So Do You Like Being Ill

[JTBadBug]

7 pages do you feel better for writing it all down? it usually does me good to write.

Anyway...good luck with streamlining the letter. and your complaint.

Isn't it just so sad that so many people can't / don't except that some people have problems that can't be seen or touched and more often than not can't be discussed, they have no concept of what it can be like to be stuck in a mental black hole without a torch.

[paddypotty]

once I start writing I just go on and on,I will definitely have to streamline it not just cos of its length but also because it was a tad insulting too.

Patricia

[kissprudence]

Hi everyone,

This is all so sad, isn't it? What it all boils down to is the fact that this is what we call a "dog eat dog" world. The strong don't give a damn about the weak.

I'm very interested in the evolutionary determinants of animal and human behaviour, and it's surprisingly relevent when you look closely. In nature, a herd can only move as fast as it's slowest members will allow. In nature, the old, the weak, the sick and the injured, get picked off by predators, enabling the herd to keep moving at the pace they need to. Predators will try to get a meal, whilst expending as little energy as possible. Therefore, it makes sense that predators are designed to look out for the vulnerable, and attack them. It isn't fair or kind, but that's the way it is.

Where does all this fit in with us?

Humans are supposed to be different from animals - more advanced. Humans are supposed to have compassion for the weak, to show kindness to those who are less fortunate than them, to protect those who are vulnerable, and most importantly, to honour these responsibilities. These values are not natural to humans. We are not born with them - we have to learn them.

Society has changed. These old-fashioned, decent and honourable values are in rapid decline. They are of no use to a capitalist, consumerist society. Humans are now being taught to discard their honour. Instead, they are encouraged to satisfy their most animal instincts. Everything now is "Me! Me! Me!", which is very dangerous.

What I can't understand, is that if the government are no longer willing to take care of people who are weak, sick, old or vulnerable, what actually separates humans from animals now? The mentally ill are clearly considered to be slowing the herd down. So are the old, the sick, the disabled and the weak.

If you'll pardon my language, the world is now rewarding the fuckers and the fighters. How exactly does that constitute a civilised society?

The world is regressing, despite the insistance of those in charge that we are living in a progressive society. Where can any of it possibly lead?

Sorry about the rant. It isn't all that cheerful and I apologise if I've depressed you all!

KP

xx

[sundries]

Im just never going to understand how people with mental health problems are at one end viewed as having nothing wrong with htem apart from being lazy and needing to pull themselves together,

and on the other deeply dangerous, completely out of control and unable to live without medication. its like when htey want to lock us up then we are incapable and when htey want to save htemselves money we have nothig wrong with us except laziness. fuck htem thats all i can say.

Haivng read this thread i brough up with my soical worker things hte crisi team had said/ done in the past.

I told her htey had said i was manipulative, blackmailing and attention seeking and following a serious OD that i was 'wasting their time'

Her response was to tel me that 'oh well maybe they were taking hte more maternal approach' (wtf?)

'sometiems it works with people to say, come on now pull yourself together, some people like that - obviously it doesnt work with you but everyones style is different'

I asked her who exactly wouold view being told they were manipulative nad blackmailing as motherly. nd she just said 'oh well not everything works with every9one. they were probably just trying a maternal approach' (i expect she was thinking , oh client not listening lets just us broken record (or IMO thick social worker method)

When i asked again, 'well do you think it is reasoable or helthy to ask for help from peole who say things like that?' she then started on the whole ' well, can you think of any ways you may have contributed?'

aaaaaaaarrrrrrrgggggh

[Antari2012]

I never intended to be ill, and the benefits of being ill in no way whatsoever outweigh the bad side of it, but I do have the few things I like.

A tragedy of mine lies in the fact that I have no set opinion or care. Everything in my life is split. I became addicted to my pain, emotional and physical, long ago, yet I absolutely despise the pain at the same time. I hate it so much, but I can't live without suffering. I am pain, so to have no pain, means to destroy myself.

I love my suffering, I love my tragedy.

I hate my suffering, I hate my tragedy.

I love to hate everything I love.

I hate to love everything I hate.

That's my whole life, loving and hating, back and forth, every single day, never stable, never decided, never escaping.

[wednesday]

No I don't like being ill.

