Do U Care?

[budgie]

I have no right, to ask you, but I will

Do u have a heart? Do u know and not care?

Do you know what happened on 26 Dec 04 in south east asia, where I live?

Do you know I could have been there? That I ...could, have...been dead as well?

As if you do care? It is so depressing to even think of this.

And going by the postings here, not many seem to care....I feel...

And it is sad. 88,000 people from 11 nations, dead, from the tsunami that hit southeast asia on 26 dec 04. 7 confirmed from my country, another 218 missing. That is the figure as it stands tonight, that number is still climbing, i mean the 88,000.

Without fail, every Christmas, we hear, from the west, people singing ...Do they know its Christmas time again.......Now, we are asking, do you know what happened to us? Do you care? Did u bother to show u care? It does matter. Just as much as it matters to me your presence here, just as much as Liverpool FC entertains me, as much as the happenings in the EU affects us....Oh well....whoever said things r equal eh.....i m being juvenile, gullible. And depressive.

Dont agree? Negative comments? Dont post. You'll only aggravate me. Spare us a thought here, the least. Please.

[verbena]

Budgie,

I could list a whole bunch of reasons your name may not have come up, but I'll bore you with only two -

1. Most Americans (this is a proven fact) including myself are so geographically challenged that they are lucky to find their own bathroom in the morning.

2. I personally rely on Joshua to keep us informed about this kind of thing. He knows where everyone is, and I know he would have told us if one of our members were in harms way.

No, I haven't written about the tragedy myself, but there is a thread on it. However, I have donated a chunk of money to UNICEF already, and am among millions in the states who are protesting the small amount pledged by the US.

I guess that of all of us, you were the closest, and possibly it will be hardest for you. That does not mean that we don't care about you or the other victims of the tsunami. I am glad to hear you are alive.

Ann

[budgie]

Thank u Ann. I am affected, yes. And I am here, in south east asia, yes. And, I do feel isolated. Still, I am glad u posted.

[budgie]

I AM being to wonder if Josh realised I am in south east asia or whether I am still alive (as if I do matter...)

[LadyMacbeth]

I care very much and after 9/11 I stopped watching the news and its not that I am turning away from the event because I care very deeply about other people and worldly diasters. I am terrified of death and terrified of people suffering enough to trigger a panic attack. I went completely downhill afte 9/11 and the thought of attacks, diasters, or illnesses scares the crap out of me. In my thoughts I am praying for you all and I think about it a lot but I just can't be expressive about it and the only reason why I am even writing this now is because I know you are hurt and you don't think people care but peope do care they just deal with it in their own way.

Also the only thing you really see on the news in America is Iraq and the war and so I do not watch it because I do not even want to hear about that. Not because I do not care but because I can't watch it.

I hope my e-mail has not disturbed you I am being honest and I do really care and I am thinking about all of you trust me.

Baila

[budgie]

Thank you Baila. And not only from me, but from thousands more. U know that.

[psyche bunny]

Hi Budgie

Yes I (and many of us here in the uk do care) but speaking for myself only; it is v hard to take in ...the enormity of it etc, I don't have a television (which is another story) so all images of the catastrophe accessable to me are in the papers or on the net.

Also I have a cousin in Thailand at the moment (who thankfully is ok) and friends in south India who have stayed on to help out with recovering bodies, survivors etc.

please do not think that ppl here in the west do not care about you are the rest of the world.

Elleanor

have to add that alot of ppl with mental health problems are often having such a difficult time it is hard for them to see outside of their own reality sometimes, which may seem unsympathetic but often it is usually because it is as much as they can do to get from day to day, not because they do not care.

[Betsy]

Budgie,

I care about you and all the people that are dead or will be dieing from related problems and all the people that are affected directly by it.

It is such a magnatude of loss that it is hard to comprehend and hard to respond to... because any response seems so inadequit.

bets

[RunnyWabbit]

Bud, of course I care, I have even allowed myself to watch reports on the news about this. I knew ya are in Singapore but as Verbena says I wasnt quite sure were that was in relation to where you are. I am grateful that you and yours are OK.

Bud I do care, as I am sure everyone here does, its just hard to express sometimes, things of this magnitude puts ppl in shock and they dont know how to handle it. Its not cause we dont care.

Wabbit

[lostsoul]

Budgie

I'm a bit pissed off. What's all this do you care business? I started a whole thread about it to remember those who died. And loads of members have put up messages and links to how to donate.

What do you want? You want us to come over and help? Well I even looked into that but nobody wants us international volunteers. So all we can do is give money and hold these people in our prayers.

And with all respect dude, its not our country so there is very little we can do. I can't bring em all back y'know.

And furthermore, people die every day and they never get a thread, money or a mention. Please don't mention this again it's buggin me.

[psyche bunny]

Budgie

I'm a bit pissed off. What's all this do you care business? I started a whole thread about it to remember those who died. And loads of members have put up messages and links to how to donate.

What do you want? You want us to come over and help? Well I even looked into that but nobody wants us international volunteers. So all we can do is give money and hold these people in our prayers.

And with all respect dude, its not our country so there is very little we can do. I can't bring em all back y'know.

And furthermore, people die every day and they never get a thread, money or a mention. Please don't mention this again it's buggin me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thought twice about reply to Lost Soul' comments, but after careful consideration......

have to agree with all you said Lost Soul ( i was cautious at first cos I is new.)

and what is more how can you (Budgie) say no negative posts? if you post something like that up you are asking for a rection and if you put ppls backs up you can't complain if they say so and maybe you get a negative response, yuour post is provacative...but maybe it was intended to be...

but yes, yet again, of course we care.

[verbena]

Thank you Baila. And not only from me, but from thousands more. U know that.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Budgie's last post was to thank, and nothing else. Get off her. XX

[lostsoul]

and because that last post was to thank, i'm supposed NOT to be insulted by the accusation that I, as one of the members here, do not care?

i don't get your logic, sorry verbena. and another thing, i wouldn't have to get off budgie if budgie hadn't stood on me first.

[lille_eskimit]

I was about to react in a 'That's not fair" way, but I guess we all have our moments...You have just as much right as us all to get depressed, rant and rave...and of course, people do care...I even know some of those who were affected...but there's only so much we can do!

As for keeping a distance (by not watching the news etc) or not talking very much about it...That's just self-preservation...Getting all moody about this is not going to help anyone, least of all the victims of the earthquake. No one was to blame for it, and thus far, the whole world seems to have banded together to help...Think about that, it's something positive...

[verbena]

I don't think she meant any insult or slight. I think she was upset and I don't like to see her singled out when she didn't single one of us out.

We need to not take this as personally as we are.

Example - I have to not let it hurt me that people I care about are at some kind of odds. I have to accept that everyone will not agree all the time. I'm just saying I don't think she meant any harm. XX Please let it go. Please Claire, don't be angry.

Ann

[lille_eskimit]

And seeing as it's 3.44am in S'pore, she's prolly asleep and unable to defend herself!

Yes, I know she was just upset and none of if was intended to be personal...Just trying to get her to see the positive side of things...it might help!

[LadyMacbeth]

I understand each point however everyone reacts to certain things differently. Honestly I was a bit offended at first but I tried to put myself in Budgie's shoes and tried to respond in a positive manner without getting defensive. But, I cannot see anyone on this forum who posts on a pretty much day to day notice who I have gotten to know in the two months who would not care. Claire is a very kind and considerate person much like a lot of you and she started the topic and I can see why she would be upset. We all have different coping mecanism. I do not think I posted in that forum and if I did it was to send my prayers and and thoughts to those affected. However, I do not agree with jumping to conclusions about something that is not true but then again I know Budgee is upset and sometimes we cannot think straight. No one is trying to offend anyone. Lets not get at eachother for it.

