About Us

[Susan27]

hi again. any chance we could all post an "about me" type response within the BPD Forum? I've tried to go back and read the intro section but thought having an updated post wtihin the BPD area would be really beneficial.

anything anyone wants to share:

name, where you live, living situation, what we suffer from, significant other? typical "week in the life of", do we have hobbies, friends, activities? How we cope? meds? just a summary of ourselves in the mental health sense and also with daily life.

if this is not a good idea, i'm sorry and please let me know. i'd just like a link that's current and gives me and all of us a chance to see a mini-biography of sorts.

let me know if anyone's OK or not OK with this and if we can do this on this post?

thanks all - susan

[Susan27]

Hey, I should've started with the info chain...oops!

I'm Susan

I'm 38 and live in the Boston area.

Graduated from college in 1990 and moved to California where I lived for 11 years

I became aware of myself and started treatment in 1990 after leaving home (it all hit like a bomb) I think prior to that I was just acting it out w/o being consciously aware of any problems or of myself.

i'm currently in therapy with the same T I met in San Franciso. It's been 16 years now. I've been on and off medications over this time. Have GAD and BPD with probably sub things like PTSD. who really knows since they all cross over at times. i have a boyfriend i've known for 5 years now. I don't live with him though. I had my own apartment but had to move back in April 2006 and it was a rushed move so I am temporarily renting the basement apartment in my mom's house. being back at "home" is what probably stirred up a lot of what i'm going thru now. i call it peeling back another layer of the onion... until i finally heal all of these patterns and hopefully, before i die, reach some nice peaceful state of wholeness. that's what i live for. to finally feel whole, peace and filled with love. it's taking a long time. I've made a lot of progress but it feels like there's still so far to go. can this ever even be healed? my T says yes, it's a lengthy process tho and it goes back and forth, little by little seeing, becoming more and more aware, and ultimately accepting my life, my past, making peace with it all and having such love for myself that it just provides that shift in consciousness that will ultimately become a more real self. so, i see it like peeling an onion until i reach my true self. it's such a tough road. there's so much more i could share like the history, etc. but i'll save that for another email when i feel more mentally and emotionally capable of constructing such a bio.

i work full time but have been off for about 3 weeks now working from home since i'm in a sort of crisis period. i've increased my meds temporarily and my therapy sessions until i reach my next comfortable plateau with which i can exist relatively comfortable for a time until the next layer is ready to come off and all hell breaks looks again!

i love swimming but haven't done so for a while since it's gotten colder and i've been a bit consumed with this anxiety period altho i know it would probably help. i try and do some things but was doing much more before the last several weeks. my favorite hobbies are astrology (if anyone is ever interested in letting me practice with their chart i'd love to!!!) (you can fill out your info on my website if you're into that at all and curious. i find it a great tool for psychological understanding..not the hocus pocus stuff of horoscopes but real energy readings) too much info..i'll save that too!

anyway, also love cats. animals are so important to me. love reading spiritual mags and books and for TV I love crime dramas like Cold Case and Without a Trace. also love murder mysteries. (must be all the scorpio in me!) Love romantic comedies too and dramas. Guess I must watch a lot of TV especially when it starts getting colder like it is now.

I love pasta and any Italian food. I'm half Italian and pasta is my biggest comfort food.

i think i've blabbed long enough. more later. i hope some others will join me in this. I'm really curious to get to know you all and I think it would help others who might want this too.

any feedback positive or negative to this idea is surely welcome since I don't know if this is forum-politically correct or not since I'm new.

[Barebones]

my names terri aka barebones. im 35 and i have bpd, ed, anxiety, depression. ive been diagnosed with bpd since my early 20s so its around 10 odd years. i go through bouts of progressing and ive seem to have matured up which my doc has said which i guess is good. i have a daughter and i have to watch what i do ect because of her.

ive been with this forum for near 2 years and i found it supportive and its good to vent frustrations ect and get a understanding response back.

err not sure what else to write i guess i find it hard to write about myself as somtimes i dont make much sense. thats because i dont have much confidence ect so i think ill end it there..

take care all and (((Hugs))) to all.

