Bpd= Supersensitivity?

[just me]

My sister said to me yesterday that she sees bpd as simply exaggerated emotional reactions due to increased sensitivity. She kept saying, "All people react like that, Charlotte. Just not as strongly as you do." When you think about it, she's bloody right! I can be sent off into a fully blown bpd episode, just by having a small disagreement with someone or seeing something violent or distressing on the news! I was very tightly wired to begin with, and coupled with any kind of traumatic event, it's perfectly understandable that I cannot cope as easily as someone who doesn't feel things as strongly!

KP

I wanted to reply to this without interrupting Badgers thread.

I've heard bpd being described as the emotional equivalent of the physical affect of a burns victim

In that if you remove several layers of skin...the nerves become super sensitive to pain, hot, cold, everything..... emotionally we are missing some of our layers of protection.

Apparently there have been some brain scan studies that show heightened activity in one of the parts of the brain that relate to emotions and reactions in people with bpd...unfortunately I don't have any more information about that.

Anyway this theory about us being super sensitive REALLY makes sense to me, and explains not only the increased worry/fear/hurt/pain/anger etc that I feel but also the way I can be too silly or too loud.

How one day I hide and fear all the world and the next act in a way to be the center of attention and trying to be the most fun person in the room.

The reactions we have are desperate attempts to make the feelings stop if they are bad or to keep them going if they are good (especially as the good ones are rarer than rocking horse poop!)

What does everyone else think about this?

[Micheal]

I've just been out and I felt like everyone was looking at me, like they've heard something about me

or know my face from the internet or something. It's like i'm still a teenager but i'm 35.

My earliest memories are of being very self-conscious, afraid of others (and big spaces and strange places

and big machines, like tractors) and of people misunderstanding me and thinking i was a big head and

generally disaproving of me.

[Morgan]

I can certainly relate to the heightened sensitivity - I am very very sensitive to the way people even look at me and then have over the top emotional reactions to that.

I feel it towards my own actions too - that I am always 'too much'.

[mrs tree]

the burn thoery seems really accurate to me

[stuart-g]

I have consistantly used the term emotional sponges whilst discribing BPD behaviour this is where the emotions of others are absorbed and cause an explosive reaction in the indidual... how ever it has always been my experiance that this may not happen straight away and it can be some thing small that eventually triggers the reaction!

Its a bit like Autistic Rage but more intense and totally unconrolerable in many people.

I dont believe that the "norms " do this, as when I try to explain this to the doctors they don't seem to understand this at all.

I think this is why the prisons are full with people with BPD, as just because an individual "looses there logical thought process" by the time any help arrives they are comming out of this condition.

So it is some times never seen by the medical personel who are meant to provide the right services and support. There is so much that needs to be done to prevent this in justice. But where do you start ?

I have been instructed to call the police but I believe this is a Neurological condition, simular to an epileptic attack in some ways? Would U call the Police to deal with that? I wish I knew the answers ! :wacko:

[DanDown123]

Hi - completely agree with everything you said, i can cry, get really angry or depressed or sad etc etc, at the smallest of things, whether real or imagined; or even just something that I consider may happen....

I am trying recently to be a bit more aware when this is happening, but, at the time it is so hard, because in my heart of hearts I feel as tho my reaction is warranted. Am reading BPD Demystified at the mo, everything I have read so far backs up what you say.

Can't really think of much else to say, no doubt in ten minutes I'll be feeling like a complete ashamed idiot, wishing I had never posted this cos you will all think I am a dumb attention seeking idiot, LOL.

Thanks for posting this, I like the burns analogy....

Danny xx

[InnerPeace]

I'm really enjoying reading The Highly Sensitive Person and The Highly Sensitive Person In Love by Elaine N Aron. It's fitting a few pieces into the puzzle for me. Doesn't mention BPD but it matches those traits in terms of being highly sensitive...very interesting ready and makes me feel more acceptable too.