[Murdock]

Something along these lines has hapenned to me a couple of times. Firstly I was on Incapacity Benefit for a while after finally admitting I can't work then I got sent to an assessment centre where the DWP get a 'doctor' to see how unfit or not you are for work. I told him about my problems and I got a letter back from the DWP saying I had been found fit for work. I asked for a report and the doc said that my anxiety and depression was mild and did not significantly effect me in any way. he also denied that I have any physical disabilities in spite of the fact I brought a letter from my specialist to prove it with me. It took six months to sort it out but it was finally reinstated. I then spoke to a so called friend about it and she said 'well I'd agree with him...if I was running the country people with mental illnesses wouldn't get any benefits at all I'd save the money for people woth real problems. I kid you not. That is what she said.

Give her a slap from me please.

Murdock

Grrrrrrrrrrr

[kissprudence]

Hi everyone!

Got a hot tip for you! My CPN told me this! If you ever have to fill in forms for the benefits office, or if you approach your doctor about getting an appointment with a mental health proffessional, always tell them about your worst possible day as a person with mental health issues! My CPN says this is vital, especially for people with BPD! She said that a lot of people with BPD want to please everyone, so they walk into the doctor's surgery looking cheerful and well presented, when inside they feel like dying. Of course, all the doctors know is what you tell them! They are not trained to read between the lines. So it's important to let them know how you are on a REALLY bad day! Even if you're ashamed of it, you have to get across how bad you feel, otherwise they'll never do anything about it.

Another thing that's worth telling them, is if you've ever hurt yourself or other people. That usually makes them start to take things seriously. Obviously I'm NOT telling anyone to lie or exaggerate! I just mean, don't withhold information because you're embarressed or something. If they realise how serious the situation is, they are more likely to do something.

Hope that might help someone!

Take care,

KP

xx

[paddypotty]

Sent the letter,waiting for the poop to explode.

Patricia

[paddypotty]

have appointment on 4th January,shitting myself.

Patricia

[kissprudence]

Good luck Patricia!

Try to visualise yourself staying calm and collected during your meeting. Preparation is very important if you are feeling nervous or apprehensive. Make some notes on the points you would like to make. When you are in your meeting, refer back to your notes often. This will help you to stay focused.

I know what you mean about the ranting! I find it very hard to stay on one subject and I end up talking at one hundred miles an hour, jumping from one topic to another with rapid speed! It's because we get an immense rush of adrenalin if something is upsetting for us to talk about. This is where your notes will help you. Keep looking at them, and stay on track. This will help you to control the adrenalin rushes, because you will know where you are headed in the conversation. It's a way of setting a boundary for yourself which will keep you safe and make you feel more secure.

Remember also Patricia, that you are perfectly justified in making this complaint. You were not treated with the compassion, sympathy and seriousness which you deserved. Try not to turn it into an attack on the person concerned. Even though you are well within your rights to feel angry, it is better to keep it proffessional. I am saying this mainly for your sake - you will become very upset and that will add to the distress you feel already. Try to stay calm and detached. Explain how you feel that this person mishandled the situation, and why it isn't appropriate for someone to say such things to a person who is suffering acute emotional distress. Especially in a crisis situation!

For what it's worth, I have faith in you and I believe that you are going to handle this meeting admirably! Go get 'em girl!

Okay Patricia, I hope you are feeling well and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

Take care,

KP

xx

[paddypotty]

appoinment tomorrow morning at 10.30am,I am truelly shitting myself,I thought maybe they would send me a letter not a meeting,do I go pissed and high as a kite or do I go normal/forty shades of grey with my face dragging along behind me.

I am scared,really scared,Im afraid they wont believe me,Im afraid they will use my diagnosis against me,generally Im just shitting myself.

Patricia

[gingernut]

Paddy I would advise going in there in a sober state and if possible I would take in a copy of the letter and possibly some thoughts written down that you would like to mention so you dont forget them.

Try and go in with your head held high and I hope it goes really well for you, you deserve it

Ginger

[mentalbpd]

i hate being ill it stops me doing the things i like doimng sometimes and my depression can kill me but im luicky i have a gopod doc and cpn but i agree somepeople juat have no idea do they whats it like to be us sometimes i would give my right arm to have a week not to feel likle this

[paddypotty]

I think Im confused or living in another world.

I went to the mental health offices certain this was in connection with my complaint,however(even though I was told my next psych appointment wasnt until late Feb/early March) it was an appoinment with psych,they upped my meds again,referred me for counselling for sexual abuse issues and did their best not to mention any complaint.

Im totally confused,previously they told me there was a two year waiting list and now they are pushing it on me,seriously odd day.

Patricia

[gingernut]

So basically they pushed for your therapy in case you caused any trouble?

