lostsoul Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 this may seem like a very very silly question... but does anyone else here ever really think they are going mad, losing their mind, losing so much control that you fear you might just slip away into the backroom of your mind, never to return? when you feel the pain and the confusion pushing at you, willing you, packing out your head till you can feel this pressure, a sensation a bit like mind static, and you are caught within it all and start to get scared your head might just melt?> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 I have felt it more like fragmenting, falling into pieces, crumbling, falling into a black void of anxiety and terror where I can do nothing else to save me but lose myself. But I usually come back. I do my best now to reach out for contact with another before I have started to fall away. I suppose its more like dissociation, disappearing. lorna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 yes.... and you cant think about anything else because of that fear of going mad and all you symptoms get worse and it just goes round and round in you head. the more you fear it the worse it gets bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 when you feel the pain and the confusion pushing at you, willing you, packing out your head till you can feel this pressure, a sensation a bit like mind static,-> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Exactly, especially the pain and confusion pushing at me. But also, shattering inside. I remember when therapy was terminated with my last therapist, I felt I could see physical shattering inside myself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bored-a-line Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 have you heard ..where is my mind by the pixies.. Stop With your feet on the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse if there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Where is my mind? Way out in the water, see it swimming Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 .....not waving but drowning... now why didn't I say THAT to my group therapist who thought I'd been 'acting out'?????? THAT'S what acting out is, not waving but drowning. oh god, ANOTHER painful insight.... Thankfully I'm floating today. just. l. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bored-a-line Posted December 26, 2004 Report Share Posted December 26, 2004 also i think theres a bit in zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance where he loses his mind and the way he describes it is mighty familiar..he kind of thinks himself into oblivion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
star Posted December 27, 2004 Report Share Posted December 27, 2004 this may seem like a very very silly question... but does anyone else here ever really think they are going mad, losing their mind, losing so much control that you fear you might just slip away into the backroom of your mind, never to return? when you feel the pain and the confusion pushing at you, willing you, packing out your head till you can feel this pressure, a sensation a bit like mind static, and you are caught within it all and start to get scared your head might just melt?> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> feel like i'm losing my mind the majority of the time,so your not alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted December 29, 2004 Report Share Posted December 29, 2004 This past month and a half I feel like I am a prisoner inside my mind trying to escape and everytime I am about to break free I fail to. I feel like I trapped inside a tornado of my own fears thats keeps circling and spinning around and around picking me off the ground and just throwing me around in circles. Although I am not a prisoner I just have not found the right path to freedom yet. If I fight hard enough I will break free from this set of chains holding me back. The key is right infront of me but I cannot seem to reach it. I just need reach out a little further to grab that key to liberate myself from the past and my fears in order to find the right path. When I find my ticket to freedom I refuse to look back. For now its a struggle to break free but soon enough I will grasp that key and escape from the dark dreary depths of my mind! Baila Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinklady66 Posted January 12, 2005 Report Share Posted January 12, 2005 hello lostsoul: I always think that I'm loosing my mind. By the way, thanks for the little cheering up. I could use it right now.... :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted January 12, 2005 Report Share Posted January 12, 2005 I lost my mind in 1975.I hear the occasional rumour that it's been sighted pole dancing in Antarctica. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted January 12, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 12, 2005 omg pole dancing :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 12, 2005 Report Share Posted January 12, 2005 :lol: First laugh of my day. Thanks! XX Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psyche bunny Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 Yes often, tho not so much as I did when I first got ill, when I just simply thought I was going off my head and would never get better....would be lost forever....very scary space to be in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Answering the question in a more serious vein. Some past reflections. Stuck between sanity and insanity.Impaled on the barb wire-laughing as the jagged edges rip silent tears from my eyes. How long can one wear the corset of reason before the eyes break and the layer of madness spread in all directions like melting ice cream. Why do i feel that insanity is just round the corner waiting to engulf me? That my sanity is nothing more than a mirage that i have created and that is ready to disappear at any moment. I envy those people who are so sure of their sanity. I have such doubts such great doubts and sometimes i feel so frightened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kazzapants Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 this may seem like a very very silly question... but does anyone else here ever really think they are going mad, losing their mind, losing so much control that you fear you might just slip away into the backroom of your mind, never to return? when you feel the pain and the confusion pushing at you, willing you, packing out your head till you can feel this pressure, a sensation a bit like mind static, and you are caught within it all and start to get scared your head might just melt?> <{POST_SNAPBACK}> totally with you on this one!!!!! It kind of feels like your brain is resonating at such a high frequency that, just like you say, all the bits that hold it together will snap and break and the unknown thing that is fundamentally "you" will just vanish into the void. With you all the way my friend, i call my Bipolar friend and tell him i need someone to talk bollox to me, and he does!! He knows he needs to engage me enough to keep my attention, but to keep it simple - he can do it because bi polar has some parallels with BPD and many of the coping strategies cross over - I've found it so so helpful having a friend like that.........you got any coping strategies or do you just ride the wave and see where you end up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted January 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 strategies to cope? ha! nope. if i did, life sure would be easier. i usually get angry and try to smash things up or hurt myself. or get pissed up first, and then do those things. going for a walk is sometimes useful, but thats as close as i come to a peaceful solution. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bpmonki Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 get a punch bag and some gloves and let it all out sweetie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loopylizzie Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Yes. If I get really stressed my mind kind of switches off. It's like a record slowing down and stopping; everything goes muffled and it's like I'm a different, little tiny person inside my own head who can't really see or hear what's going on outside. I get the shakes and have to sit down and just stare at the floor for a while. Slowly my mind comes back, but afterwards I am really really tired and generally need to sleep for an hour or two. I do sometimes fear it'll switch off and not restart :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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