Ha Ha Ha

[Nuttymoo]

Could you define your idea of real at the moment please nutty?

Are you saying i am deluded in some way?

Oh and Jai i am fine.

[whhyyy]

hey babe...... ok so what u wantin everyone to see? ur pain? ur suffering? babe i know u feel invisible but we can't help unless u tell us.. tell us staright and without mixed messages.. we are here to help u anyway we can but u have to let us. scream it, shout it, but bottlin it up and then we don't know will cause more stress as u will feel ignored, undervalued. but ur not, we're just not psychic. i won't send u a hug (as i normally do... lol), but i am sayin that our ears r open to whatever u need to say ok x

no offence josh, but i don't feel that ur comments will help someone who already feels they're not cared about.

(anytime)

[Joshua]

Thank you for your opinion whhyyy

[Nuttymoo]

Josh you never did answer my question of whether you were implying i am deluded in some way?

[Joshua]

Sarcasm gets you everywhere, then again i wouldn't of expected anything else. I mean to be serious would be to real wouldn't it.

i dont really know how to answer nutty. I am sensing you are very mixed up right now and yes maybe paranoid but this is what i see through an internet website and i can not be so sure

[Kelliemanic]

There's a forum area called attention seeking.

It's for people who can admit they need some attention.

Talking in riddles doesn't make people think "Hmm she has an interesting point there"... It makes people think "Wtf"

Say what you think. Whats so hard about saying that you think it's too cliquey on the forum.....or people aren't getting on with each other the way you'd like.. or you hate it when no-one is as down as you are right now.

Because that's the long and short of it, isn't it Nuttymoo?

When people don't "get" how you're feeling or they're in a happier mood or whatever you believe that they're somehow ganging up on you?

Don't alienate the people who are there for you.

[Nuttymoo]

Kellie i take on board you saying this thread should have been somewhere else, i will bear that in mind for future reference and at the end of the day the moderators etc have the right to move posts if they feel it is inappropriately placed. The intention of this post was not to create attention if you and others wish to believe that then that is your choice.

I have to say this isn't the long and short of it at all. You have a point about riddles and i accept your point, however you have to understand that some people find it easier than others to be direct about how they are feeling. Unfortunately i am not one of them, so with all respect i don't wish to be made to feel any worse about it than i already do. Yeah life would be great if we could all just say how we feel, life isn't that clear cut and simple at times. Some of those that know me better will know this is a downfall of mine struggling to say whats going on or what i feel. I could sit here and beat myself up about it as i feel you are having a go at me for not being direct, but that would achieve nothing, i spend enough time beating myself up as it is.

I will not apologise if i have made people thing WTF as we are all individuals and whether people get it or not my feelings are valid. I guess i am use to people talking in riddles and the sad fact is i actually get riddles, yeah at times they can be so frustrating and annoying like i can. However i respect that some people find it hard to be driect and at that given moment in time are doing there best to try and communicate. Many times at work i have had people trying to tell me something and often going all round the houses and talking riddles, i do not think WTF, instead i think this person is struggling to tell me something and needs some time and help in saying what they need to say. Yes it may take them a week even to say it but given the pateince and time more often than not in the end they are able to say what is troubling them. I guess i can relate to it maybe that why i don't jump to WTF. Yeah i admit there have been times when i have thought what the hell is this all about but then i am able to stand back and think about how frustrating it must be for the person who is clearly struggling to say whatever it is.

Anyway i am glad you are able to express what you need to directly - good for you, but please respect that i do not find it as easy and will not be knocked down for it, i have had enough of that in life and did not come here for more of it.

[Joshua]

Kellie i take on board you saying this thread should have been somewhere else, i will bear that in mind for future reference and at the end of the day the moderators etc have the right to move posts if they feel it is inappropriately placed. The intention of this post was not to create attention if you and others wish to believe that then that is your choice.

I have to say this isn't the long and short of it at all. You have a point about riddles and i accept your point, however you have to understand that some people find it easier than others to be direct about how they are feeling. Unfortunately i am not one of them, so with all respect i don't wish to be made to feel any worse about it than i already do. Yeah life would be great if we could all just say how we feel, life isn't that clear cut and simple at times. Some of those that know me better will know this is a downfall of mine struggling to say whats going on or what i feel. I could sit here and beat myself up about it as i feel you are having a go at me for not being direct, but that would achieve nothing, i spend enough time beating myself up as it is.

I will not apologise if i have made people thing WTF as we are all individuals and whether people get it or not my feelings are valid. I guess i am use to people talking in riddles and the sad fact is i actually get riddles, yeah at times they can be so frustrating and annoying like i can. However i respect that some people find it hard to be driect and at that given moment in time are doing there best to try and communicate. Many times at work i have had people trying to tell me something and often going all round the houses and talking riddles, i do not think WTF, instead i think this person is struggling to tell me something and needs some time and help in saying what they need to say. Yes it may take them a week even to say it but given the pateince and time more often than not in the end they are able to say what is troubling them. I guess i can relate to it maybe that why i don't jump to WTF. Yeah i admit there have been times when i have thought what the hell is this all about but then i am able to stand back and think about how frustrating it must be for the person who is clearly struggling to say whatever it is.

But this isnt a riddle now nutty, this is you justifying yourself. so you can explain things

[Nuttymoo]

Thanks but I thought everything i said was a riddle, maybe i can't distinguish between whats a riddle and what isn't anymore . Either that or i can't distinguish between anything at the moment, i will let you draw your own ASSUMPTION on that one .

