good enough - i feel like a failure if i make one minor mistake - i wont allow myself to relax with it - and i am sure it wont be long before i get soannoyed with myself that i jack it all in . my family i love, but it always feels like there is something missing maybe i just think too much - but i am scared that i am not going to be able to cope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackie Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 Its too tempting sitting there on the top of the shelf it is not mine to hold must leave it where it is must not touch it it is not mine to touch i must not let it tempt me i am in control of this feel myself going into that zone no it doesnt matter anymore nothing matters anymore no one bloody cares so why the hell should i why do i keep going on to be ridiculed to be belittled and have others stick the knife in why when i can do that myself i am afraid though of doing my best so that if i fail then then i know i have really failed but if i dont really put much effort in then i never tried anyway so no harm done bloody stupid dont care just dont careHiya, A year ago my world fell apart and i also struggle to carry on, some days are better then others. I dont know about you but I hate it when people say they understand or you have got so much to live for. No one can stop me taking my life, i know it is my own choice either i do or i dont. I have tried twice but i failed, so maybe i didnt put much effort into it. I suffer from chronic depression and have recently been i have BPD. life for me has always been differcult but this last year has been the worst ever. Sorry i started out trying to ease your pain but all i have done is talk about myself but then i always was a selfish bitch...........I hope you start to care!Jackie x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaghetti Posted October 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 dont be so hard on yourself , Jackieyou sound like me though the way i talk about myself its not good is it ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs tree Posted October 17, 2006 Report Share Posted October 17, 2006 i think it is the thought of change that really stresses me outi am going away with the kids on my own - to somewhere i have never been beforeits a huge step for me and i am beginning to get very anxious about it When i am out of my comfort zone i get out of control sometimes and that is what scares me.Spag I think you are very brave and hope it works out well for you when you get there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted October 18, 2006 Report Share Posted October 18, 2006 Spag,(sorry I wound you up on the other thread)I think loneliness kills.I hope your children will get a lot out of the holiday. Are they planning their activities for during it? I hope they can include you in their activities.Thank you for your explanation at 1213 p.m, it helps me a lot.x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.