Three Of The Most Commn Causes Of Bpd

[Cheryl]

Borderline Personality Disorder does appear to be more common in families in which other family members have Borderline Personality Disorder and/or other disorders that share some of the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder such as affective disorders, posttraumatic stress disorder, alcohol and other substance related disorders, and several other personality disorders. Research studies have shown repeatedly that environmental risk factors also contribute to the development of Borderline Personality Disorder. The environmental risk factors most frequently observed are early separations or loss, trauma, and ineffective parenting.

* Early Separations or Loss: About 50 percent of people with Borderline Personality Disorder have a history of early childhood separation from one or both of their parents. In these families, parents separate, divorce, or one parent deserts early in the child's life. Some parents of Borderline patients have mental disorders themselves, including bipolar disorder, severe depression, alcoholism, and antisocial behaviors including criminality. These disorders clearly affect the capacity of these parents to provide good parental care, and can separate them physically and/or functionally from the child.

* X- Trauma: Emotional, physical, and sexual abuses are the most commonly occurring traumas in people with Borderline Personality Disorder. Repeated sexual abuse is more common in the histories of women with Borderline Personality Disorder, while long-term physical abuse is more common in men with the disorder. Sexual and physical abuse can occur by a member of the family, or by a person outside the family. Sustained sexual abuse, especially incest, is associated with a high incidence of self-injurious behavior and suicide in people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

* X - Ineffective Parenting: There is considerable evidence in the research literature that many people with Borderline Personality Disorder have suffered from poor parenting. In these cases, there is a broad spectrum of parental failures. They include unresponsive, unloving, inconsistent, and unsupportive care from one or both parents. Poor parenting also includes providing poor role models for children. Frequent arguments, fights, and separations fail to provide children with a safe harbor at home. They also fail to equip children with examples of how to deal effectively with life's problems, and with strategies and skills to deal with their own internal emotional tensions and conflicts. Finally, poor parenting can involve the failure to protect the child from repeated abuse by the other parent, another member of the family, or an outsider.

[DJGreedyG]

I agree with the ineffective parenting part.

My Mum was ill with arthritis and brought me up well as a small child but the iller she got, the more she had to worry about herself. I helped her wherever I could.

My dad was a heavy drinker and didn't show any love at all. He was good to me, bought me nice things like a bike and footy boots but his way of parenting was just throwing money at us when he had extra money. Sometimes I didn't want new footy boots, I just wanted a hug or something but I never got that from him.

These days he shows some remorse for his drinking (which he beat) but still yells and shouts at me for nothing at times.

Gordy

[Tammi]

i got all three. ick

[Crunk]

Sounds about right. My dad had some sort of mental health disorder but was in denial and refused to acknowledge it. He was an alcoholic who'd repeatedly beat my mum - she became very depressed and withdrawn as a result of it. He had an extremely bad temper, was controlling, and physically and mentally abusive to us all. You know, the usual. As a result I lacked any sort of parental figure. So, can I blame him?!

[greenie]

Wow, that describes my life all round.

I was put into a childrens home aged 6 days, and then at the age of 5 was adopted.

My adopted 'brothers' sexually and mentally abused me for years, (I have never told my parents)

I have never been told by any of my family that they love me, so now I am trying to get through life with a pretty distorted view of things. I was diagnosed with bpd a month ago, and now everything seems to explain my constant self harm/suicide attempts, and complete inability to be happy.

Thanks for your info, it kind of helps knowing I'm not alone, although I don't wish this disorder on anyone. Just hope some good may come out of this. x :huh:

[charly24]

wow good research xx

[bitter&twisted]

I wonder what my problem is then, none of those things fit me.

[strat]

I can relate to the last two, but not the first one.

strat

[restless]

I've had all three as well

Di

[Marchmadness]

Ok, I can relate to the truma section. Then again, I know my father has some mental health issues too, not that he would admit to it.

[NavyChris79]

Hrmmm... Where to begin? lol, My parents split when I was young. I saw my dad during the summers. He suffered from depression but when I heard it as an adult it was news to me. His father up and moved across the country out of the blue about 15 years ago. As far as I'm concerned, I'm f*%ked and there's no point in analyzing my past, only looking to the future and getting better. My main worry is my son. He's got a father with BPD, and my wife and I split when he was 3 so I could distance him from the monster I was becoming. In my mind, he was better off having no father than a bad father. heh, turns out, I was wrong, but it was a no-win situation. Either way, he's going to turn out just like I did. I don't honestly even care about getting better, as long as I can keep him from turning out like this and having to go through this disorder when he's an adult. Damn, I rambled again and got off topic. My question is, is the better cure for this in treatment, or prevention?

