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Doctor Dysphoria

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Doany of you go through that internally taking on board criticism and thinking 'I'm a terrible person' and it really eats at you but externally you feel the need to deny and it all just spews out no holds barred-lots of anger,paranoia.

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I internally feel no good and have no self confidence.. but other things don't bear that out.. dont know how to change my gut level feelings tho.

bets

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Yes Dr Dysphoria, me too. I used to deal with unwanted criticism by thinking there might be some truth in what the person was telling (is this "transference"??), and that would make me feel bad. Well I've made some progress I guess, in that I can now answer back right away or soon after and make sure they know what I think of their criticism. As it is mostly my mother giving me this kind of criticism, there was a month before Xmas when I was yelling at her a lot, it all got out of proportion, and I felt I was overreacting but couldn't stop.

However since I've been taking cod liver oil my rages have died away. I'm now taking E-EPA from www.mind1st.co.uk which is a purer kind of fish oil. (Thought I'd spread the word)

Bye for now

K

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Yes, all the time. But, I look at it such as "I can call my mother a bitch, but don't you dare call her a bitch" type of thing. I know I have my faults and when I am in BPDland I feel like a worthless piece of nothing but I also know I do have good qualities and it angers me that other people do not see those qualities. I am not talking about my friends or the people close to me because I am pretty open about my feelings. I am talking about people that really do not know me very well. Esp. at work as I close myself up and keep to myself. Some people take it as I think I am better than anyone else and they think I am a bitch. But, they can't see I hurt inside and I am afraid to let them in because I have been betrayed before at work. Fortunately, at college I felt accepted so I had those feelings now and then but at work it got so bad where I felt so rejected that I spent so much time hiding in the bathroom crying and cutting. Not good. We are all worth so much more.

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