Yesterday

[rebeccaborderline]

I was dreading yesterday, but it turned out so well, im still singing, so just wanted to share the lurve.......!

Appointment with my T; I'd cancelled on him last week, and been on the ale for 3 weeks too. I wasnt looking forward to feeling guilty, apologising, and another rough session like we've been having the last few weeks...

He was so nice to me he nearly had me in tears. We discussed why Id gone back on the booze this time; he didnt blame me, and said we're going to work on different alternatives. He made me laugh; we had to stop for 5 mins to wait for the giggles to subside (he does this a lot). We talked about the upcoming CPA review later that day, which I was dreading, and about what points i wanted to get across but was afraid I wouldnt; he said he would support me, and to remember that he was there for me, not the other professionals. He talked about my non-existant relationship with my CPN, which has been upsetting me; he gently suggested there was a degree of transference going on there (which I think i kind of knew), but that I also had valid grievances which he would support me in getting across. So by the time we'd finished, i felt calmer, and stronger; abit like i used to feel after a good therapy session but which i had lost for a while.

We met again a few hours later for the CPA review; it was wierd sitting in the waiting room, just me and him, kind of out of context, so I was nervous and very formal. But he got me giggling again...

They all went in first without me; shrink, therapist, CPN, crisis team and GP, and they talked for 40 mins (dont know what about, hoping my T will tell me next week). Then I was called in; i find these things very intimidating, so many people all staring at me and talking at me; sometimes I get defensive and am worried that this makes me come across as hostile.

First we discussed hosp admission route for crisis episodes, as has been a mess, with mis-communication and delays making me feel like i was being ignored. Its now streamlined and agreed by all, esp me, in a way that that makes me feel a lot more confident; my T is to take the lead as he sees me most and can now trigger a bed request with 1 phonecall instead of 5, like last time. Lets hope its not needed, hey.

The other problem was the lack of support from my CPN; i think my T had said something, as immediately she apologised for not keeping in touch. We now have a better plan in place; im not too confident that it will work, as it hasnt so far, but at least we all seemed willing.

Then my shrink started talking; I'd thought i'd irritated her last time we met, but she was lovely; said how happy she was at my progress over the last year, despite hiccups, and how hard i had been working. We got the prescriptions sorted, than I made my escape, 1 1/2 hours later...

So I feel 1) they took me seriously 2) they listened to me 3) I was happy how i came across, i wasnt defensive and overemotional 4) a lot of practical stuff that hadn't been wortking got sorted and agreed by all, which makes me feel a lot safer 5) my T supported me throughout, like he said he would, which i really appreciate

So, happy days eh?! Heres hoping now I can get back on track with my therapy, stop the booze and S/H again, at least for a while, and keep out of hosp and out of the clutches of the crisis team. Whoo-hooo!

thanks for listening mates

rebeccaborderline

[badger]

Hey Becs that's really great news! I'm so happy that things went so well, it's sound like your T is really there for you. And well done for not getting defensive and overemotional.

Thanks for telling us all about such happy news

badger xx

[Nuttymoo]

Hi Becca,

Its great to hear that things turned out so positive for you, it makes life much easier knowing where you stand with your care team. It sounds like before this meeting your care had become a bit tangled up and inconsistent in one way or another, so it must help you and your team being clear on things. Fab news it sounds like you did a great job of handling it with the support of you T.

I hope that this helps you in the way you have been feeling lately.

Take care xx

[drew]

hey its good to hear that the profs seem to be doing a poistive things for you x i hope it helps get you better x

[lloydy]

wow becs, that was the best post i have ever read!!!!

i am so pleased for you and you certainly deserve it. i hope that, like me, others read this and take something positive from it. you have just proven, that despite it feeling so black at times, there really is light just around the corner.

well done to you and i look forward to "chatting" again soon

KEEP UP THE POSITIVE VIBES GIRLIE!!!

LLOYDY

[donna1970]

im pleased things went so well for you good for you keeping calm it cant have been an easy day for you.

donna xx

[innermuddle]

i am so pleased for you honey, i had a similar experience a few months back in my CPA, it was my first one even though i had been under a meantl health team for years. I am so glad yout therapist supported you like that, he sounds a legend. Keep working at things honey, i know you can get back on track.

I am so pleased to read your post, thanks for sharing good news with us

[paddypotty]

this is great news.

Patricia

[loulou1330]

Big mushy hug 4 you Rebecca, WELL DONE.

Thanks for such a positive post, you give hope to us all. TC xxx

[shadowedseraph]

its nice to read something so posative good kuck with everything

[stuart-g]

:D Great News, Glad you shared!

Stuart!