[Kalini]

Hi Susan

I think this is a good idea for a thread, lots of ppl here seem like they've known each other for ages and it'll take me ages to go back through all the previous threads to find out who's who!

I'm Kalini, 32 (33 soon ( ), I've been over on the abuse forum on and off for the last 18months and I've recently started to come here more because it got lonely there. I dont know much about bpd ond all the other things you guys talk about but I finally went to my doc in June and have been treated for chronic depression since. I started on citalopram but swithed about 5 wks ago to fluoxetine which have just kicked in so I'm having a good wk, though saying that its also been hard because I started psychotherapy this week too so I've been in a bit of a numb, raw, confused, empowered state for the last few days.

I live in Southampton, UK and work as a research scientist. I like socialising, world music, kiting, skating, cycling, hiking, camping, outdoors in general, I watch a lot of movies mainly independant and international and I'm going through a Japan and Korean film phase at the moment. I live in Kenya for a couple of years and I miss it, my name on this forum was given to me by one of the kids there so it always reminds me of her when I logon here. I'm single and share a rented house with 2 others.

That's enough about me!

Kalini

[jai]

Hi susan,

i loved your intro, your hobbies sound v interesting and things that would take your mind off things.

my biopic is nt as full or interesting. At 42, i live with my bf and doggy, am in weekly therapy for GKW, sometimes its bp rapid cycling, with bpd traits, others a mixture of the dsmv depending on the day.

I take two meds, one for pain and one for sleep an anti depressant, im not sure it does anything for my mood but am told it should. Funny that.

Anyhow, i dont work, as i find it hard to be around ppl. I get anxious way too easily.

Mostly i spend my days, walking my doggy, helping out with family stuff when they need me, looking after bf and flat.

I really like the i ching, one of my past obsessions, although i still revisit it from time to time. I used to love reading but have nt for ages. I used to swim but dont go any more. I used to sail in the summers but have nt for at least 7 years now. I love to travel. I am adicted to films.

Aside from that, i also suffer from fybromyalgia, funny feet at times, and chronic abdo pain with ibs.

Mostly i take each day as it comes.

Thats me for now.

thanks for the thread

jai

[Martin]

Great Idea!

I'm Spliffy aka Martin, or is it the other way around?

I'm 33 and 7/12ths, I STILL live with my parents, in Stiffkey on the North Norfolk coast, it's very upper-middle class, but I am working class, but I don't work...

I have BPD, Bi-Polar II, Alcohol problems, Depression, Self-Harm and 2 Cats! Although I seem to be over the worst of what BPD has bought (diagnosed in my early 20's.)

I like playing poker (badly) and football, (soccer to you Susan!).

Blimey, this sounds like a letter you were forced to do to non-existant German pen-pals @ school!

Anyway, Thats about it.....

Spliffy

[DanDown123]

Hey

I'm called Danny, am a single gay man living in east London. Currently run own business (a sandwich coffee bar) with best friend, Peter, who I've known since 1991 when I was at uni.

Live in a two bed council flat that I have to move from, and been in an ongoing battle with Hackney Council for over a year to try and sort it out! When i disappear for a few days it's normally because I am sending them 20 emails a day, all of which get ignored

Dx with BPD in 1997, but pretty much ignored it as saw depression as main prob. Went on sertraline in '98, that has helped a lot. Went from being off sick to volunteering to getting full-time job. Things at work went pear-shaped and Peter was off sick so we thought up this get quick rich scheme!

That was Jan 2003. I still am not rich just knackered and pissed off! but it's the only job have been be able to hold down lol so must have done me some good!

I single handedly keep the (fermented) apple industry and the ready meal market afloat.