[strat]

I agree with a lot of this, I'm supersensitive at the moment, my trigger has got much shorter of late and I'm getting triggered by things that wouldn't have bothered me once. I rarely do the silly or loud things any more, I reckon they've been "beaten" out of me over the years (I'm 49) psychologically speaking and I don't like to draw attention to myself. Unless I'm triggered, of course, and then it's back to 2 year old confrontational behaviour. And yes, I can see how it's like a burn on your emotions.

strat

[jai]

Moi sensitive?

on a scale of miss piggy to kermy , i'm more on the miss piggy scale....Hiya

[JTBadBug]

The theory sounds logical and yes...I AM supersensitive.

Interesting thoughts.

[just me]

Wow..Thank you all for your replies

I found each one of them interesting and with things I can relate to.

Micheal sorry to hear that you are feeling like this, I could reel off a list of advise that my OT. gives me when I feel this way, I'm sure it is things that you have heard before though....So it's not much but here's a ((((((Hug)))))) for you.

Morgan I think you explained it a lot more simply and clearer than i did , thank you

Mrs tree Thank you for your voice on this, glad to know I'm not alone

Stuart-g I have a frazzled head tonight so I'm going to re-read your points tomorrow and reply when i'm better able to take things in, but it sounds an interesting explanation/theory

Danny, thank you for you reply, you are in no way a dumb idiot, I think the fact that you are learning to recognize these things in your self is a big achievement, well done. and thank you for making me feel less alone with all of this

InnerPeace, thank you for the book title and the way it matches up with some of this. I know in my past I've ruined relationships by being over sensitive. I'm single now but may be I should buy it to gen up for if/when I'm ever in a relationship again

Strat, sorry to hear that you are feeling super sensitive right now, It's good that you can recognise this in yourself. I think you explain much better than me that the hyper/silly/fun stuff can actually be a reaction to a trigger and classed as an episode, reverting to type to avoid problem and feelings that we do not want to confront...the old crash and burn thing. thanks for making it clearer

Jai thanks for making me laugh.... a sense of humour with these things can really brighten things up

JTBadBug thanks for your thoughts on this, I'm SO glad it's not just me

A special thanks to KP for her words on this that made me feel brave enough to start my first real thread

Thanks to those of you that took the time read this too, Everyone here is making me feel Really accepted and welcome

just me

[badger]

yep I'm definitely super sensitive and I agree with a lot of what everyone has said.

My biggest problem with it though is that I try to stifle the feelings cos I feel like they are wrong and so I just end up internalising it and then one day it all comes out at once and then Bang! Destination Looney Toon central, ding, ding, next stop depression and self loathing.

If it's something that is going to make me cry then I can usually let it out as long as it isn't anything serious but any anger then I really try and keep a lid on it.

Danny - You are most definitely not a dumb attention seeking idiot, I love reading your posts, they always make me laugh and they are always so honest.

Strat - I think sometimes I have the same problem with having had silly or loud behaviour beaten out of me by myself, and I also don't like drawing attention to myself. But sometimes I can be ok.

The burns analogy sounds about right for me.

xx

[Antari2012]

I'd say it's accurate. Quite irritating when I try to explain what is getting to me to nons, since they reply "umm, everyone reacts that way." Thing is, I respond just like any person, just to a greatly magnified degree (x10?).

It works with all emotions, since something can make me extremely happy, but it takes only a small doubt or tiny comment to bring me down or make me violent.

[just me]

I have consistantly used the term emotional sponges whilst discribing BPD behaviour this is where the emotions of others are absorbed and cause an explosive reaction in the indidual... how ever it has always been my experiance that this may not happen straight away and it can be some thing small that eventually triggers the reaction!

Its a bit like Autistic Rage but more intense and totally unconrolerable in many people.

I dont believe that the "norms " do this, as when I try to explain this to the doctors they don't seem to understand this at all.

