Three Of The Most Commn Causes Of Bpd

[leogrrl74]

2 and 3 sum up my childhood

[tripper]

I am all three too. It still makes me cry thinking about it. Is it wrong of me to say I hate my stepmother?

[phinnaeusgage]

i got all three. ick

My parents were teenage parents in the 70's, and my mom got pregnant on purpose to "keep" my dad. (they are still together...) I was the third kid, and my mom, who had BPD (and so does her mom) got postpartum psychosis after I was born. It was a crazy, violent and volatile situation, as my dad also had depression and was angry about his life. I don't think anything in particular caused it, but it all contributed.

[PanickyPolly]

Me too all three. My father is apaedophile (likes boys nont girls) and my mother is bi polar and alcoholic. Both were absent in the early part of my chihldhood and my grandmother brought me up. My fathr would frequently tell me to leave teh house when I was very young as he couldn't stand to look at me so my grandmother would take me down to my great grandmother's house. As I got older my mother's illness got worse and worse as she could not respond to medication and she became emotionally abusive. I was almost taken into care at one point but for some reason I wasn't. Can't remember why.

[Anaobas]

3 out 3.

I always try to do things "perfectly", even when being ill.... how ironic can life be

[amazinggrace31]

It's so sad that so many of you have all three.

I guess the only one that aplies to me is ineffctive parenting but I know my mum did her best and I've known people to cope with much worse parents and still be fine.

[ktie]

i think my bpd is due to ineffective parenting...i wonder if my genes have anythin to do with it too...

[Aztec]

I often wonder why I've ended up with such severe problems. Along with the BPD I'm an alcoholic and bulimic. Yet I wasn't abused as a child. My family is somewhat dysfunctional, but many are. My sister has none of the above. Gee, I'm really special and different!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Justine]

Oh poop Ive just written a long reply to this post and the computer ate it before I had finished.....hmmm mebbe it was tryin to tell me something!!

Basically what I was trying to say was that I have all three like alot of you and looking back on my life I can understand why.

I was physically abused to the age of 4 because I was fostered straight from the hospital, I was physically and mentally abused by my mother to the age of 17 and a half, I was isolated from everyone by my mother, she wouldn't let anyone get close enough to me to find out what she was doing to me. My mother never showed me love, affection, never gave me cuddles or kisses and yet she showered my sister with everthing. I was gang raped at 16, and my mothers boyfriend sexually abused me when I was 16 too. My dad was never around when I was a child, my mum made sure of that, I didn't even know him until I was 15 and even then I was threatened with disownment by my mother and her family. At 17 and a half I ran away from home and never went back. I'm not going to go into details of what I've been through because it is still very distressing for me to do so and I have started recalling some other things she did to me that are very scary because they were so bad that I had blocked them out.

My life has been pretty s***ty since then but 5 years ago I met my husband and he is fantastic. He helped me through some of the worst times in my life and I know I wouldn't survive without him now.

I have hated my mum on and off all my life for what she did but in reality it's not her that I hate because I can now see that she had a mental illness that she couldn't control and she didn't get any help because it wasn't the done thing then. I realise now that I love my mum VERY much and I don't blame her at all because if she was in as much pain as I am I can understand her behaviour to a degree but I do hate what she did to me. Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be able to hug my mum and tell her that everything will be alright.

In the last two years I have learnt alot about my family through my mums sister (my aunt), there has been a history of mental illness in the family for generations. At this time in my life and for most of my adult life I have had no contact with my family and as I only have a mum, a sister and an aunt as family I have no family around me except my children and my husband and that is all I need. I do worry about what damage I could have done to my children, I have tried so very hard to not be like my mum, I show them love and affection, show them how proud of them I am and try to make their environment stable. I know I have done things that have scared my children, like having a fit of rage and throwing things around but got my 10 year old daughter checked out and have since been told that she is showing no signs of any mental illness at this time.....THANK GOD!! All of my children know I have a mental illness and they have found that this makes it easier for them when I have a rough time of things because they know it isn't me that is doing and saying these things.

I hope my children will survive me being their mother and I hope that they love me as much as I love them.

[sara85]

wow I am so sorry so many of you went through all that. For a long time I have not been able to figure myself out because my childhood was pretty normal. No divorces, no traumas, no losses. But the thing is, I think it might have been traumatically normal. Here's what I mean. Where I lived, (white-bread suburbia) everything was always perfect. Like, Stepford Wife perfect. My mom had an anxiety disorder so that didn't help things, because I learned from a very young age that bad things and bad feelings were not allowed to happen or my mom (and therefore, my world) would fall apart. My dad was around but incredibly emotionally distant--barely even spoke to me until I was 19. I think I must have some sort of genetic depression thing, because I remember feeling sad for no reason pretty early on. But I think this got perpetuated by this fake, empty life around me, where it seemed like all you did in life was get up, go to work, buy things, go to sleep. Repeat. I didn't want that. Maybe that's why I was suicidal by 11. But of course I had these constant messages that my depression and rage at being trapped in a dead life were horribly bad, so I had to suppress them, which only works for so long. I lived the perfect life I was supposed to--straight As, extracurriculars, boyfriends, the whole deal--all the while losing or not even forming a sense of who I was. My only sense of who I was was that I was bad, inherently flawed, because I didn't feel the right emotions. (My mom even used to send me to my room when I was depressed as a teenager because she said nobody likes to be around people like that). When I got to college and suddenly had this freedom to be anybody, I freaked. I have not stopped freaking since. I still don't know who I am and I'm still not sure I want to live. And I still can't figure out where that original sadness and rage came from--I think it might be some sort of innate human truth that especially sensitive people (like borderlines) have trouble dealing with.

I just think psychologists and psychiatrists should be careful blaming only parents or genetics. I think for some people life itself is enough to simply drive you insane.

[scrambled1]

I've had all three as well

Di

i got all three too