I have a few friends and a cat who I neglect and ignore but somehow have managed to hold onto..........tho am sure Scooby will make a run for it if I move to somewhere where he can get out of

Dxx

[kirsty545]

i am kirsty and live in paisley in scotland

i have 2 kids both boys aged 3 ryan and sean aged 1, i have a hubby called thomas and a dog called keira

i have bpd with traits of other things like bi polar etc, but i get medication to treat the symptoms and i am stable now for a while at least anyway,

i enjoy swimming and badminton

and thats me

bye tc xxxxxxxxxxxx

[loopyjen]

Im Jenny and I am 28 I live in Surrey with my hubby Dave and my 3 soon to be 4 yr old daughter Rachel. I have been seeing mental health professionals since I was 17 and have gone through the diagnosis list and am currently holding the bpd diagnosis but for how long who knows! I am just on one antidepressant at the moment called mirtazipine but i am hoping to get it changed. I was attending a college course but I recently dropped out as I started going on a downward spiral I am not currently working and my husband has given up work to be my full time carer because of the hospital admissions i have and somone having to be here to lok after our daughter.

I like to read, play on my computer, draw and paint and horse riding.

well thats me I guess, btw this is a great idea

Jenny

[Susan27]

thanks everyone for agreeing it was a good idea. i didn't want to offend anyone or feel like their privacy was being invaded which is why i figured we could share as much or as little as we want to..or not at all. It's just nice to put something more behind the posts and have them in one central place within BPD.

[amatracey1]

thanks everyone for agreeing it was a good idea. i didn't want to offend anyone or feel like their privacy was being invaded which is why i figured we could share as much or as little as we want to..or not at all. It's just nice to put something more behind the posts and have them in one central place within BPD.

Hi my name is Tracey I am from Enfield I am 40 married with 5 children, I am in college doing counsellling, which I love so much.

I first registered with the survivors forum over a month ago, I over come my

ptsd 5 years ago, and now offer support to other abuse survivor's.

I joined the BPD forum about 3 weeks ago, I don't have bpd, but I really respect everyone so much

I have been made so welcome by every-one here THANK YOU

It is so good that there is a web-site like this were everyone can get together and discuss their own problems, and everyone is so supportive of each other, that is so fantastic.

[Morgan]

I'm Morgan - 26. I'm unemployed at the moment but working hard to fill my life with 'activities' so I have things to fill up the days. I trying and struggling to start DBT at the moment - I've seen different therapists and counsellors since I could do so without my parents being informed. I have problems with anxiety, agoraphobia, social phobia and an eating disorder.

I live with my fiance and our cats. I'm a bit of a bookworm and a film geek. Love the Sopranos, want another tattoo, oh and I am terribley short sighted!

[nettynoodle]

i'm jeanette 41 from west midlands, i have a daughter kat (hates her real name kathleen but her father named her) she's 21, has 2 cats tink and letisha(who thinks she's a dog)

i'm an ex childminder but still do a bit of emergency work cos of health

i have myalgic encephalitis so live with my parents.

have had depression since i was 10 and social phobia and anxiety was recently diagnosed with bpd and dp and am taking antidepressants and having therapy

i'm treasurer and secretary for a local support group which i helped set up for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

i make cards and do a bit of knitting (actually i can only knit scarves and gloves)

i have a dolls house which i am filling up

[InnerPeace]

Wow Susan...I've always thought of this being like an onion too. whenever I think that I think of Shrek describing ogres as being like onions..sorry my mind works in several directions at once sometimes and it's hard to stay on track!

I'm 40...a virgo fire horse with loads of leo thrown in...I love astrology too, must be my moon in aquarius.

I'm divorced, still have a good relationship with my ex and have a 6 year old daughter. I've had a guy sort of in my life for just over a year...he's bi-polar, has had a traumatic past and recently been going through big life changes, he's also a soulmate and we've both been either directly or indirectly helping each other heal amazingly during the time we've known each other...he's nearly at the point of us being able to be together, he lives 200 miles away so it's a tricky one with fears to overcome, ties to break and all sorts...but hopefully we'll get there.