I think this is why the prisons are full with people with BPD, as just because an individual "looses there logical thought process" by the time any help arrives they are comming out of this condition.

So it is some times never seen by the medical personel who are meant to provide the right services and support. There is so much that needs to be done to prevent this in justice. But where do you start ?

I have been instructed to call the police but I believe this is a Neurological condition, simular to an epileptic attack in some ways? Would U call the Police to deal with that? I wish I knew the answers !

Hi Stuart,

I'm not sure that I absorb others emotions...but I do find I'm acutely aware of them.... and also somehow manage to blame myself for the negative emotions of others...IE I must have upset/hurt/angered/annoyed them to make them feel this way.

I think the feeling build up as we try to push them down...if we try to rationalise them into non-existence, blaming ourselves and trying desperately not to over react.

It's a fine line between being able to rationalise, recognised and accept your emotions as real but not to react to them in a negative way....and rationalising them, dismissing them , trying to be good and having them erupt out of you when you can not bare it any longer.

Who has instructed you to call the police? I think that surely must depend on the situation, it could make things a lot worse.........I agree there are problems and injustice's in the system, perhaps a topic for another thread?

thank you for your points, i have thought about them before replying.

just me

Badger you have just put into words what iIwas trying to say in my above post....internalising was the word I was searching for but couldn't think of (damn brain lol) thank you for your words

Antari2012, thank you for your reply, hopefully the description of how all or emotions are heightened and therefore our responses are in line with that...similar to if someone had several layers of skin removed will help you explain it to non's.

I know now that I will be using this description as it seems to be one that we all can relate to, and it's not just me.

just me (maybe not lol)

[Stephanana]

Hello all.

I read a book called The Highly Sensitive Person a few years before I had my diagnosis of BPD. I must say that it was an amazing read, and I could identify with it's many descriptions immensely. From what I am reading on this thread, I think that it may be of benefit to many of the forum members...xxx

[Stephanana]

Oooh, and before I forget, here is a snippet from one of the books on HSP...

Welcome! As an introduction to this inherited trait of high sensitivity, see if some of these statements resonate with you, or relate to someone important in your life...

You, your partner, or someone important to you have a heightened awareness of subtleties in your environment, whether it's sight, sound, touch, taste, or smell.

You or they can become stressed out and upset when overwhelmed and may find it necessary to get away, maybe into a darkened room, to seek solitude, relief and comfort.

You or they are very conscientious, hard working, and meticulous, but may become uncomfortable and less efficient or productive when being closely watched or scrutinized.

You or they feel compelled to file and organize things and thoughts, also enjoys simplicity and may become overwhelmed or even immobilized by chaos, clutter, or stress.

You or they are very uncomfortable when feeling things are getting out of your control.

You or they get a sense of comfort and well being when around a lake, river, stream, the ocean, or even a fountain.

You or they experience mood swings, sometimes occurring almost instantly and can also be affected by other people's moods, emotions and problems.

You or they have a deep, rich, inner life, are very spiritual and may also frequently have vivid dreams, including possibly nightmares.

You or they are very intuitive and can usually sense if someone isn't telling the truth or if something else is wrong.

You or they get concerned and worry about many things, and have also been told "you take things too personally."

You or they have had the experience of "cutting people out" of your life.

You or they were considered quiet, introverted, timid, or shy as a child.

xxx

[Morgan]

Quite irritating when I try to explain what is getting to me to nons, since they reply "umm, everyone reacts that way." Thing is, I respond just like any person, just to a greatly magnified degree (x10?).

That's exactly what my old therapist used to say to me. She would read through my self-injury journals and say 'These things that you are upset by... well it's quite understandable' - it's just that I take the getting upset to the Nth degree.

[folder]

Being highly sensitive is something I've pretty much gotten uncomfortably used to living with now, it's definitely a part of me, so I'd agree that there's a component of supersensitivity in BPD. Everyone gets hurt by things, but the knives that life draws across us are that much sharper.

