Project

[Hamza112]

Rebecca...thanks. And i did explain and apologized for my aggresive behavior. I wasn't only having a bad day but i was also attacked, ganged up and threatened with expulsion from this site...

[malibu]

My pets keep me alive.

They get me up

and keep me going.

[Warrior Princess]

"Can't we all just get along?" Rodney King

[cherylbcool]

i think this a good thread also.........can be used as a learning curve..............this is what i learned.........i have no control of other peoples words............but i do have control of mine........................as for me....i am a bpd survivor............im a hero.....and im couragous............my childhood was a disaster............that i had to straighten out ....all by myself......so i could function enough to pay my bills.......as i only had me to rely on..........i hated bpd.........still do sometimes.......my war is with bpd.........and i have won many battles with it...............one battle i had was that i could not direct my anger and rage in positive ways.......even though i had justifiable anger and rage.............then one day when i was younger i looked around and i had hurt everyone around me unintentionally...........i thought.... ...well they should just toughen up............well they didnt toughen up......they chose to not be around me..............my pain and sorrow only got worse.....................i was alone...............i wanted friends.......i wanted to be liked..............everyone does........so i knew i had to change the way i deal with these powerful emotions.................so hamza........i have had bad days.........many of them................i used to say what i wanted .......when i wanted........and it made MY life more miserable than it had to be...............i struggled with my problem for many years and thats probably why your post triggered me sooo bad............as i have alot of pain in this area..........i hurt alot of people in my life......but you are right.......i have no control of your words........but i was also not responsible for how that post made me feel................as it is a trigger...........i cant change the past.......and take back the pain i caused other people................and i REALLY want to............... i have the fears that i could do it again.............if i am not careful with my words..............and actions.......all the time..........i have to be careful because of my history...........and its very hard at times..........maybe that upset me too.........that i dont get to hurt people.............because a part of me still wants to hurt others sometimes...........................we live what we learn............and i learned growing up that hurting people is okay..................but its not okay...........................its abusive.............and thats never right..............it makes me feel bad that i want to hurt others sometimes..............and i dont like that about myself........but i have to live with my pain........and not spread it..................this was very hard for me to admit................but its true.........................so before i act........i have to ask myself...............does this hurt someone or help them..............or better yet..................................am i using thier hurt to help me............................................its very time consuming................i will never stop though...............i am on a healing journey.....................and part of that is accepting the good AND the bad about myself ...........and.what i learned to do is wrong.........but its up to me to change it to stop the cycle of abuse...............................................................................

[cherylbcool]

HERES SOMETHING I WROTE ABOUT THIS THREAD...................................................................................................WHEN YOU LEARN SOMETHING VALUABLE..........SOMETHING THAT YOU CAN CARRY WITH YOU FOREVER.......THE PAIN THAT CAUSED THE LEARNING BECOMES MINISCULE WITH TIME......IF IT IS COMPARED TO THE PAIN YOU WILL HAVE TO ENDURE IF THE LESSON WAS NEVER LEARNED.....................................i put this on my wall to remind me............

[sunshine_bear]

Hey guys,

I have not been on for a few days and reading through this post I have found some posts off different members to have a very agresive tone to them. This is a support forum not somewhere for us all to argue and take a pop at each other. We are meant to have some degree of understanding with each other due to our illnesses.

We should all understand that people have bad days as we al have them, no one here can not say they havn had a bad day were they have not had a go at someone.

I think this post needs to calm down and peoples views to be given appropriaty and in the right manners and tones.

Some of the comments have been personal attacks towards over members of the site. Which I dont agree with at all. I find it disgisting that people here can have such nastiness towards each other.

I again reiterate that this is a SUPPORT site not a place for people to have a go at other members and accuse them of been liars etc etc etc. Come on guys pull it together were al meant to get along so calm down!!!!!

As for the orginal topic of this post. I am a bit apprehensive for this type of 'treatment' or 'therapy'. I had a suicide attempt last summer a pretty serious one and upon recovering I went out and got two hamsters something to live for and somethng to care and look after,

sunshinex

[Ronni]

I have 2 cats. I have had them for about 10 years or so. But since my mental health deterorated to the point I was diagnosed I have become so mcuh more emotionally detached from them or find that their love and affection actually triggers something painful in me so I push them away. I haven't been well for about 2 years. They haven't helped me, and I am now about to rehome them because I think they deserve better, so in a way, it's made me feel worse about myself, for letting them down too.

I think with a dog, it is a different relationship though, they love you come what may, they make you get up and move, and they can give you a reason to keep going. For many people they are more important and more loved than their children [and I can testify to that one] and in some case replace relationships, give you a constancy, something that loves you in it's doggy sort of way, and doesn't abandon you even if you are in a pigging bad mood; will always be pleased to see you, never abandon you. I think it could help with a lot of things, but it won't fix BPD. But maybe nothing will, and perhaps it is all about finding things that make you happiest, and owning a pet does for a lot of people. It helps with routine, can help with social contact [when all you have to talk about is bouncer or fred and his new ball], exercise, more responsibility, interaction, distraction. So I think it can help with a lot of things.

