Bpd= Supersensitivity?

[kissprudence]

Oh Danny, that's eeeeeeasy!

The magic cure is that we destroy the 80-85% of the population that is NOT highly sensitive, and then we live in blissful peace as a fluffy and well-adjusted race of lovely, scrumptious peeplings.

Hoorah!

KP

xx

P.S. I'm sorry, I know that wasn't practical, but it really is the only solution. Or live in the middle of nowhere like me, so you never see anyone. That works too!

[DanDown123]

Or live in the middle of nowhere like me, so you never see anyone. That works too!

KP

LOL

Yeah, I have a fantasy of being Robinson Crusoe, or however you spell it, cept without Man Friday (apart from occassional shags) and all mod cons. I'll be bored and lonely, but at least there will be no-one to annoy me, unless Man Friday is expecting breakfast

Dxx

[Stephanana]

Brilliant post KP, made me giggle as per usual too:) Reading the HSP book helped me soooo much, as I identified with so much. Some days, the sounds of somebody eating seems amplified, chewing gum chomping, sniffing n snufflin, coughing n hackin seems to permeate through my fragile ears to my inner soul and buuuurn. Whilstling?? AAArgh!!!!!

Strange, as I cope well working with the public although I used to be selective about which patients I would see, when I had the chance...I couldn't cope being couped up in a small room with loud, arrogant personalities invading my personal space! I am good at concealing my irritations as I hate for people to feel uncomfortable in my presence, but inside I am bubbling with pain from the 'noise'. Shockwaves, almost!

I am proud of my sensitivity as it makes me a gentle, loving creature who notices the little things, tunes into peoples moods when I am with them and I can be very empathetic...I cry easily too (happy tears, I must add) and I'm not ashamed of my emotions. I have a male friend who is HSP...ain't it great when you meet like, and he is a delight in company, although likes to be alone alot too...so loving, tactile, genuine...and relates to my adoration of animals and doesn't just sit staring looking bemused if I get teary!

Bizarrely, it was my old boss who opened my eyes to my HS, whereas I tried to fight it and tried to 'toughen up' deny the true me! I was in a flap yet again over something or other (renowned problem patient who always cancelled last minute,not bother to attend at all or would turn up at wrong time then let rip if you couldn't squeeze em in...very shouty and full of selfimportance), so, I was getting teary but frustrated yet putting myself down in irritation that I couldn't just stand up to this bully, and he sat me down, took my hand (nowt sexual between us..he treated me like a daughter) and said ''Steph, you are just highly sensitive...you are not a wet blanket, you haven't overreacted..you are one of those wonderfully gentle beings who are softer than most, but use it to your advantage and be proud'' I had never heard anyone say anything like this to me before and it touched me so deeply...I went straight to Waterstones after work and scoured for anything on sensitivity. Found one book...saved me!

Funny you should mention the escapism, as I am taking a little break from home and the site...I have a major job interview on Monday and I am doing me darned hardest to stay focused on my preparation, then I am going on a little 'holiday' with a friend who is such a laid back hipster; doesn't have Tinternet!!!!!

I am very excited, as lots of nature walks, absorbing the countryside and exploring new places..in the peace and quiet! No TV, no mobile, no PC, no radio!!!!

I send big HSP hugs to those out there...there is hope, for sure..only a few months ago, I was in a mess but I realise that it was the final chapter in my suffering, and I am on the correct path to healing now and have built many layers of strength, buried many demons and feel so optimistic about where life is going and, most importantly, how I feel about myself! I am so grateful for all the lovely peepes I met on here, and will never forget the support I gained when in my darkest hours...I'll be back soon to catch up, but it'll be a little while.

Take care, peace 'n' love!

Stephxxxx :wub:

[strat]

A couple of other things: I work from home, and the local kids play football outside all the time which drives me to distraction as I can't concentrate - I'm listening to the ball all the time.

The other one is those moving avatars - nothing wrong with them (Jopo), but I end up in a trance watching them move and forgetting about the thread altogether.

Hope this is in the right thread. It's a bit early for me and I'm going to the dentist...

strat

[badger]

Or live in the middle of nowhere like me, so you never see anyone. That works too!

Me and my hubby have said so many time that we should go and live on an uninhabited island.........

...... but only if it had high-speed internet access and a good postal service!

and obviously we'd have to take the kitties with us

[just me]

Thanks for the book recommandations guys

definitely going to ask for book tokens for my Xmas pressie this year.

When I started this thread I had the intention of replying to each post...

foolish of me I now know. lol

I'm hitting a bit of a low and am a little overwhelmed by so much information and points to take on board, I WILL look back once my head is less fuzzy.

But I DO want to thank each and everyone of you for your thoughts and opinions.

It's hard to explain how much it means to me to have people that are listening and feeling similar things to me and giving me new things to think about. (getting mushy) This site is great and what makes it great is you lot.

THANK YOU :wub:

[strat]

I went out this morning (before the dentist) to Borders and bought the HSP book; I'll let you know how I get on with it.