I like how the list of characteristics from the book above suggests that high sensitivity is an antenna for the emotions of others too, which I agree with.

[InnerPeace]

Steph...that's one of the books I mentioned too...haven't read that one yet but the Highly Sensitive Person In Love by the same writer is great too.

[Stephanana]

Hi IP, yes...yes, you did! I think that you triggered it in my memory, I read and replied to another thread then replied to that one...brain works in strange ways sometimes! All credit to you for mentioning it originally! It is a beautiful book, and I had the ...in love version too, but gave them both to my sister's partner! It definitely gave me strength and understanding...switched a light on, as it were

Stephxx

[InnerPeace]

Just glad that you know about the HSP in Love one too Steph xx

[kissprudence]

Oooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is soooooooooo exciting!

Great thread Just Me!

LECTURE ALERT!!! BEWARE!!!

The Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) & The Highly Sensitive Person In Love are a must for anyone diagnosed with BPD! The Highly Sensitive Child (HSC) is also a vitally important book for people with BPD to read, because it helps us to understand the true impact our childhood experiences and environments have had on our lives as adults. Because highly sensitive people (HSP’s) are in the minority (it is estimated that 15-20% of the population is highly sensitive), we tend to be singled out and picked on because we are different from most other people. Therefore, a crushingly low self-esteem is something we have acquired, not something we are born with.

The term “highly sensitive” is a bit of misnomer in some ways. It doesn’t simply mean being understanding and compassionate (although people who are highly sensitive are these things too). Being an HSP means that your nervous system is wired completely differently to other people (non-HSP’s). HSP’s are painfully aware of our environments, and notice everything around us. HSP’s process vast amounts of information all day, every day, and as a result, we can become overstimulated, exhausted and frazzled more quickly than non-HSP’s. HSP’s also process information more deeply than non-HSP’s, which explains why we are always being told that we “think too much” and “shouldn’t read so much into everything”!

Highly sensitive people have a very fast-acting and reactive “fight or flight” response, so we become pumped with adrenalin much quicker than other people do in situations which we perceive to be threatening. We are especially attuned to changes in our environment that could signify a potential danger, and our reaction tends to be “run” or “attack” without waiting to find out if any real threat exists. (Think about it! Classic BPD defence mechanism!) HSP’s are also very sensitive to pain, including an intolerance of anything too hot, too cold, too scratchy (hate those irritating labels inside your clothes, anyone?), or too constricting. They are sensitive to strange tastes, smells and sounds. Basically, anything that may alert them of danger. HSP’s are nature’s security system if you like, and they can be observed in all higher animals, not just humans. High sensitivity is an essential survival tool within any species that lives in a social group.

To give an example; when you drive past a field full of sheep, have you noticed how a small percentage of them look up, while the others take no notice at all? This is because the sheep who look up are the highly sensitive ones (HSS – Highly Sensitive Sheep!). They are more alert and easily startled than the others, who can relax and get on with the business of eating, safe in the knowledge that if any danger becomes apparent, the sensitive sheep will warn them of it. What highly sensitive animals and people are designed to do, is to notice and respond to ANY change in stimulus in their environment. In evolutionary terms, this makes sense. It doesn’t matter if that rustling in the bushes is the wind or a rabbit – there is a chance that it could be a predator waiting to attack, so to err on the side of caution is a matter of life or death! This is why HSP’s are often accused of always bringing a downer on everything – they are programmed to look for the flaws in any plan!

Worst-case-scenario thinking is very common among highly sensitive people, and it’s there for a reason! What’s the worst thing that could happen when your partner takes that flight at the weekend? They could crash and die. (Ring any bells anyone?) HSP’s are designed to give these “life or death” warnings in the natural world, and the reason we find modern life so crushingly hard to cope with, is that the dangers are all too frequently seen as a normal part of our daily lives. In this “crash and burn” society, where the ability to tolerate high levels of stress is seen as a positive trait (especially in the corporate arena), HSP’s are constantly told that we should, “pull yourself together”. In my opinion, in a world that seems to be hell-bent on destroying itself through greed, selfishness and lack of foresight, HSP’s are needed more than ever!