[NotaGirl]

Thing is it wasnt the first 2, what do you say to your mother when she asks the question I dont know why you have these problems.

and you know full well why!

Personally, say nothing, and go - hey - it happens.

[Meg]

Sounds about right. My dad had some sort of mental health disorder but was in denial and refused to acknowledge it. He was an alcoholic who'd repeatedly beat my mum - she became very depressed and withdrawn as a result of it. He had an extremely bad temper, was controlling, and physically and mentally abusive to us all. You know, the usual. As a result I lacked any sort of parental figure. So, can I blame him?!

Sounds exactly like my situation up until I was about 13 when they divorced. Then I was just stuck with a depressed mom. :(

[sunshine_bear]

hey

said but all three stand for me to, it sucks doesnt it.

sunshine

[small blue glow]

So what is the answer ? People like us shouldnt have kids ?

Cause you know what, what goes around, comes around.

We are all very good at accusing our parents and pointing the finger of blame at them -

BUT could we handle the situation any better if we were in the same situation that they were in at the time.

My parents were imigrants from Ireland, living in a depressed council estate, and they got lots of racial abuse - as didi we.

my mother and father had five of us poor bastards - and quickly took to alcohol to ease the pain of life like it was for them, back

then. I remember being told to go to the shops with a shopping list for essentials, bread, milk - and no money to pay for it. I

was so ashamed of having to do this - no doubt my mother was too, as she sent me , instead - i was only about 8.

what I am saying is this, its easy for us to look at the parents to blame when our lives dont turn out as planned but sometimes

it is essential to look at what they had to face - dont get me wrong, I hate my father and I pity my mother but I dont think

their situation could have been easy either........

food for thought

[downs6226]

I am all three, no doubt.....

Borderline Personality Disorder does appear to be more common in families in which other family members have Borderline Personality Disorder and/or other disorders that share some of the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder such as affective disorders, posttraumatic stress disorder, alcohol and other substance related disorders, and several other personality disorders. Research studies have shown repeatedly that environmental risk factors also contribute to the development of Borderline Personality Disorder. The environmental risk factors most frequently observed are early separations or loss, trauma, and ineffective parenting.

* Early Separations or Loss: About 50 percent of people with Borderline Personality Disorder have a history of early childhood separation from one or both of their parents. In these families, parents separate, divorce, or one parent deserts early in the child's life. Some parents of Borderline patients have mental disorders themselves, including bipolar disorder, severe depression, alcoholism, and antisocial behaviors including criminality. These disorders clearly affect the capacity of these parents to provide good parental care, and can separate them physically and/or functionally from the child.

* X- Trauma: Emotional, physical, and sexual abuses are the most commonly occurring traumas in people with Borderline Personality Disorder. Repeated sexual abuse is more common in the histories of women with Borderline Personality Disorder, while long-term physical abuse is more common in men with the disorder. Sexual and physical abuse can occur by a member of the family, or by a person outside the family. Sustained sexual abuse, especially incest, is associated with a high incidence of self-injurious behavior and suicide in people with Borderline Personality Disorder.

* X - Ineffective Parenting: There is considerable evidence in the research literature that many people with Borderline Personality Disorder have suffered from poor parenting. In these cases, there is a broad spectrum of parental failures. They include unresponsive, unloving, inconsistent, and unsupportive care from one or both parents. Poor parenting also includes providing poor role models for children. Frequent arguments, fights, and separations fail to provide children with a safe harbor at home. They also fail to equip children with examples of how to deal effectively with life's problems, and with strategies and skills to deal with their own internal emotional tensions and conflicts. Finally, poor parenting can involve the failure to protect the child from repeated abuse by the other parent, another member of the family, or an outsider.

[AndyD78]

In a way I can relate to all three of these possibilies.

