PanickyPolly Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 Just wanted your opinions really guys. I've a history of emotional, verbal and psychological abuse and wondered if it's happenning again. My mother remarried 18 months ago to a very odd man indeed. Well he had to be odd to marry my mother but basically he's been making inappropriate sexual remarks towards me and then when I get upset and tell him to stop he tries to make me feel guilty by telling me he's hurt or that it's all in my head and it's my illness making me paranoid. Lately he's saying he's been knocking on my door and I've been avoiding him or spying on him walking up the path to my front door then ignorng him bnecause I know it's him and he sent me an email saying as much and that he was upset as he didn't know why I hated him so much and that he was hurt I was spending so much time with my fiends (of which ther are none) and no time with him. I don't know if he's harmless and just senile (he's 76) or if it's another form of abuse. I feel like he's manipulating me and my CPN seeems to think he is taking advantage of my vulnerability. I think he basically preys on the vulnerable. All three of his wives (including my mm) have been ill and unable to look after themselves and when he met me I was going bonkers. I was agrophobic, physically ill also and had no money. Now my agrophobia is gone, I'm physically better and I've working part time. I still am bonkers but I'm seeking help and determined to get some independence in my life so I'm wondering if he's flipping out because he's scared I won't need him which basically I don't. To be honest I FEEL abused by this man. His behaviour is revolting on times...I mean he's an old man and married to my mother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vorpalblade Posted May 20, 2007 Report Share Posted May 20, 2007 whether he is senile or not, anything that makes you feel uncomfortable is NOT on hunni. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanickyPolly Posted May 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2007 Well no I know it's not and I told him as much...just wondering if it is a form of abuse. To be honest teh more I think of him now the more sick I feel and I think I'd actually throw up if he came anywhere near me again. They (him and my mum) will probably use this against me now, twist it around and amke it sound as if I'm the one with the problem. I have less and less people in my life now and it's scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted May 27, 2007 Report Share Posted May 27, 2007 ok, this may seem like a wierd answer and maybe it is. i think it is abuse only if you view it that way. you are looking at his actions through eyes that you had as a child. that is when you could do nothing about your situation. you are an adult now and can choose to blow him off, minimize contact, and just rebuff everything he says. you can call on your strength and all the things that you have gained recently and think he is a dirty old man that isnt going to change and it has nothing to do with you but how he is and that he can't really hurt you now.i think a lot of therapy has to do with realizing you cant change the past but that you can change the future. to me this seems to be you reacting in a way that you would have when you were vulnerable and could do nothing on your own to stop abusive situations. if he hasnt touched you or done anything your mind is stronger than his. if he ever tries to touch you knock him out... he's 76, let him know in no uncertain terms that you find him disgusting and dont want anything to do with him.dont let him drag you down. FIGHT IT!!or like i said maybe i'm the crazy one so ignor me! i hope this didnt sound offensive as it is just my thoughts.good luck,bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanickyPolly Posted May 27, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2007 No that makes sense Betsy. Trouble is I've only just started therapy so I'm yet to react to situations in a constructive way. I'm at the worse end of the BPD spectrum so to speak! Helpless! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerPeace Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 No that makes sense Betsy. Trouble is I've only just started therapy so I'm yet to react to situations in a constructive way. I'm at the worse end of the BPD spectrum so to speak! Helpless!Maybe it would help to think about how someone you know without BPD would react or how in an ideal world you would like to be able to react. Sometimes removing ourselves from the situation helps and we can see more easily if we look at it as a third person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coco Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 I agree with vorpalblade. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable its not right.Wish i could come to you and sort this person out. Take care hun.Love Eva xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flightlessdove Posted May 28, 2007 Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Have you spoken to your mum about this?I really hope you feel better soon.Big hugs, Karina xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanickyPolly Posted May 28, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2007 Oh trust me he's been 'sorted out' coco lol. No haven't spoken to my mum about anything in over a year flightlessdove. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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