Will I Go Crazy?

[Lauren]

So, will I go crazy?

Which question are you asking?

A. Will I suddenly break down and feel unable to cope with my kids, my boss, or whatever, any more? Not if you get rest, take vacations, and/or confide in your friends or a counselor when you need to. You cannot change your genes, but you can change your lifestyle.

B. Will I suddenly become a schizophrenic or a manic depressive and have to be locked up in a mental hospital? Whoa! Let's break that down:

1. You don't suddenly become a schizophrenic or a manic-depressive. Either you are born with schizophrenic or manic-depressive vulnerability genes or you are not.

2. Will I suddenly find out that I have the vulnerability genes? If you have the genes you will find out only if your life stressors exceed your stress tolerance level.

3. Can the police hospitalize me involuntarily? The current law (It can be changed.) in most states is very strict about this. You cannot be committed to a psychiatric institution against your will unless you pose a clear and present danger to:

yourself, that is, you have told somebody that you are thinking of killing yourself or have actually made a suicide attempt, or at least have seriously hurt yourself.

or others, that is, you have seriously hurt somebody or threatened somebody with serious harm.

Even if you are dangerous, a psychologist or psychiatrist must sign a form before you can be hospitalized. Besides that, the law sets limits on how long you can be kept in the hospital involuntarily.

C. You still have not answered my question. I'm under 30. My husband, my boss, my kids, are all driving me crazy. I can't change my lifestyle. I want to know if I'm about to find out I'm vulnerable to mental illness -- the hard way. Unfortunately, the hard way is the only way; I can't tell you for sure. But I don't think you have the vulnerability genes. Here's why:

A vulnerable mind represses (pushes into the background) the tension that results from a stressful life. That means, much of the time, you don't actually feel tense. But the repressed tension builds up in your mind and may explode into psychiatric problems.

You have told me that you feel very stressed out and concerned that you might go crazy. So, chances are, your mind is letting out your tension; that's why you can feel it. That's healthy; you are probably not going to develop psychiatric symptoms.

Ironically, the more aware you are of your tension, the less you have to worry about. The people who have been hospitalized as serious dangers to themselves or others tend to have little or no understanding of their illness.

D. My stress comes out in the form of depression. That IS a mental illness. And depression is no fun. But if you see a therapist and deal with your depression now, you are likely to keep yourself from developing more serious psychiatric symptoms, or even suicidal thoughts, later.

E. My friends say I'm a weird duck. Do I have a serious mental illness? I can't answer that. But neither can they. Only a psychiatrist can diagnose mental illness.

F. Can you look at people (or yourself) and see symptoms of mental illness? No chance. Only a psychiatrist can diagnose mental illness, and even a psychiatrist is guessing part of the time.

First, there's no way of walking, no way of talking that means that somebody is "mentally ill." Why not? Because there's no such dichotomy: mentally ill vs. "not mentally ill." So you can't "go crazy", i.e., suddenly go from "not mentally ill" to mentally ill.

We're all potentially mentally ill. And that's great, because it means that there are no bad people. We're all good, and we all might need help some time.

Second, heaven knows what signs and symptoms psychiatrists look for when diagnosing people; they're not telling. Some people call folks who act "nerdy" or "uncool" "mentally ill." That's not the psychiatrists' criterion. Any non-psychiatrist who tries to play psychiatrist this way is prejudiced.

G. If I do have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, and break down one day, I'll know it, right? It will just take control of me and make me do whatever it wants. No. Mental illness cannot make you kill somebody or do some other awful thing. Whether you like it or not, you are going to be you, all your life. That's whether you are drunk, hypnotized, locked in a sensory deprivation tank, or experiencing a psychotic episode. If you would never kill anybody, you will never kill anybody while under the influence of anything.

Your body's chemical makeup may or may not give you a low stress tolerance level. But whatever your stress tolerance level is, the main thing determining what you actually do will not be your chemical makeup. You are controlled mainly by the kind of person you are. And nothing, not even a psychotic breakdown, can change the kind of person you are.

[Amy]

((((Lorna))))

I have wondered these same things about myself, especially if I was going to go crazy and just not know it. I have 3 children, I worry one day everything will fall apart and I will lose the ability to care for them. Up to this point even with all of my issues, I am able to care for them. My husband helps out alot. I don't know how understanding he is of my illnesses, but he is supportive. He recently had an appointment with my therapist without me to gain more insight. I have a thread on this forum called "how many dx's" It goes into the fact that not only do I have BPD, but I also have other dx's as well. During the course of that thread I also found out I am bipolar II rapid cycling. (my first dx of manic depression was at age 12, but no follow up). I turned 31 in October.

My grandfather was schizophrenic, at my last pdoc appointment she said the symptoms I was describing could mean a small chance of me being schizophrenic. BUT I'm not following the typical pattern, so she feels it is unlikely. My therapist agrees that I'm not. But it did turn out that I'm bipolar in addition to having BPD. Plus a few other things.

If you truley feel you are ever a threat to yourself or to someone else, you must go to the hospital. Here in the states, that means a 2-5 day stay until they get a working med adjustment. I don't fear the hospital at all, its there to help. I really believe that.

