Laziness And Bpd

[Brooke]

Guys,

Do you get accused of being lazy?

I sleep a lot (partly to get away from my depression), I am not a particularly disciplined person though I do okay at work and I don't like housework at all.

I get the impression that other people think that I am a lazy cow who just can't "pull herself together".

There is this one person at work that I don't really get on with very well and I get the impression that she judges me a bit.

Anyone had the same issues? What are some of the alternative view points that you tell yourself to stop feeling so crap?

Brooke

[jai]

Brooke

Yes i get told i am lazy, i have all my life in fact! Sleep has always been my way out or away from difficult situations. I began taking naps from my teenage years and still feel like i need to during the day now! although since my meds it has been slightly less of an occurance.

It feels about the crappiest thing on earth, mine comes from my family, always has really. My folks will call and say what a busy time they've had, at 70 they make me look like a hundred year old! I always feel guilty and my mum especially will make pointed remarks about how little i do.

I dont know the easy answer to this, i just know it hurts. Especially when ppl dont know you have mh probs and even if they did, they would most likely still not understand.

I guess we all just have to toughen up to those who really dont have a clue !

Please dont let this one person bring you down, you are not alone and we all need our down time here, its the one thing all of us understand.

jai

[aylaah]

omg yes yes yes yes and yes

I also have just been diagnosed with CFS, and the amount of people now coming out wanting to help me and admitting now that they 'know' i'm not being lazy, they want to do all sorts of things - hire me a cleaner, mum has my kids 'until i can be normal again' (her words - basically until i develop a more healthy routine - a few weeks at most though), fix my car so i don't get into a situation where i have to walk, etc.

But before this - and before cfs though to a lesser extent, yes. I was considered lazy by everyone who didn't know my mental condition.

[Micheal]

Yes all those sorts of things but often people aren't brave enough to say it directly to my face.

Aylaah your photo makes u look so calm and kind of 'deep' (which i'm sure u are) that i can't imagine anyone ever managing to rattle you!

I presume its you and not just a cover :D

[aylaah]

aww thank you

Yeah it is me, at about 4am one morning, lol. But my home is my sanctuary, I am calm here, I don't tend to get rattled within it. But trust me I get super-rattled at times, lol.

[Micheal]

Well u've got that deep soul look and me likes, u look trustworthy, a good friend type :)

[InnerPeace]

If anyone regards me as lazy it's my sister...must be something she recognises in hereself but can't accept! My mother knows how hard it is to get motivated so amazingly I don't get that from her.

I sometimes have to make a list of the things I have to do, the numbers I have to call and prioritise it. That breaks the tasks down so I can cope with them better. Just doing that is a job in itself so I put it to one side until I feel able to pick up the list and start working through it.

We need sleep in order for our bodies to heal themselves, our hormones to be regulated etc. If we didn't need the sleep we wouldn't be able to do it.

I'm also aware of people thinking I'm lazy when actually I'm avoiding doing something because I'm afraid of failure. I get that happening at work and in social settings. I'm just too afraid to do things in case I get it wrong or people think I'm not doing it right...I'm scared of being judged and criticised (that's because of my mother!).

[kindofblue7]

Guys,

Do you get accused of being lazy?

I sleep a lot (partly to get away from my depression), I am not a particularly disciplined person though I do okay at work and I don't like housework at all.

I get the impression that other people think that I am a lazy cow who just can't "pull herself together".

There is this one person at work that I don't really get on with very well and I get the impression that she judges me a bit.

Anyone had the same issues? What are some of the alternative view points that you tell yourself to stop feeling so crap?

Brooke

Guys,

Do you get accused of being lazy?

I sleep a lot (partly to get away from my depression), I am not a particularly disciplined person though I do okay at work and I don't like housework at all.

I get the impression that other people think that I am a lazy cow who just can't "pull herself together".

There is this one person at work that I don't really get on with very well and I get the impression that she judges me a bit.

Anyone had the same issues? What are some of the alternative view points that you tell yourself to stop feeling so crap?

Brooke

Hi Brooke....yeh, of course we seem lazy....nobody without 1st-hand experience can have a clkue how crippling this can be.....Take care....WE believe you! Graham, UK x

[jai]

inner

i felt like i could have written your reply.

yes the lists. I make them for the week and cross things off as the days pass, i dont make them for each day, just generally make sure they all are done by friday! it works for me, and means i get time to rest if i do more one day!

this is not lazy it is highly organised if you ask me.

Brooke i hope we have helped you feel a lil better about the Lazy issue.