I have a 2 bedroom semi, work full time but was out of work last year for nearly a year and really had to get back down to the basics of what I want to do and what I enjoy doing, I like my job and the people are great for the first time ever. I get to help people in my work and I find it rewarding.

I've always been interested in astrology and psychic development...I have so many cards etc, my grandmother was a medium and with a family full of psychics it's always been second nature. I'd be like "what do you mean you don't see and talk to your dead relatives?" Jai...get those i ching cards out sometime and we'll do swoppies if you like!

I had a breakdown due to a really bad work situation 4 years ago, about the same time I was attuned to reiki and my marriage started to break down too. I was on prozac and met a soulmate shortly after that who saved my life, I probably would have killed myself and maybe taken my daughter with me. Through that relationship I got into crystals and also spiritual healing (I did a 2 year course). I then met a brilliant healer and psychic wo is also a soulmate expert and he became my spiritual guru and friend, he also gave me psychic development tuition too. The healing he gave me 2.5 years ago changed me from apathetic and hating myself to feeling happy, seeing colour in the world and being able to smile at myself in the mirror...it was just huge and it was instant.

I had one training session in crystal healing but didn't like the tutor, I'll go to someone different one day. My house is absolutely full of crystals. A year ago I met another brilliant psychic, this time indirectly because of my current soulmate, who is also a clinical psychologist...I didn't know my guy was bipolar then but the help she has given me has been invaluable and we also now friends...she introduced me to this site, a subtle way of telling me she thought I had BPD! Before I had just believed I was a horrible person and knew something traumatic had happened to me in the past but no one else ever took it seriously so why should I....now I'm really just how much I have had to deal with.

She also suggested counselling as a possible career for me, I mentioned it to my supposed close friend and she said how she was starting a counselling course the following week...so I joined too and did the Introduction to counselling course. Wow...talk about sudden self-awareness, much better than any counselling I'd had myself in the past. Last Jan I started the Certificate in counselling and I'm just about to finish, it's been brilliant.

Last March I learnt how to do Indian head massage and I've now found my way to yet another very spirtual person who is practicing the Metamorphic Technique on me...that is very good too, I can see the changes in myself and it felt so right that I decided to learn it myself even before I tried it...I'm doing that course this weekend.

I've gone for ages! Hope you folks are all still awake! Thanks Susan for suggesting this.

[strat]

Hi, I'm Strat, 49 year old male from north west england, single, self-employed, live and work alone in own house with own Bengal cats ("own" here is debatable) and have own mortgage and car loan. Cycle at least 20 miles 3 times a week (well let's see how winter goes). I have pretty much given up on live, just ticking over.

I have bipolar as my diagnosis, but I've had discussions with my CPN and my Therapist who both think that it's "highly likely" I have a PD as well. I'm going to talk to my pdoctor shortly re BPD. I'm currently applying for DLA which my CPN seems to be getting involved with.

I suffer from severe prolonged bouts of depression with the odd blip of mania thrown in, and most of the symptoms as defined by the DSM list as regards BPD. I first went to a doctor with depression when I was 19 so it's been 30 years and I'm still trying to get some help.

I currently have no friends. Since the break up of my last relationship 5 years ago I've wanted nobody around me, so as a result am prone to loneliness, despite having an attention-seeking nature. I'm also socially phobic and occasionally somewhat agoraphobic. Oh, and I can become incredibly bored. I suffer from night sweats and nightmares, but am so used to them that I rarely notice.

My meds are escitalopram 20mg, priadel 800mg, propolenene (or whatever) 10mg twice a day, and Zimovane 15mg.

There's bound to be more but that's enough for now.

strat

PS feel free to comment, criticise, suggest additions, argue, etc.

[Kalini]

I disagree with one thing Strat, I think you have friends here!

:wub:

[strat]

I disagree with one thing Strat, I think you have friends here!

