LadyMacbeth Posted January 3, 2005 Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 I hate these mood swings, yesterday I was an absolute mess and I felt better today! First day I did not feel extremely anxious. Checked the voicemails of my two cell phones that I accidently left for the second time up in NY. Loads of my friends called me wondering when I was coming home and if I was okay. Even the two guys I was seeing called to hang out when I come back. Thats probably not going to happen. Well...maybe...depends on my mood. I miss my friends! I am not sure why I have been able to establish solid friendships but still be emotionally f-up. Fortunately I do have friends who are really understanding and trustworthy enough I could confide in them that I have BPD. Although they really do not know anything about the disorder they know I am extremely emotional and paranoid at times. There have been many times I have called them in extreme panics and they have listened and tried to call me down. I have also refrained from drinking this evening as well. I am very ready to go to sleep right now but my damn sister and her friends are in the downstairs living room watching TV where I have been sleeping. Not like we don't have anothe rliving room up stairs with a bigger TV and a DVD player. So I cannot sleep til they leave. So I am rambling on to kill time. Hopefully soon I can fall asleep and sleep more than five hours tonight that would be excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted January 3, 2005 Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 i'm pleased that you feel cared about and remembered and wanted! have you looked at what might be behind the mood swings? (i don't mean bpd, i mean triggers and events in your day...) hope you got a better sleep last night.. l. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted January 3, 2005 Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 I am so glad you have good solid friendships. In someways they are more important than anyone else. xxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted January 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 I feel bad...I woke up at my usual time of 5:00 am. Ny father was getting ready for work. I went into the study to use the computer and my dad comes in and says "Why don't you go back to bed" I told him I get up at this time everymorning in a grumpy voice. Then he said "When are you going to clean up this mess?" Because I have clothes thrown around everywhere in here. So I yelled I will later GOOD BYE! So then he sayd "I have too much to worry about without your attitude." So he left for work and thinking about it and I felt really bad so I called him up on his phone to apologize. That was so mean of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted January 3, 2005 Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 So your not a morning person huh? Seriously im grumpy as hell most mornings. There being no milk left can be enough to send me ranting and raving :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted January 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 Actually this is the only time when I don't feel tired. I am usually wide awake and usually in a normal mood. But, I do get annoyed when people harrass me in the mornings. Because I get up so early I consider it my time and I do not like people invading my morning time space. I would rather have a few hours to myself! I know it sounds weird but I do not think like regular people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 3, 2005 Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 Early morning is the very best part of the day. It is quiet, and I am rested, and nothing bad has happened yet. It is a good time to write letters. It is also the time I am most likely to start crying if someone speaks to me the wrong way, or I let myself think about sad things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katherine Posted January 3, 2005 Report Share Posted January 3, 2005 I feel vulnerable in the mornings too...Lady M you are sharing a space at the mo, you don't have your own space and that's hard. can you speak to your dad and negotiate that he give you some personal space in the mornings? he could have asked you "nicely", or left it until later... good on you for phoning him and apologising, even so. lorna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted January 4, 2005 Report Share Posted January 4, 2005 Actually this is the only time when I don't feel tired. I am usually wide awake and usually in a normal mood. But, I do get annoyed when people harrass me in the mornings. Because I get up so early I consider it my time and I do not like people invading my morning time space. I would rather have a few hours to myself! I know it sounds weird but I do not think like regular people. That is bizarre - like listening to myself..... Ginny :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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