Daisy Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Im not sure if this is a BPD Thing or not..think so as it varies in degrees and can get pretty intense.. u see...iM OK...Im not really down, sure i cry a bit im sad sometimes, a lil depressed other times. but I HAVE NOT self Harmed in WELL OVER 2 weeks, I am doing great at work, my food stuff (i have ed) is going well..no its going AWSOME this past week. IM HIGH ON WATER and I LOVE IT. I am about to go to the gym for first time in 2 months -ive been doing all my exceirse at home, hiding from others. I went out to a social event for work on tues night first time i been out in 6 months. U see...I AM OK... the absolutly scary scary scary part and i cant stop thinking about it and cant stop freaking out about it is...that AM I REALLY OK? IS IT OK to be this OK? AM i faking it just to escape my feelings? are these really my feelings? am i really feeling OK? Is this real? will it last? I guess the major thing is when will i crash since we always do..thats the scary part i think. I hate to think that i will but at the same time its almost more familiar, more comfortable down thier if that makes sense. I know depressed, i dont know OK. Not sure if im making any sense, but either way.I needed to get this out Hugs tx for reading DAisy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Daisy, What a sweet name. I think what you just posted was very positive. That is wonderful!!! We must always remain optimistic, no matter how cloudy it may seem. We each started somewhere. Yes, sweetness, its okay. You will have bad days. But its wonderful to cherish those wonderful memories in between. Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Daisy hunni, YAAAYYYYYYYYYYY! I am proud of you. I had a gut feeling you could get to grips with the self harm. It is more than ok to feel good. I do understand what its like to feel more comfortable with feeling bad. If its what your used to as much as you hate it it feels normal. But these feelings you have now are what you have been working towards for a long time. Just the same as the self harm, feeling good will start to become more normal to you. I to really worry about the next crash. Feel like im living on borrowed time living a good life. It has stopped me making many long term plans. But im working on that. One day at a time. And enjoy them as much as you can. Who says you have to crash again? Maybe you will, maybe you wont. T Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Grrr Thats life. Take the good whilest its there. Deal with bad when it happens. (((((daisy)))) TC L xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calyps Posted December 9, 2004 Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Daisy, It IS ok for us to be feeling ok. I know when i start to feel better I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, the cycle to turn again and find myself back in the depths. Sometimes I feel the very me being ok is enough to trigger, i think I basically freak myself out. Try to keep in this positive vein, you are doing so well and that's what will give us momemtum. Anwen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 9, 2004 Author Report Share Posted December 9, 2004 Thankyou so so much for the replies, I dont feel so alone in this feeling anymore. I had such a good cry with my sister last night, I know this is real and its a good thing. Just gotta get used to it. Being OK...scary concept. Hope it can last a little while.. Daisy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RunnyWabbit Posted December 10, 2004 Report Share Posted December 10, 2004 Daisy, its OK to be OK. And I know its hard to be OK with that, but it can be the new you, imagine that, a new you? Or better yet, a better you. Congrats! Keep up the good work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted December 11, 2004 Report Share Posted December 11, 2004 I used to stress myself out big style when i was ok waiting for the inevitable crash, but now i enjoy the good times, i know at some point i will crash again but until i do i just chill. I hope the good stuff lasts a long time flippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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