You are right, but that's in here; I'm grateful for this, it's pretty much my only contact with other people. Out in the real world i don't, it's a hostile place full of pitfalls. I couldn't do the christmas patly for this reason (despite the cost, can't drink, can't dance, can't do karaoke).

Thaks for the thoughts, Kalini!

strat

[Susan27]

anyone else??? there's gotta be more. i really like having these in one place.

don't be shy...we need each other!! i posted a reponse to keep this at the top as so many had said it was helpful..but we need more of you here, if you can.

[InnerPeace]

maybe it's because some people only read the general board!

[Claire]

Hi there,

I am Claire and have been in and out of these boards for a couple of years now (I spent ages trying to think of an online name but couldn't, hence...Claire)

Sometimes I need help sometimes I don't. I refused to take meds for what I have, but starting to wonder if I may need to admit defeat...

I was in care at a very young age, and long term fostered/semi adopted by my parents at the age of approx 4. Lots of problems due to that instability...

(foster) parents are lovely though, lovely, though my Dad died in 2002. Still dealing with that grief.....Mum is still alive though and see her alot

Brother died 5 weeks after my dad, unconnected...still trying to deal with that grief too...not a good year at all

BPD and cyclothymic

I have been living in London with my husband, he works here, I wanted to be with him, but I am starting to spiral downwards again, been teaching post natal fitness, but I am seriously considering chucking it in and returning to our home in Bristol. I don't like London at all....

We are saving money to go travelling for 3 months round south east asia. Can't wait!

[strat]

Hi Claire. Living in London can't be helpful, I'd be the same...

strat

[badger]

I'm Helena or H which is what everyone calls me, 38 married with two cats. Currently living in Madrid because of my work as an aerospace engineer. Was in the RAF for 10 years.

Diagnosed 1 year ago Bipolar, BPD and PTSD.

Had a bit of a crappy childhood, sexually abused for 4 years, dad left when I was 5, mum went out a lot and on holiday a lot and left me at home on my own.

Crap teenage years, more neglect etc.

Joined the RAF, met my first husband who was a violent pyscho, he mentally, physically, sexually abused me and raped me (what a catch he was!). Left him after seven years to be with lovely hubby number two so he killed himself on our wedding anniversary.

Misc other stuff, close friend killed in RAF Hercules shot down in Iraq, another friend killed in car crash, dunno other stuff, I lose track of it all.

And the positive things in my life are that I have a great hubby who has propped me up for the last year, the only reason I was able to continue working was because we work together and he did got me up, fed me, took me to work, and did my job for me. He's crap when it comes to being emotionally supportive but hey you can't have everything.

I also have a really good therapist who has worked her arse off for me this year.

and also recently have found a very good friend who has quite profoundly changed my life, I now know I have some one who understands me and who is there for me and her kindness and thoughtful continuously amazes me.

So that's me

Strat - you definitely have lots of friends here mate!

Badger xx

[strat]

Strat - you definitely have lots of friends here mate!

Thanks, H, I hope you're one of them (just trying to get to your cats)!!

strat (Doug)

[Micheal]

hi again. any chance we could all post an "about me" type response within the BPD Forum? I've tried to go back and read the intro section but thought having an updated post wtihin the BPD area would be really beneficial.

anything anyone wants to share:

name, where you live, living situation, what we suffer from, significant other? typical "week in the life of", do we have hobbies, friends, activities? How we cope? meds? just a summary of ourselves in the mental health sense and also with daily life.

if this is not a good idea, i'm sorry and please let me know. i'd just like a link that's current and gives me and all of us a chance to see a mini-biography of sorts.

let me know if anyone's OK or not OK with this and if we can do this on this post?

thanks all - susan

Hi Susan this is a great idea i think and i really enjoyed reading everybody's posts just now

My name is Mike, i'm 35 and single, live with my friend's mum in SW London (I rent but we are best

mates).