This is good news Paddy well done for complaining.

Ginger

[paddypotty]

I dont know Joanne,I havent a clue really,Im glad for the option of counselling but nothing was discussed about my complaint,theres a number on the letter Im going to give it a ring tomorrow,maybe I am really confused.

Patricia

[paddypotty]

as regards this complaint apparantly they just give me a psych review,the complaint can take up to twenty days to be processed and they will contact me at home.

Patricia

[rebeccaborderline]

Patricia,

Just caught up with this thread, v interesting stuff in here. Good on you for following through with the complaint; make them put any response in writing. And although maybe not the most moral way to bump you up the therapy list, who cares?! Its worked, they obviously feel that you need it, and you deserve better treatment anyway.

Ive an ongoing complaint about treatment of MH peeps in local A & E, after 9 years of being treated poorly, and someones stalling, suspect its the PALs office.

I had a very upsetting comment from a member of the Crisis team one night in A & E; possibly resentful to be called out by a mere S/Her on a busy night. He basically said that there are a lot of people who self-harm who dont ever come to the attention of the MH services; the implication being that I should just get on with it if thats the way I was inclined, and not bother the professionals with my own petty injuries (which were severe and always are). I too was too stunned to respond; unfortunately this has coloured the way I view the Crisis team, in case they all secretly think this, so I usually refuse any contact with them.

Keep us informed Patricia; you go girl!

rebeccaborderline

[Trace]

Who are "us"? I think we are all individuals and our cases need to be treated as such. My first thought is why did the original question "stick"? I to have suffered with mental illness all my life and have struggled in employment. Not so much now but when younger.

Being ill for me was always my comfort blanket, so yes I was getting something from it. But my motivation to "recover" (yes that dirty word) was stronger and very slowly I am. By forcing myself to get up and work, abeit P/T , I can manage to pay for private Therapy and am recovering.

Going to work each day is a struggle. Raising my family is a struggle, not just for people like myself but for the general population at times. I can sit and post on a website all day about "woe is me" and how done by I am or I could look at what is possible for me too achieve. I am not my illness.

Sometimes its those with "mental illness" that gives those with "mental illness" a bad reputation.

Please be advised, the reader is responsible for their reactions to my words.

[rebeccaborderline]

I see your point Trace, although I think its a bit harsh. I sometimes feel solely defined by abuse, addiction and illness; these things have formed the person I am and I would be a different person without their impact. And yes, sometimes its difficult to "want to become well"; I feel I have no idea what "well" is; I feel its not possible, as I am too warped, diseased and corrupted. However I continue to strive.

Its the "incidentals" that come along with illness that can make our lives so much harder than necessary, compared to the general population; in my case, job loss, with resulting loss of self-esteem and financial security; Sections, leading to eviction and relocation to a rough place where i know nobody; loss of family, as I struggle to confront 30 years of lies and secrecy; loss of friends as I change my environment to overcome adddiction. Shall I go on? Of course the general population have difficult lives too; but they often will have a safety network of home, work, family, friends to cushion bad blows.

This site is for people with a mental illness to communicate, receive support and have a voice; saying "woe is me" is an essential part of this I think, not necessarily a self-indulgent wallowing in self-pity but a need to express our daily lives and be responded to; much like therapy really. And sometimes, we will move on; but please dont deny us the process

rebeccaborderline

[Trace]

I dont deny anyone the process of recovery. But I didn't find this thread to hold much processing. I won't enable, I will support, but only when something is being looked at rationally. You forget I am one of "YOU" I am not an outsider looking in. So I know about the route off recovery. I know about processing. Maybe the original response to the original question could be classed as harsh? There's talking about our mental illness and there's using it like a badge of honour, something I wont be part off.

[paddypotty]

My diagnosis is not my badge of honour nor would I want it to be.

In spite of my condition I have worked,I do look after my children and helped care for my father for a long time prior to his death,I dont wallow in my illness.

This thread was started solely because I had an experience that was humiliating,I felt the need to discuss it here because it felt like a safe place to do so.I think I have looked at the situation rationally and made a valid complaint.

Other than that all I can suggest is that if the post offend dont read it,you are entitled to your opinion but likewise I am entitled to my opinion and the right to discuss a situation that was both distressing and unfair.

Patricia

[lucy]

I will support, but only when something is being looked at rationally.

Somtimes it is hard to see things rationally, and you need help in seeing the different perspetive

[paddypotty]

Sorry Lucy but are you suggesting Im not rational in complaining?

Patricia