Oh and I was given free chocolate with it too, good stuff!

strat

[kissprudence]

Hoorah! Great stuff Strat! How wonderfully motivated you are!

Please let us know how you get on!

I really believe it will be incredibly soothing to you.

Take care,

KP

xx

[InnerPeace]

Hi Just Me...I find it totally awesome too that people read my posts and reply...it's one of the many ways that this forum really helps us.

Hi Strat...were Borders giving chocolate to all their customers or just obviously highly sensitive people looking in need of a chocolate fix?!

[strat]

Hi Strat...were Borders giving chocolate to all their customers or just obviously highly sensitive people looking in need of a chocolate fix?!

I'd like to think it was just me (she was quite cute), but I think it was for anybody. I was in quite early, so they wouldn't have lasted long, though. I'll eat it later on.

strat

[Miko]

Oh Danny, that's eeeeeeasy!

The magic cure is that we destroy the 80-85% of the population that is NOT highly sensitive, and then we live in blissful peace as a fluffy and well-adjusted race of lovely, scrumptious peeplings.

Hoorah!

KP

xx

P.S. I'm sorry, I know that wasn't practical, but it really is the only solution. Or live in the middle of nowhere like me, so you never see anyone. That works too!

KP,

I think I've a better idea than yours - born of being the advanced age of 51 - namely to manoeuvre the non-HSPs into doing things I want and need nd can't do for myself. Snag: needs a Rethink One-to-One support person to facilitte that. Making a virtue (helping me) of the necessity (those awful non-HSPs) This concept is still at a very early stage I hasten to add

[badger]

Because I'm highly sensitive I sometimes have a bit of a fight going on over which thing I'm sensitive to should take precedent. For example, yesterday I was on the Metro and a woman with her baby got on and she did a little speech about her situation and that she really needed money to feed her baby, then she went round the carriage asking for money, well actually she was pleading with people to help her.

So because I'm a HSP I felt really deeply for her, even if it was a scam I didn't care, I just wanted to help her, but no one gave her anything. So then I became really self concious and I was scared of what the other people on the train would think of me if I gave her any money. So I did nothing and then felt like a coward.

And I think this is similar to something I do here as well. Someone posts and asks for help and some of the time I answer and try my best to help them and other times I don't. Sometimes the reason I don't answer is because I really feel I can't do anything to help or I'm not really in a place to help anyone. But other times it's because I'm really scared of what everyone will think of me, this site has +3,500 members and I get so paranoid sometimes and think that all of them will read what I've written. So although I really want to help and I really feel for whoever it is in distress, I very cowardly don't reply because I'm scared that people will think I'm stupid or that I've said the wrong thing or even that people will think " she/he didn't mean you should reply, they doesn't want your help, nobody wants your help, you're not really welcome here, we just pretend". Obviously I don't feel like that right now or I wouldn't be twittering away so merrilly. I can become very self concious and feel vulnerable for lots of different bizarre reasons and a lot of the time they aren't related to the post or the forum.

Today I feel the same way as IP, I'm just so amazed that people reply to my posts and people are actually interested in what I have to say. It makes me feel like maybe I could be loveable/likeable and I really can't describe how it makes me feel that there are so many people who understand how I feel and who think, feel and behave so alike. A-fucking-mazing!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'me off to do a Jigsaw so I can reset my head.

tc kids

xx

PS Have you eaten your choccie yet Strat?

[strat]

PS Have you eaten your choccie yet Strat?

I'm afraid I ate it last night in bed. It was so nice that I went out and bought some more today. I hope it doesn't become an obsession!!

Thanks for asking, Badger.

strat

[InnerPeace]

If he hasn't eaten that choccie yet I'll have it!

I can relate to the train episode Badger...things like that can stay with me a while. I have to try and let it go or force myself the next time to do what I was too scared to the previous time.

When I post I kind of kid myself that no one else is going to read what I write and that way I feel less self-conscious. Sometimes I do waiver before I hit the reply button. Feels safe at the moment typing when no one else can see but when it's posted I feel self-conscious to see that people have read what I've written and sometimes a bit scared to see what the replies are.

I'm far more sensitive to noises than most people and where I sit and all that sort of thing. It's horrible when people think you're just being bloody awkward. There are subjects that I can't handle hearing about, torture especially. I know awful things go on in the world, I know things have to be done about them, but I just can't handle it and me knowing about something terrible the other side of the world that I alone can't do anything about doesn't help.

I avoid watching the news...we take on that negative energy and send it back out into the world. There was an experiment done in the States with hundreds of people meditating and sending out positive thoughts...the crime rate dropped at the same time...and not because the criminals were off the streets meditating!

[rebeccaborderline]

Hi

long thread, wanted to reply to several points but lost my way now...