I have quite a bit of trouble with depression, and i have always felt high social anxiety since at least

my earliest memories. I had a big nervous breakdown at 21 which the psych called Shellshock after

a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with a girl that lasted about a year (she undoubtedly had

some pds on the go but i didn't know about such things at the time). I was a battered boyfriend as opposed

to battered wife which i gather is rarer but not uncommon, and i don't mean battered like fish in a chip

shop. I had emotional vulnerability from earlier childhood experiences and possibly was born kind of anxious, possibly cos my mum had post-natal depression and wanted to give me away and stuff. It's an

understatement to say mental health problems run in my family.

I developed full-blown OCD after the breakdown which became chronic. In my late 20s I started to

become more generally aware of what my mind and life was like in relation to others who seemed to

function better than me, and I had some good help here from the NHS. Actually i don't really want to

write anymore health stuff cos it's depressing me and it's boring isn't it u all know how it goes.

Anyhow i've started to be able to at least entertain myself at home a bit now, i got into artsy things

and lately a bit of maths and stuff. I slowly and with much bravery crept into the world of art college

a couple of years ago and i'm just about to start a foundation part-time. I don't work at the mo i was

working but i cracked up again.

I got involved in the bpd website cos i had read some stuff on pds on the web and was amazed to find

how much of about 3 or 4 of them (DSM stuff) fitted me. I'd reached the 'untreatable' end of the OCD

NICE guidelines and i think the reason was that i had underlying personality disorder which i needed to

try to fix, as opposed to the OCD alone, which i see as more a symptom of the pds now. The psychologist

i was seeing didn't diagnose pds though cos they don't do that and i couldn't be arsed to go through the

psychiatrist assessment and psychologist implied u can come up against prejudice in the NHS and

workplace if u have pds (it's bad enough with OCD/depression so i didn't want anymore). I've

encountered prejudice towards me all my life and this is one reason why i am now physically a very

insular person (the other reasons are that i became aware of how unhappy in company i was and just

role-playing, that i started to be able to at least gain some enjoyment through solitary pursuits, plus i

just naturally seemed to start going that way in my early 30s. I also seem to have quite a lot of trouble

with noise now and often have to get away into my room which is kind of odd cos i wasn't ever really

like that b4).

Everything trying to eat each other in nature really gets me down and i generally see the universe as

being an accident which would necessarily happen due to its apparent unlikeliness (which I was

recently surprised to hear Thom Yorke alluding to on his Eraser album though Radiohead are generally

the muts nuts).

As i'm such a vulnerable show-off here's yet another poem by me. It's a bit rough and sounds like

a mimic of ted hughes a bit but there we are:

I was wondering about black holes

before bump - I was out.

Passing Alldays (which is now the Co-op).

We’d just viewed a flat.

I remember this: those small days.

In Surbiton, sometimes in Sundays,

there were hangovers. And snails.

So I was wondering: about black holes.

You know, things that I could put in one?

Or another. Like bananas, or baguettes. Biscuits?

:D

[Murdock]

Wonderful Idea,

I am an Engineer, not working at the moment because of my condition. Am studying councelling at the moment although its a bit o fa struggle. I have BPD, Clinical Depression and Anxiety. My Therapist is fantastic and puts up with a great deal.

I live with my partner and am so greatful, how she tollerates me I will never know. Am very low at the minute and back fighting the s/h urges, seeing Therapist this pm ,thank god.

I have two cats , or do they own me?????

I love walking , TV, Movies ,when I can concentrate. I do volunteering for a local charity(leeds).

Spend most of my time on the PC. Am realy happy I found this site and you guys.

Don't have many friends, or is that any? Find that most people don't want to know me, all through my life anything that was ever important left, dissapeared or was taken from me! so my trust is non existant.

Was abused in many ways by many peeps all through my childhood and into adolescence. Don't like Phsychiatrists with a passion! drug pushers is all they are. Cannot think of anything else, if i do i will post again.

Once again great idea.

TC to all

Murdock :blink: