Death, Only?

[lostsoul]

I am in a weird head space, looking for a way out. I think I came in words.

Sorry for the randomness. Ps i'm not religious, maybe just nuts. UH.

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Death, only?

I have no choice, in anything,

not even in the smallest act

or chosen word.

Emerge, emerge, funny

flung thing, into this story,

you must come.

To climb this winding stair,

of incremental catastrophe -

some do not even see

they are so small. Each one.

Wherein their eyes do look away

and disregard;

eyes that otherwise

would love to pry

where pretty things

are found to lie, close off

instead with sleuce of mind

that's coming down.

Watch out!

Watch out!

Tis coming fast!

And there is nothing to be done!

Fall down and pray!

With bended knee,

we hear them say;

the best of efforts,

the pith of almost anyone,

can faulter on the path,

and does, to tears

and weary footsteps.

Tell me, have you?

For I have, and will again.

How far down

shall I fall this time,

or next, onto the fashioned

slabs below?

And when I land,

On 'others' tongues,

how shall they speak

when I am gone?

Do I hear -

fair?

angry?

misled?

beguiled?

ashamed?

I hear them all,

and more

weep from the heart.

And from my God

I hear a moan;

what happened,

to my child?

I say, why?

Do you care, father?

You gave me away

without a thought

for all the perils

of this place

and did it

with a leader's face

no wimper of regret!

You set me up

for hurt and loss,

you made me step

This way.

Oh, why?

To learn a lesson?

What use has it

I have to ask,

what use?

To bring

myself to you?

Is that what you

believed to be

the meaning

of a life?

Death,

only?

[Betsy]

It's more than death... I hope you feel it soon.

((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))))

bets

[lostsoul]

yeah, i hope i feel it too..

(((((((((((((bets)))))))))))))

[Ginny]

oh honey - you are here for so much more than that - what beautfiul but saddening words....... Hopefully, one day soon you will find that enlightenment that makes you BELIEVE in what so many others can see and feel from you...

Ginny

PS. When you find it, can you tell me where it is too.... ;)

[lostsoul]

((((((((((((ginny))))))))))))

course i'll tell ya! :wub:

[LadyMacbeth]

I agree with Betsy and Ginny!

Did you write this? Have you published poetry before? I think you should try get some of your work published you are gifted.

[lostsoul]

hi lady,

yeeees, i take full responsibility for authorship. i was truly gone fishing last night and i didn't catch anything lol. a lot of words kept coming into my head and almost all of them were attached to these really strong emotional weathers. it was like, somone was sending them to me or something. as i was lying in bed last night i suddenly said to mike; whispers' hatch, and i have no idea why.

i am feeling more normal today i think it might have been residual effects of the risperdal. to be honest i wasn't sure what i had posted up until i looked this morning. i was cringing to look in case it was just total drivel. hmm. anyway. no comment about that !

yeah i have written a lot of 'stuff'. in the early days it was all suicide notes. i know it's grim but i have kept them all. oh no hold on the first thing i wrote was about england's countryside! and how 'of all the places i have been (which actually wasn't very many; just jersey, france and the isle of white!) i much prefer this country green'. yUK!

since then it has progressed and i now very rarely write suicide notes, and focus more on stuff about nature or how i am feeling (typical egocentric.. me me me!).

anyway. thanks for the compliment. my understanding of my abilities is that i am 'ok' and every nine months or so, as with child birth, I push out quite a good one. but then there are those awful ones you write that you try not to believe you created because they are just so terrible in every way; these are the ones i write every other week, and they feel awkward to cleave from the mind, like having a constipated shit! And then there are those you write, often about very intense involving events, that come straight from the heart and that impact transfers through the piece onto others and they are very touched by it. And those ones come rushing out with ease, like a funny tummy!

i would not get them published because i am not that good. but it is something i love to do, and maybe one day, when i have acquired the wisdom and experience with which to write very good things, then maybe i will give publishing a whirl. but not yet. there is much work to be done!

((((((((((((((((hugs lady)))))))))))))))) you say nice things :rolleyes:

[LadyMacbeth]

Don't put yourself down! You have a real gift with words especially when it comes to describing how you are feeling. You are good at it!!!!!!!!!!That remind me we need to talk about our book. I will have full access to my library next week so if I need to research anything.

Love,

LM

[lostsoul]

yeah people always tell me that. i must start listening to people!!!!!

[Alexa]

(((((((((((((((((((lostsoul))))))))))))))))))))))