[Joshua]

ummm lol

[Nuttymoo]

Ummm, you like that word don't you. Expansion .......... or are you speechless Speechless i doubt very much .

[Nuttymoo]

Hmmm why do i get the feeling you are all laughing at me today. Is it something i said or something i did?. Maybe its because you all see me as this fucked up person or maybe its because i said too much yesterday when i was trying to explain but all people did was nosey and laugh.

[badger]

Hi Nutty,

I'm not laughing at you and I don't think you said too much. I find it hard to be direct a lot of the time and end up talking in riddles, I'm just not comfy with blurting stuff out.

I don't think you're fucked up and if you are then I am too

take care

xx

[Nuttymoo]

Well the laughs are definitely on me again aren't they, that has just been proved. Why the fuck do i fall each time for it, only to find out everybody is the same, your one of them or your not.

[badger]

Nutty, I'm not laughing at you.

Everybody is not the same, we are all individuals but we can behave in a similar way to each other and have similar thoughts and feelings. You didn't seem happy that you thought you were fucked up and I was just trying to explain that you didn't need to feel bad because you aren't fucked up and if you believe a certain pattern of behaviour means you are fucked up then that would mean I'm fucked up too.

Nobody is laughing mate, totally the opposite, it really makes me sad that you are feeling so bad and thinking so little of yourself. We just want to help that's all.

take care

xxxx

[mort]

(((nutty)))

I have tried to say this before but just want to echo what badger has said.

Try to stay safe.

tc

mort x

[Nuttymoo]

Well i have only logged in as i felt this needed to be said. You know what aren't our lives confusing and fucked up enough, don't we struggle enough. As if any of that isn't enough then you find out people are saying things behind your back to your friends, says alot about this place doesn't it really. You know who you are maybe i was right not to trust all along. I mean i forgot we aren't people anymore are we, of course we are our label before we are a person - i mean if people that know about our labels think that of us then say no more.

[Nuttymoo]

The more i hear the more i don't know whether to laugh or to disbelieve it all or what. There is no way that anyone can even deny it anymore. It is blatently obvious that if your face fits around here or if your head is far enough up someones arse then your ok, if your face don't fit then its clear to see. I am not the only one who thinks this either, i have had other people comment to. Something dawned on me this morning and it is all falling in to place yet again. All do as you please.

One thing i will say is most of us here have BPD and whilst it is no excuse for anything. Just think of how you would react if the shoe were on the other foot so to speak, what more can i say. I am damn sure you would have similar feelings to what myself and others have right now, some who are remaining silent. Its ok though your on the inside circle, there is so much i want to say about this but i won't say anymore as it will be twisted onto me when some of us know otherwise.

[Joshua]

Nutty

Am i right to belive that this has something to do with people that are helping me out in the office?

[Nuttymoo]

Josh my issue is not with people helping out, i think thats good and you need people to help out in order to keep BPD World ticking over. My issue is with the way it has been dealt with and there seems to have been an element of secrecy about it. I mean whats with the selected chosen few, yea 2 of them are moderators soon to become more from what i am hearing and yes one is a member soon to become more to, part of the chosen people. So my issue is not with people helping, it is with the way it has been done. I am not the only one feeling this way, especially when you then hear off people about it and they rub salt in the wound so to speak etc.

I would be lying if i said this was the only issue, quite a few have popped up over this last week and well more are cropping up by the minute. Yes it saddens me that this place is not what it seems and that there is not the accpetance that people once thought there was.

I can predict your reply as you have an answer for everything and of course you are always right but i will reserve any further judgement.

[Joshua]

I can predict your reply as you have an answer for everything and of course you are always right but i will reserve any further judgement.

I wonder why im bothering should you alrewady know my response.

Its no secret people are here as you obviously know. I didnt realise i had to advertise the fact i needed people to help out. These people offered and i didnt have any reason to say no. If you wanted to help out also, i would of hoped you felt able to ask. You mention other people, this really doesent interest me unless they wish to tell me of the issues they are having directly. Thank you.

[Nuttymoo]

In all honesty i don't feel able to approach you right now josh and do not feel able to discuss what needs to be discussed for various reasons. Partly because of a comment that has been passed about me so who is to say you aren't talking any more or making digs behind my back. Yes i do not wish i felt this way but i do and i have reason to feel this way.

[Joshua]

Im not questioning your reasons but it seems you have been talking about this for a while now. You have posted on 2 pages of posts and its only just now we have got to the point. If you want to say something then i hope you can work on saying it.

Your going on hearsay not facts and thats your priviledge.

Its interesting you say your unable to talk to me about things as i hear from you daily and i thought you were making progress in talking

[constantly_confused]

Sorry I got halfway through this thread & got too emotionally involved so my response may be entirely irrelevant. Whatever happened to not being insensitive when we all know how hard it can be at times?

I too have trouble saying outright what I think & when theres stuff going on & you need nothing more than to be taken seriously the last thing you need is all these silly accusations about talking in riddles and trying to get attention, its quite obvious something is wrong & if & when you are ready you will let out. I thought this was a place where people would never judge you but I guess all that went out the window a long time ago??

Nuttymoo, whatever is going through your mind right now just take your time don't let anyone wind you up about it at the end of the day you only have to answer to yourself & you do what it takes to get you by.

Take care. x

CC

[Joshua]

I thought this was a place where people would never judge you but I guess all that went out the window a long time ago??

Seems this was an expectation that doesent seem to be met in your opinion.

I must stress i speak to people many times and have dealings with them on many occasions. I have not meant for anything to come out in a negative way but this post seems to have gone on for a while now and something is added to it daily.