HPS’s will not often be found in any environment which is fiercely competitive, such as corporate finance or the stock exchange, for example. Competition is something that HSP’s are not very comfortable with or good at, partly because of its aggressive nature, but mainly due to their inherent biological differences. HSP’s find it very difficult to shut out unwanted stimulus, making it hard for them to focus on one thing (the finish line!) when other things are happening around them (the screaming crowd). They are programmed to notice everything with the same intensity, which, if you think about it, has parallels with the BPD’s inability to filter important information from non-important information! However, HSP’s can really shine in other areas of life. For example, they are often very creative and will be drawn to the arts, such as writing, drama, music or painting. A large number of HSP’s will also be found in caring professions, being strongly driven by their compassion for fellow beings. Organisations like Amnesty International and Greenpeace are the children of HSP’s, who find injustice impossible to tolerate.

I could go on forever about this, but I’ll try and get to my point! (Read the books on HSP’s!)

Since being diagnosed with BPD and bipolar quite recently, I have read extensively on these illnesses. What I kept coming back to again and again was this inherent trait of high sensitivity. It seems that we all have it in common, and I'd be a dumb bunny if I didn't recognise the significance of this! The difference between a highly sensitive person and a person with borderline personality disorder is that the person with BPD has almost invariably experienced a difficult or inconsistent upbringing, many having experienced being raised in an environment that they perceived to be unsafe or even terrifying, thus making them feel unstable and unable to relax. Traumatic events in childhood have also been commonly reported and indeed, many of the symptoms of BPD overlap those of post-traumatic stress disorder. Trauma is known to actually “rewire” the brain of a previously stable and confident individual, so that it works in the same way as the brain of an inherently born HSP! The implication of this is huge. Basically it means that if we are born highly sensitive and then we experience trauma, our sensitivity is heightened tenfold, to the point where our feelings and reactions are grossly exaggerated. The potential dangers that HSP’s are naturally so attuned to, become all too painfully real. Therefore, it makes sense to us to accentuate these “fight or flight” responses in order to avoid another attack.

The person with BPD sees everything in “black and white”, all or nothing terms. Think about it. If you’ve been violently assaulted by one person and you’re an HSP, you are going to see everyone as a potential aggressor. I mean, to the traumatised HSP, can you afford not to? Life or death, worst-case-scenario thinking is perfectly understandable, especially when you have survived an actual attack. The threat is no longer just a threat – it has become a reality. The HSP knows it’s real; they heighten their senses accordingly. Doesn’t this sound oddly familiar to anyone? HSP’s FEEL everything more intensely than non-HSP’s, as do people with BPD. HSP’s are often perceived as being drama queens and are constantly accused of overreacting, as are people with BPD. However, this is their natural reaction to an environment which is often overwhelming and frightening. Because of their heightened “fight or flight” response, coupled with the inability to correctly filter incoming information, HSP’s will often get defensive very quickly. “Don’t take that chance! Act angry and act fast!” Another trait of BPD. This is accentuated by modern culture’s intolerance of sensitivity, which leads HSP’s to have a very low opinion of themselves. They expect to be criticised because they so often ARE! BPD again!

