Feeling Lonely

[Lauren]

I allways liked to think that feelings of abandonment where not an issue for me.

But in the last 6 months or so ive started to realise that they allways have been I just didnt want to admit to it.

Guess I was desperate to hang on to the idea that I was capable and independant and did not need anyone else to survive and feel secure.

Because of that desperation to remain dependant. I have never really let anyone in, in a healthy way.

Sure there have been friends ive gone out for drinks with etc. But as soon as they started to get close I backed of.

There have been men who I have sought out desperate to find a father figure in them.But then I have allways demanded there attention in the wrong way. By acting out and generaly acting in a negative way.

Now im ready to start letting people in,in a positive way I have no one around.

I am to scared to even start looking I guess. I want friends that I have an equal friendship with. Who I can call up and say 'lets go for a drink' 'lets take the kids to the park'

Without worrying that they wished I had never called.

More than anything I feel alone. Unwanted,unappreciated and bored. This by return effects my self confidence and ability to function.

Its a nasty circle. Bleh!!!

[Tracey]

(((((((((Lorna)))))))))))

reading your post made me think of myself - paranoid!

i to push friends away! i guess i've been fortunate with my husband as he refused to let me push.

i'm slowly learning that i do have some great friends who would do anything for me! as i would for them!!

it's a difficult journey but i'm slowly getting there! it's all about that dreaded word "TRUST", which most of us don't have

you are wanted and appreciated here and by your friends!

Traceyxxx

[Daisy]

Hunny you are so not alone. (((((((Hugs))))))))

Its such a hard feeling this abandonment issue, i struggle with it too but untill it was pointed out never fully thought it was an issue at all. Its a rather horrid cycle like you said.

'lets go for a drink' 'lets take the kids to the park'

Without worrying that they wished I had never called. what you said thier so echo's how i think and im sure how others think here too...whenver we call or talk to someone it feels so much as if we shouldnt have called, they will talk about us, they will be thinking about us, all this scaryness that creates the issues....i guess it just takes a Lot of time and effort to work through it and in time not feel that way.

I feel alone - Im sorry that you feel so alone, but remember your not alone here even though I know this is a little differnet, people here are always always here for you.

. Unwanted, - feels unwanted, and im sure u mean a lot by your friends and things here, like life outside the net..but be sure u are definalty not unwanted here and im sure thier would be founded evidence for being WANTED in your social circle too.

unappreciated - Ill refer straight to the net for this one - U are the ONE that has helped me stop self harm for Over 2 weeks now, and I am succeding without your motivation I know i wouldnt have started it and started the rewards...i can tell you even if no-one else appreciates you - but i know that they ABSOLUTLY DO on net and in life...im sure thier are many many many people that love and appreciate you..but even so...I DO APPRECIATE YOU and the person that you and thankyou from the botttom of my heart for getting me started nad viewing the self harm on a reward basis not a punsihment basis. Without u i wouldnt do it. U are GREATLY Appreciated :-)

and bored. = bordem honestly sucks....i hope it clears up for you soon and that you can find things to do and keep busy....games, music anything half exciting! chrismas shopping.......

You are a very special person Lorna.

Take care of yourself. hope i made some sense here....

Hugs Daisy.