From Just Me "Apparently there have been some brain scan studies that show heightened activity in one of the parts of the brain that relate to emotions and reactions in people with bpd...unfortunately I don't have any more information about that."; -there are reputable and several (US) studies now showing significantly high proportion of BPDs to have shrinkage of amygadalla and hippocampus, particularly so when twinned with childhood sexual abuse (not replicated for physical abuse)

me; oversensitive certainly to all emotions, rarely express them (Strats "beaten" out of me), internalise and S/H to cope; and same as Strat, age hasnt withered this oversensitivity, sorry folks

oversensitive to others emotions, same result can occur ie their pain becomes mine overwhelmingly; this "empathy" doesnt necessarily make me a nice person as I will push people away in perceived need to protect myself

Burn theory on the button, thanks; in addition the emotions bring physical sensations, I feel scalded, also stabbed

Another trait that I have, does anyone else?; complete inability to learn through experience when it comes to emotions eg when Im in crisis, cant remember ever not feeling like that, hence hopelessness. When Im well, remember events of crisis but not the feelings, cant see how i could ever have let myself feel feel so bad

rebeccaborderline

[InnerPeace]

That last point Rebecca I think is part of our defence mechanism. It's the kind of thing some mothers say about childbirth...if we remembered just how bad the first was we'd never have anymore (although not everyone finds it that painful). When I look back at traumtic events I have no idea how I survived them.

[strat]

rebeccaborderline: echo no emotional memory and have/will abandon people in emotional crisis to "protect" myself. Good post.

strat

[InnerPeace]

That's made me think about something Strat... I seem to be immune to people 'playing the violin', I take what they say completely at face value whereas other people would say that it was such an obvious plea for pity...I'm wondering if that's my defence mechanism rather than me being totally naive! I have a life time of my mother playing the martyr so I guess another reason could be overload. Otherwise I'm quite empathic.

[strat]

That's made me think about something Strat... I seem to be immune to people 'playing the violin', I take what they say completely at face value whereas other people would say that it was such an obvious plea for pity...I'm wondering if that's my defence mechanism rather than me being totally naive! I have a life time of my mother playing the martyr so I guess another reason could be overload. Otherwise I'm quite empathic.

With me I think it's a trust thing - I really don't believe what I'm being told and I'm paranoid that I'm being used in some way (or they like the sound of their own voice), so I think it's all false. I suppose that's why I share my house with animals rather than people, they don't (can't) pretend or lie.

strat

[InnerPeace]

I think my sort of partner is the same Strat (not the words 'sort of'! if he trusted we'd be together now!)

I'm the opposite...I trust till the cows come home. Yes it gets me hurt sometimes but strangely people don't tend to abuse that trust too much...I tend to attract manipulative friends but the wall goes up when it sinks in what they're up to. I've always been lucky with my partners, none have been complete bastards.

I would rather trust and be proved wrong than miss out on something potentially wonderful.

[strat]

I think my sort of partner is the same Strat (not the words 'sort of'! if he trusted we'd be together now!)

I'm the opposite...I trust till the cows come home. Yes it gets me hurt sometimes but strangely people don't tend to abuse that trust too much...I tend to attract manipulative friends but the wall goes up when it sinks in what they're up to. I've always been lucky with my partners, none have been complete bastards.

I would rather trust and be proved wrong than miss out on something potentially wonderful.

I'm not a complete bastard, you just can't get through to me on any level, no degree of commitment, nothing.

I'm the opposite to you, which is why I'm now on my own, and can't now conceive of being any other way.

strat

[InnerPeace]

Oh God please don't think I was putting the 'complete bastard' label on anyone. I was thinking how I've been lucky not the have partners who have stolen from me, beaten me up or abused me in some other way.

[strat]

Oh God please don't think I was putting the 'complete bastard' label on anyone. I was thinking how I've been lucky not the have partners who have stolen from me, beaten me up or abused me in some other way.

No, I wasn't, I was just commenting on what you said!

I've just been largely emotionally unavailable, or on odd occasions, the exact opposite, though that's been many years now.

strat

[InnerPeace]

I put the wall up with people sometimes too...but I don't tend to do it with a partner...I think that's my neediness showing and for some reason it's the love I get back from a boyfriend that I've put the highest value on, hence not shutting that out...boy do I struggle when they shut me out, I posted another thread about how I can't understand how they can do that to someone they love, I know I can't. Maybe it's to do with having been rejected/invalidated by friends and family so I can't trust them...my only trusted source being from a partner. My ability to care, open up etc is strictly divided between boyfriends and everyone else.

Sorry I'm deviating there but posting this is helpful and it doesn't feel appropriate to go in a new thread by itself...or maybe I should. I haven't though so sod it! It's still about over-sensitivity I think anyway.

[Chimpy]

I feel like I must be a HSP because everything seems to effect me and my moods are so transient over the smallest of things. I've spent so many years now dreaming of meeting my perfect partner because she will protect me from the pain inside me and everything will suddenly click into place. Obviously this has never happened because I misrepresent myself to partners as someone that I am not. When they discover who I really am, that attraction evaporates. I told one ex the truth about me and she took it all in, but we don't speak any more because it became obvious I was sapping the life out of her because she became the source for my self esteem. I really don't know what to do, I'm stuck in this awful Catch22.

Sorry, think I've gone a bit off topic here

Mr Chimpy