There is no cure from BPD. There is very little concrete research. In fact no one really knows what causes it, why it is caused or what to do about it. The in thing right now is DBT but no one really knows for sure. Maybe for some people owning a pet is their thing. The term BPD is nearly 70 years old. And much that is being done is still being researched. Perhaps pet ownership is the thing, and I can see it might actually be good for me, if I would just give up my past, let it go and move on with my life, on my own. Think in terms of grey for a bit, and not quick fix. They say that the most beneficial treatment is a mixture of medication and therapy. Perhaps it is also about finding a reason and a quasi family. Something to care for that doesnt leave. And you can be as eccentric as you like with a dog!

[Rook98]

Remember...

This forum is our collective swimming pool.

Don't pee in the pool.

[phinnaeusgage]

I wish I could have a dog but I rent and can never find a place where I can. I think it would be lovely to have another living, breathing fuzzy creature around who I wont feel is judging me into paranoia. I think it would be good for safety too, because if somebody who loves and needs me is sitting at my feet it would be hard to hurt myself.

[sunshine_bear]

Remember...

This forum is our collective swimming pool.

Don't pee in the pool.

lol love it :D

[cherylbcool]

opps i peeed in my pants.lol..just kidding

[coco]

Yeah i know what you mean about animals. I have a house rabbit and the affection and love he gives me makes me feel loved and wanted and needed.

To some it may be hes just a rabbit but to me i love him and he loves me and that makes me feel good.

I understand what you mean about animals though. And i have to agree that it might help you hun.

I dont think anyone should argue about thiis. Its a sensitive thing.

Pm me anytime you want nat.

Love Eva xx

[Warrior Princess]

Remember...

This forum is our collective swimming pool.

Don't pee in the pool.

that's exactly right... We don't swim in your toilet so please don't pee in our pool....

[Warrior Princess]

I wish I could have a dog but I rent and can never find a place where I can. I think it would be lovely to have another living, breathing fuzzy creature around who I wont feel is judging me into paranoia. I think it would be good for safety too, because if somebody who loves and needs me is sitting at my feet it would be hard to hurt myself.

Sounds like my husband but you cant' have him... he's taken.

maybe they would let you have a caged animal like a guinea pig... some apartments allowe caged animals but not free roaming ones. it's worth asking. Even a Cockatiel is good company. I love my cockatiel because he repeats what i say. he reminds me of my shrink! he makes a lot of nioise sometimes with out really saying anything productive and he cracks nuts to survive.

paine.

[cherylbcool]

lol...........repeats what y say......and cracks nuts....lol................good one

[Miko]

I think it would be more helpful if Natty could give us a further idea of what benefits he has had from his experiences with his animals.

What kind of training are you giving the dog? Who inspired this for you, what other people are doing this, is there helpful literature we can use as a resource when we want to do this?

What sort of people are helping you with the training? What sort of time do they have to spend with you to design the best type of training for the dog? Is their an organisation for it? Where do those people get their training?

In my case I would value their companionship but acquiring them and getting used to looking after them, by being such a steep learning curve would be a terrible pressure for me.

It would also be fascinating to know how you are going to use the information and where the project is based and what format the project will be placed into. In fact in surveys of this kind I think it an essential.

It is often a sign of empathy to state in the fields which appear to the left of our posts, what some of our diagnoses or else symptoms or troubles are, for others' identification.

It is most understandable to feel uneasy about being 'studied' when not a lot of convincing detail is given.

[Miko]

Just to clarify I wonder if Natty One may be 'she' rather than 'he'.

Also I realise you have given a little detail of the situation later in the thread but more would still be helpful to us, probably along the lines I just suggested, and with hindsight right at the beginning of the thread is what is needed to be confidence inspiring.

[Lifetrap Queen]

I have worked in a psychiatric hospital - i know, how ironic - and pet therapy was huge!

[nattyone]

Miko

How it works is that you breakdown your problems until you can see the cause and effects as much as possible , then you try to figure out what could be changed about those cause and effects in order to make them less dificult to live with . I think its much harder to explain than it is to do , although its actually not that easy , which is why I posted my initial post to try to unscramble the problems I was having as I am newly diagnosed with BPD.