Baila

[lostsoul]

well the comment made about josh was most certainly pointed and personal

i would like to remind budgie that josh's job is to run this site, not be a broadcaster for world disasters or to find out who died in them, and furthermore, i think he does a fine job of running this site

so have that put it in your pipe and smoke it!

[claudine]

The enormity of this disaster is beyond overwhelming. I havn't even attempted to put my feelings into words so far. I can only compare my feelings after 9/11 because I was in DC and had friends and family that worked in the Twin Towers in NY. The numbers can't compare, but the shock, the isolation, the communication cut-off, the immediate halt of all things 'normal'...

I couldn't verify info for days, weeks. It's confusing, despairing and when anyone tries to go back to day to day life, it seems as if they don't care. It's terrifying to accept something so horrible. It could do you in. A friend who is a Sheriff helped with body searches and ID's. She still can't talk about it. How do you deal with it? Chat at work over coffee? Glue yourself to the TV and cry? Donate what you can, knowing it's a drop in the bucket? It's painful for everyone, everywhere. There's no way to erase the nightmare. We just have to try to hold on.

c

[lille_eskimit]

I'd just like to point something out:

Isn't it funny how most people only bother to volunteer/donate when something major happens...I mean, people die and suffer all the time...There all sorts of other problems worldwide...so how come people don't make giving more of a habit?

This is not meant to be a jibe at anyone in particular...It's just something I've been thinking about... :mellow:

[LadyMacbeth]

Claudine,

I completely agree with you. I almost lost my father in the attack cause his building was about 100 feet away and he saw both planes hitting the buildings and the thought of thinking about that whole event will make me break down in tears. I cannot think about it. It messed me up big time like many other people who were affected by it.

[Katherine]

i do care. i didn't know where you were budgie, and my mind was with anxieties-and I mean intense anxieties about flatmates and workmates and their families in India, because that is part of my world.

now i know they're ok (my geography's not good) the immensity of it all is sinking in.

i don't watch tv, but my im,agination is pretty powerful, and I know what its like to be hit by an emotional tidal wave, to be practically swept away and drowned by that, i have been in my dreams once or twice, and I can imagine the fear, can feel the fear. That reminds me and lets me reflect.

there is little i can do here in London except care and understand and pray.

when it was 9/11 i lived near canary wharf and the city of london, that also helps me imagine and empathise (the fear).

lorna

[Ginny]

I gotta say - being BPD - I feel more than most 'normal people' . I do not have to broadcast my sympathies for all these countries that are in terrible conditions at the moment and all the people that have died. I FEEL and I do not like being prodded to 'care'. I f**king care alright - too much.

My Grandmother was in a concentration camp during WW2 - she was raped and abused by German soldiers and members of our family died in the Holocaust.

I am getting angrier by the minute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I grieve for myself and others like me every day!!!!!!!!! BPD sucks - a lot of us commit suicide but here we have a website for us - we need it. Create another bloody website to cry for those involved in this latest tragedy.... Dont you DARE try and force me to guilty for something I DEFINITELY do not need blaming for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LadyMacbeth]

Wow, Ginny I can fel your animosity and you are right to feel this way. I think you are right and nicely said. I am shocked your grandmother was in a concentration camp. But, if a family member of mine went through the same experience I would feel exactly how you feel as I am a history major and have studied the Holocaust for over ten years. I will never know exactly how you feel but you have the right to be angry. I am always there for you if you want to talk.

Baila

[lille_eskimit]

Oh dear...I strongly suspect this would compel Budgie to say something about what happened to S'pore during the Japanese Occupation (if you peeps haven't already scared her off!), the atrocities of which had only been revealed to Japanese civilians over the last few years (Japan tried to hush it all up)...Even though WWII was a long time ago (and Japan finally got its comeuppance), I don't think I want to be around when people talk about it!!! Like all BPDs, I tend to put myself in the shoes of others a little TOO much! You wouldn't want to have seen the state I was in when Sarah Payne went missing!!!