[sofaraway]

I can relate to 2 of those categories, not the abuse one.

i decided that i probably shouldn't have kids, i can see that my parents are a product of their relationships with my grandparents. the cycle has to stop somewhere, i wouldn't wish this hell on anyone let alone my own kids.

[celticgirl]

Points 2 & 3 sum up my childhood :(

[holly79]

Well my mother died when I was 7. My Dad abandoned me and I was raped when I was 22 by a so called "friend". Do I fit the category?

[NotaGirl]

Of course we can have children, we just have to work very hard to learn the lessons.

For me I use my experience to ensure I dont make my parents mistakes - and use the good so I can make a whole load of unique mistakes all on my own

And I make sure that my boy knows he is loved, approved of, that I am proud of him, and whereever I am physically I am always thinking of him, and would rather have him with me.

[anonanon]

So what is the answer ? People like us shouldnt have kids ?

Cause you know what, what goes around, comes around.

We are all very good at accusing our parents and pointing the finger of blame at them -

BUT could we handle the situation any better if we were in the same situation that they were in at the time.

My parents were imigrants from Ireland, living in a depressed council estate, and they got lots of racial abuse - as didi we.

my mother and father had five of us poor bastards - and quickly took to alcohol to ease the pain of life like it was for them, back

then. I remember being told to go to the shops with a shopping list for essentials, bread, milk - and no money to pay for it. I

was so ashamed of having to do this - no doubt my mother was too, as she sent me , instead - i was only about 8.

what I am saying is this, its easy for us to look at the parents to blame when our lives dont turn out as planned but sometimes

it is essential to look at what they had to face - dont get me wrong, I hate my father and I pity my mother but I dont think

their situation could have been easy either........

food for thought

Same scenario as me, I don't blame my parents (not on a good day anyway), looking at it rationally my mum suffered with severe depression and was sometimes psychotic and my father I think must be BPD - the anger gave him away. They did what they had to do - although 2 out of 3 girls now have BPD/Bipolar and the other ones hair fell out when she was 15. I have 2 children myself and do worry ....

[xavier_r]

* X - Ineffective Parenting: There is considerable evidence in the research literature that many people with Borderline Personality Disorder have suffered from poor parenting. In these cases, there is a broad spectrum of parental failures. They include unresponsive, unloving, inconsistent, and unsupportive care from one or both parents. Poor parenting also includes providing poor role models for children. Frequent arguments, fights, and separations fail to provide children with a safe harbor at home. They also fail to equip children with examples of how to deal effectively with life's problems, and with strategies and skills to deal with their own internal emotional tensions and conflicts. Finally, poor parenting can involve the failure to protect the child from repeated abuse by the other parent, another member of the family, or an outsider.

That last line in bold only, out of all the above 3 points...

The only bad feelings of childhood I remember is from that last line...

And that abuse isnt sexual or physical, but that of feeling neglected...

Is that single thing sufficient enough to cause BPD ?

[emma1977]

For me I think the hardest thing is neglect. I never had any affection - I felt no love for or from any of my family. And there was no-one else. All that was left was fear and an emptiness that won't go away. I was abused as well - but I don't find this as difficult. But I think abuse is a complicated subject and you can't generalise. But basically I don't mind suffering things in life but I need someone to suffer them for. I need for there to be a purpose to it. It is a vicious circle because if you have been abused and neglected then it is so hard to make any kind of relationship with somebody. Your feelings are numbed, and all you have is fear, mistrust, and a negative view of yourself.

I think my brain is probably miswired as well, but I don't know about this. I really think that if I had been able to go home to someone that I loved when I was growing up then I would be ok now. I think that is all anybody needs and I would give up everything that I have if I could go home to someone that I cared about, even if the relationship itself was difficult. But then this is not a very helpful way of looking at it. It keeps you in the past.

[rebeccaborderline]

all three; christ, thats me f****d then...

I made a concious decision not to become a mother, aged 13, and have not been tempted to change my mind because;

1) to break the cycle of abuse and poor and absent parenting

2) fear of being a mother like my mother

3) knowing that there was something "wrong" with me, and this shouldnt be inflicted on a child who has no choice.

I couldnt articulate these reasons when I was 13, but my instincts were right (for me).

This doesnt mean I dont think people with BPD cant become good parents; but they'll have to work pretty hard because they have knowledge of what can go wrong, and be a stronger person than I

rebeccaborderline