Some of the more disturbing traits of BPD, such as stabbing yourself or running around the city in your pyjamas in the middle of the night (guilty of both, I’m afraid!), are sadly seen by many people as signs of insanity. I see it differently. To me, these distressing behaviours are simply the traumatised HSP’s way of saying, “This is all too much! I can’t cope! Please somebody help me!” When you look at it like this, isn’t it totally understandable? If you look at the behaviours and thought processes of the person with BPD, they are exactly the same as those of a highly sensitive person who has survived a traumatic event. To the HSP, a traumatic event doesn’t have to be something extreme. Due to their exaggerated feelings and responses, the HSP can find many things traumatic. A family row where people are shouting or screaming; seeing an animal run over by a car; moving house and starting a new school; any form of public humiliation, like teasing or being laughed at; even someone shouting out something unpleasant as you walk past them (how may of you ladies secretly hate walking past building sites?). To the HSP, many things that non-HSP’s find just unpleasant or upsetting, are simply traumatic.

Good gracious! I can talk can’t I?! I reached “system overload” level ages ago, so am probably making NO sense at all, but wanted to post this so that you could all chew it around and see what you think! You’ll find loads of holes in it, as I am aware (we’re all HSP’s – we consider all the possibilities!), but please write and ask me anything you want to. I’ve researched this in depth and I think I’m on the right track. I just can’t cover everything in this one post!

What I am hoping to achieve, is to help some of you feel better about yourselves. BPD has had some really unpleasant press to date, most of it due to a complete lack of understanding. And I might add, most of it has been generated by non-HSP’s!

It is my opinion that people with BPD are beautiful, exquisitely sensitive individuals, who sadly have seen more than their fair share of trauma, abuse, injustice and neglect. Most upsetting of all, we have been misunderstood for too long (what’s that they say about validating the feelings of the person with BPD?). It’s time we started to see that we are good. All of us.

Kind regards,

KP

xx

P.S. I also recommend, “The Highly Sensitive Person’s Pants”, which is a stunning read.

P.P.S. Sorry! Too good to resist!

[InnerPeace]

One of the things that made me laugh in the HSP In Love book was reference to how we may be scared of commitment because of our sensitivity to what we perceive to be annoying habits and that is so me! I have to have a meal with someone to see how they eat before I can consider them serios partner potential...I have a friend who's a noisy eater and I really find it hard relaxing having dinner with her!

Also, my sort of boyfriend, commented on how I'm a quiet sleeper and I thought then that interesting he was concerned...he's an HSP too. Thankfully he's also a quiet sleeper!

I find it really unsettling when people noisily bang cupboard doors and that sort of thing and amazed that they just don't notice. As for other people's children...aaaargh!

[strat]

KP: good post once again, thanks for the insight! Makes a lot of sense!

strat

One of the things that made me laugh in the HSP In Love book was reference to how we may be scared of commitment because of our sensitivity to what we perceive to be annoying habits and that is so me! I have to have a meal with someone to see how they eat before I can consider them serios partner potential...I have a friend who's a noisy eater and I really find it hard relaxing having dinner with her!

Also, my sort of boyfriend, commented on how I'm a quiet sleeper and I thought then that interesting he was concerned...he's an HSP too. Thankfully he's also a quiet sleeper!

I find it really unsettling when people noisily bang cupboard doors and that sort of thing and amazed that they just don't notice. As for other people's children...aaaargh!

I'm like that too. I also find my cats very annoying at times, they don't want to sleep when I'm working, for example.

strat

[DanDown123]

Hi

I have probs with the council housing department at the mo. Now if I get a letter with a council stamp on it, even it's about nothing, it takes me about 10 minutes and several reads to calm down. If they call me, about 2-3 hours. If they do something stupid and annoying ( a quite frequent occurance), about 2-3 days.

The bus is full of screaming - and I mean screaming - kids on the way home. I would not like to think how many times I have empathised with the song I Don't Like Mondays.

I have many arguments with my business partner, either because he has criticised me about something really minor, which I have taken to heart; or because he says I am being negative and looking for problems that aren't there.

And as for itchy labels, I will only say there should a law against it, and leave it at that.

Do I qualify as an HSP? I thought I was just a drama queen

It would be a laugh, if it weren't so bloody exhausting....

Now what's the magic cure?

Dxx