The word project seems to have a different meaning here than I had intended , I have tried to explain previously but for clarification it is not a project on other people, it is for myself , something to keep me occupied and improve my situation. I posted asking for help because as I said i'm having a hard time unscrambling cause and effect in myself and was looking for others thoughts on the matter , I also posted incase anyone else was interested or had heard about PSDs and was interested in learning more . Here is a link to the psychiatric service dog society website which explains about them much better than I can

http://www.psychdog.org/tasks.html

that page shows examples of the types of things that have benifited people with various illnesses.

bb natty

[Faerielight]

natty, im sorry u have been given suc a hard time with your post ,especially as u r new here. i think its a great idea. pets can be so healing. my cat merlin has seen me trough the darkest times, he always knows when im upset and gives me comfort. hes been there when people have rejected me. and he has stopped me ending my life many times because i would hate to abandon him. i like dogs too but my cat doesnt so i cant have a new edition to my animal family. take care, and hope you are ok, hugs ivy xx

[InnerPeace]

I miss having a dog but when I go round to my mother's I give her dog a big hug! Funny, just realised, I don't hug anyone else when I visit!

I've just bought my daughter 2 guinea pigs, I'm wondering why on earth I've created yet another drain on my time, energy and money but they are lovely and being an only child in a single parent family, it's really giving her something. She lacks confidence too but brilliant with feeding them etc.

We were having a discussion where I work about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person and when I said why I liked them a cat lover said I should get a man instead! I think there are few men who make as good a pet as a dog! Funny how people like cats for their independence but that's why I don't like them, I want unconditional love! My boyfriend is great but amazingly a cat person, I tease him by saying I'll only contact him when I want something in that case.

[dpb]

Cats, dogs, whatever rocks your boat I guess. Recovery is a multi dimensional thing.

[sunshine_bear]

Cats, dogs, whatever rocks your boat I guess. Recovery is a multi dimensional thing.

You forgot rabbits!!! :P

[Toni]

I have a little papillon companion and she is just great to have around. She is the only one in this world who cannot abandon me. Maybe that is the wrong way to think about her but she means everything to me. She is someone to talk to when I am alone all day.

If I was in America I could get her declared an emotional support dog and then would be able to take her out shopping with me. I am sure if I could then I would go out more but alas over here people's ideas are so backwards no where allows dogs in. She is so small she could fit into a doggy hand bag would be no trouble at all.

So I would agree with the OP and that dogs can be a great help with Mental Health. She is someone to hug and cuddle, to stroke. She is a reason to get up in the morning. A reason to move out of my bed or chair.

Dogs are amazing.

Toni

[nattyone]

Hello

Thank you all for your replies .

The value of campanionship from an animal is well documented , some people are very alone in this world and for those people having an animal of any kind can make a huge difference. Also there is the matter of confidence building, many people lack confidence to such an extent they can feel thoroughly useless and unable to cope with any responsability or job . Having an animal can really help to improve a persons confidence level , for example a child may get improved confidence from being able to feed , groom and otherwise care for a small animal with only haveing the adult oversee , to ensure that the neccersary tasks do get done . For some children , who have no interest in animals it wouldn't work and the animal would likely get neglected unless cared for by an adult, the same is true for some adults . If your not an animal lover , then this is not for you , but just because something doesnt suit one person doesn't mean that it won't work for anyone else.

Responsability , this has been mentioned by several people , some people don't want the added responsability of caring for an animal , thats fine I havent said that keeping an animal is for everyone because I know its not .

What im suggesting is that for those people who already keep animals , and are well versed in the responsabilities, difficulties, time ,expenditure etc etc there maybe ways in which to maximise that benifit , which i'm quite sure most owners are aware of .

This whole thing needs to be approached with an open mind, researched , considered carefully and lateral thinking, self exploration etc needs to be employed to descover if you yourself can benifit from continuing your dogs training to enable it to help you further .

Training a service dog is very time consuming and requires a lot of effort , that is not debateable but for some its doable because it becomes all consuming and doesn't become work it actually becomes pleasurable for many people who feel great pleasure and pride in the achievements they make . You start small and see where it leads , maybe you stop at one thing but maybe that one thing helps you more than anyone can imagine or maybe you carry on for years little by little increasing the benifits that you reap . It's a very personal thing and what works for one person doesn't neccersarily work for the next person . The point is for some the active participation is actually benificial in and of its self before you even get to the point of having trained an actual behaviour that is benificial in terms of mitigating your illness.

Personally for me , I have kept animals since I was a child , I haven't done anything with them that I have found as rewarding and challenging as training my current dog . She has given me something to work on , a challenge ,shes also allowed me to see success in something i've done and she is working alongside me to help me get better and cope better with things . It will be a long journey , who knows how it will turn out but at the moment it's the one thing I have that I actually enjoy and its the one thing thats worked to help me with my issues , I'm not cured , probably never will be but bit by bit I intend on chipping away at my symptons with the hope that one day I'll be able to participate in the outside world without it causing me huge meltdowns , anxiety and major bouts of depression.

bb natty