Once I felt I was in fact losing my mind, not too long ago. I looked online for nervous breakdowns, anything, looking for symptoms. I didn't know what to do. I knew I didn't feel right. It ended up passing within a day or so, but it scared me. My therapist said I should have called her. So if anything like that ever happens, call someone. Pdoc, just someone. I have asked people on another forum about breakdowns (or what you would like to call it) they woke in the hospital with no memory of what happened. My aunt ended up in a mental hospital for a while. I don't know her dx's, but she didn't remember the events leading up to her being taken there. We have to be in tune with ourselves and call when we don't feel right. I know we are on a rollercoaster often, yet we would notice something different. During the time I was looking up symptoms for the breakdown, for instance, I almost *felt* unable to speak. (I actually could, it is really hard to explain, that wasn't all)

Just please know, your questions are asked by many. Remeber though, its a fear, I feel that no matter the dx's you may end up with (you may not end up with those you fear the most). Times have greatly changed, these illnesses are managable now and not as scarey like they were years ago. Hang in there. I understand and I'm here for you anytime.

Love

Amy

[Daisy]

Thats a very good, intersting piece of writing.

Thankyou for sharing it, im sure thier are SO many people out thier with those questions and things similar.....opening others eyes to reality about Mental Illness is a good thing.

Tx

Daisy.

[verbena]

We have some of the most interesting, best informed, generous people I have ever met as members here...lucky us.

[Amy]

I completely read this wrong before. I'm sorry. I thought YOU were asking this.

I need to pay more attention.

Amy

[Lauren]

No worrys amy hun.

I should of put the questions into bold to make things a little clearer.

Ver,

You say the sweetest things.

L

xxx

[LadyMacbeth]

In response to this posting...Can someone tell me what is schizophrenia? I have read about it but I would like to know if it just develops. I heard that my real grandfather who I do not see had it and I am afraid I may get it.

So, will I go crazy? 

Which question are you asking?

A. Will I suddenly break down and feel unable to cope with my kids, my boss, or whatever, any more? Not if you get rest, take vacations, and/or confide in your friends or a counselor when you need to. You cannot change your genes, but you can change your lifestyle.

B. Will I suddenly become a schizophrenic or a manic depressive and have to be locked up in a mental hospital? Whoa! Let's break that down:

1. You don't suddenly become a schizophrenic or a manic-depressive. Either you are born with schizophrenic or manic-depressive vulnerability genes or you are not.

2. Will I suddenly find out that I have the vulnerability genes? If you have the genes you will find out only if your life stressors exceed your stress tolerance level.

3. Can the police hospitalize me involuntarily? The current law (It can be changed.) in most states is very strict about this. You cannot be committed to a psychiatric institution against your will unless you pose a clear and present danger to:

yourself, that is, you have told somebody that you are thinking of killing yourself or have actually made a suicide attempt, or at least have seriously hurt yourself.

or others, that is, you have seriously hurt somebody or threatened somebody with serious harm.

Even if you are dangerous, a psychologist or psychiatrist must sign a form before you can be hospitalized. Besides that, the law sets limits on how long you can be kept in the hospital involuntarily.

C. You still have not answered my question. I'm under 30. My husband, my boss, my kids, are all driving me crazy. I can't change my lifestyle. I want to know if I'm about to find out I'm vulnerable to mental illness -- the hard way. Unfortunately, the hard way is the only way; I can't tell you for sure. But I don't think you have the vulnerability genes. Here's why:

A vulnerable mind represses (pushes into the background) the tension that results from a stressful life. That means, much of the time, you don't actually feel tense. But the repressed tension builds up in your mind and may explode into psychiatric problems.

You have told me that you feel very stressed out and concerned that you might go crazy. So, chances are, your mind is letting out your tension; that's why you can feel it. That's healthy; you are probably not going to develop psychiatric symptoms.

Ironically, the more aware you are of your tension, the less you have to worry about. The people who have been hospitalized as serious dangers to themselves or others tend to have little or no understanding of their illness.

D. My stress comes out in the form of depression. That IS a mental illness. And depression is no fun. But if you see a therapist and deal with your depression now, you are likely to keep yourself from developing more serious psychiatric symptoms, or even suicidal thoughts, later.

E. My friends say I'm a weird duck. Do I have a serious mental illness? I can't answer that. But neither can they.  Only a psychiatrist can diagnose mental illness.

F. Can you look at people (or yourself) and see symptoms of mental illness? No chance. Only a psychiatrist can diagnose mental illness, and even a psychiatrist is guessing part of the time.

First, there's no way of walking, no way of talking that means that somebody is "mentally ill." Why not? Because there's no such dichotomy: mentally ill vs. "not mentally ill." So you can't "go crazy", i.e., suddenly go from "not mentally ill" to mentally ill.

We're all potentially mentally ill. And that's great, because it means that there are no bad people. We're all good, and we all might need help some time.

Second, heaven knows what signs and symptoms psychiatrists look for when diagnosing people; they're not telling. Some people call folks who act "nerdy" or "uncool" "mentally ill." That's not the psychiatrists' criterion. Any non-psychiatrist who tries to play psychiatrist this way is prejudiced.

G. If I do have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia, and break down one day, I'll know it, right? It will just take control of me and make me do whatever it wants. No. Mental illness cannot make you kill somebody or do some other awful thing. Whether you like it or not, you are going to be you, all your life. That's whether you are drunk, hypnotized, locked in a sensory deprivation tank, or experiencing a psychotic episode. If you would never kill anybody, you will never kill anybody while under the influence of anything.

Your body's chemical makeup may or may not give you a low stress tolerance level. But whatever your stress tolerance level is, the main thing determining what you actually do will not be your chemical makeup. You are controlled mainly by the kind of person you are. And nothing, not even a psychotic breakdown, can change the kind of person you are.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Lauren]

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