Tell whoever says it to see me, i ll explain and put them to sleep at the same time to prove the point!!

lol

jai

x

[eterri]

I have been called lazy for years! The stupidest thing is that when I really want to do something and I get in the right mood, I am anything BUT lazy. I tend to go all out on projects but when the mood shifts, I'm worthless. Of course, all that people see is the worthless side. I guess I do show it more though.

[Brooke]

Eterri

That is so true. I can get so focused on something and work myself hard to complete it and then at other times I am hopeless.

Brooke

[eterri]

It's so frustrating, isn't it? There are days (tons of them, unfortunately) where I know there are things I NEED and even want to do but I just can't make myself do them. Lately, if I try to force it, I get sick. I'm not sure what's up with that, but it's discouraging to say the least.

Have you ever wished you had a more physical problem to give you the excuse to take some time and be "lazy?" Sometimes I just wish I looked sick so people would take how I feel seriously. Anyone can understand physical sickness, but no one can grasp this unless they're going through it. :(

[folder]

It's not just others that call me lazy, I've been calling myself lazy for a while now! But I guess that's me rationalising why I haven't managed to get myself into any worthwhile career yet (not knowing what your goals are and having no confidence is not being lazy). With more domestic matters, I'm always putting stuff off and rarely get round to doing things and I can't even explain why. Well, I can actually, laziness. I think. I'm certainly not a lazy person and am very active, but as soon as there's something I need to do, I can't do it. I'll call it chore-block. Or is it laziness...

I even made a list the other day of things I've put off too long (I've never made a list in my life) but I binned it

I'm still confused about this matter, but if I've to take a guess, it's that I hate coming out of my comfort zone (of whatever activities) to do something else. It might just be laziness though...

[rebeccaborderline]

I can get super-productive when feeling "well", do lots of things at once, and well; this helped me a lot in my career. But last few years, if i have a day like that, its followed by several days of not being able to do anything, i kind of grind to a halt. At times this means running out of food coz just cant get to corner shop, or having food and throwing it away coz i couldnt get the energy to cook it.

Sleep; i have always needed more than the average, around 10 hours a day minimum to function.

Housework; I can not abide, and apart from washing up, washing i just dont; i live on benefits but budget to have someone to come and clean occasionally, whilst I scarper. I cannot bear the noise of the hoover, it really bothers me.

rebeccaborderline

[InnerPeace]

I'm very up and down in my energy levels, sometimes I just can't face doing things so I have to manage with what food I have or whatever. My mother says that housework will always wait for you and that's true, if I can't handle the thought of doing the whole house I'll just do the dusting or the vacuuming so it's a bit better. Other times I just go mad and do the lot but sometimes I have to stop myself because it gets so that I see one thing to do, then another, then another and there's no way I can handle all of it. I tend to push myself and keep going just to get it done and totally knock myself out when I should take breaks. I'm pretty much all or nothing with everything but I have to have the energy surge first.

I'm like that at work too, will have a really productive day then days after that when I'm slow and can't get going.

[kissprudence]

Hi Brooke,

Yes, I get the impression that I must seem lazy and hopelessly ineffective sometimes, but I could be judging myself more harshly than anyone else would!

I am aware that sometimes I can be full of nervous energy, but I tend to use it all up on silly things like alphabetising everything I own! At other times, especially when I know I have a lot to do, my mind just dies on me and I can't make my body do what it's supposed to! It's weird. I can be sitting amongst the most awful chaos and know that I am meant to be sorting it out, but it's as though I can't actually move. Bizarre!

I tend to not stress about it too much these days, because I know that it just adds to my problem. Accepting how you are is a great step forward. Loads of people are genuinely lazy and unmotivated, whereas you have an illness that seriously hampers your progress sometimes. It's understandable.

Try not to worry too much about it. People say stupid things sometimes. I don't think they even really mean it a lot of the time. They're just frustrated with their own lives.

If you need a lot of sleep, then make sure you get it honey! There's no crime in meeting your own needs. In fact, it's very important!

Take care,

KP

xx

[lloydy]

hi brooke,

i don't know if others think that i'm lazy or not but i am often embarrassed by my lack of motivation.

most days i just want to lay on the sofa so i consider myself lazy. i am not comfortable laying around if the kids are off college for hols etc as i feel that they will be judging me and that i'm setting a bad example.

i can't explain it but like some of the others i sometimes find an amazing amount of energy. earlier this week i did some voluntry work and worked physically hard all day and i LOVED it. other days i don't even want to get out of bed.

it's easy for me to say but STUFF everyone else. you know that you would love to be motivated, have energy and not need to sleep during the day but ITS NOT YOUR FAULT.

hope this helps a little bit, i feel like i'm rambling now sorry

take care

lloydy