Marchmadness Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Hey Josh -That question was not directed towards you, it was my response to the quote thatwas made about punishment towards someone with BPD. I was making thepoint that even tho we all have BPD we also need to take responsiblity forour own actions, and behaviors. I really don't like the comment either! I dofeel like the blame is being placed on you, and I just wanted her to takeownership of her own BPD behaviors. K, maybe I should shut up now.Marchmadness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Hey Josh -That question was not directed towards you, it was my response to the quote thatwas made about punishment towards someone with BPD. I was making thepoint that even tho we all have BPD we also need to take responsiblity forour own actions, and behaviors. I really don't like the comment either! I dofeel like the blame is being placed on you, and I just wanted her to takeownership of her own BPD behaviors. K, maybe I should shut up now.MarchmadnessMarch,Chill pill!I was just responding generally, no need to become defensive, really...also no need to shut up, im interested Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzan33 Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Innerpeace - Sorry if I was at all grumpy then. I guess perhaps I expressed myself clumsily in my original post? What I was trying to get across was the contrast between the threads. The first thread I read was a request for help to provide a service that we all use and need, the second was one that seemed to be complaining about the very person who provides that service. What "doesn't seem fair or right to me" is not the request for donations (I completely support that) but some of the comments in this thread which seem to belittle Josh's efforts here, as this seems completely wrong to me given how obvious it is that Josh has to work so hard to keep this place going for us all.(Josh - sorry to talk about you in the third-person there! )Suzexx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Its fine but please refer to me as either sir or lord in your posts :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suzan33 Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Its fine but please refer to me as either sir or lord in your posts Will Your Lordship do? Or His Excellency? ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Even better good thinking there.Off to sleep now, long day tomor. Be nice to each other and il try check up on this tomorsweet dreams x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silkworm Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Just wanted to add that I didn't see my post as attacking Josh (I may be misinterpreting how it was viewed). Appreciation of the forum and the work Josh does here, plus being able to express an opinion about a particular issue aren't mutually exclusive. My concerns were about the privacy and confidentiality of Kellie's information mainly, with a punitive response to her request as secondary. I still think that Kellie's request was reasonable.Again, I appreciate this forum..I don't always need to agree with it's policies.Silkworm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 booo whooo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 We like the regular Kellie.All that Peacekeeper power was going to your head anyways. I liked peacekeeper Kellie and regular Kellie and reguardless of title or rank I'm very glad that I know Kellie.Kellie I really appreciated your supportive words. BPD may or may not be an excuse, but it IS a reason for many of our traits and behaviors.We have angry outbursts,We have impulsivenessWe get hurt easily,We have shifting emotionsWe suffer from suicidal thoughts and sometimes express themWe panicWe often act on the moment with out thinking it throughWe get paranoid.We have real and imagined abandonment and it effects us.we have problems with relationships.We get depressed.We think in black and white.We feel empty, alone, isolated, rejected.We are pain warriors, all of usWe make mistakes.... that's not BPD that's being human beings.We all make them. I made one, I was the first BPD member to be moved to the peacekeepers forum and yeah, it hurt. it felt like punishment. I reacted strongly to it. It was an awful time for me! Strangely I knew in advance that something bad was about to happen to me on this forum. I breached terms but it was unintentional and I regretted it later. I paid a very heavy price in the privacy of my secret garden.Despite all that I could see the value of this forum for myself and others. I still support this forum and believe in all that it was set up to do which is to stand by each other, support and help each other. Whether you are a peacekeeper by title or not you can still strive to keep peace and be of value to one another. You don't need some super title to achieve all that.I think we ALL breach the terms of life somewhere in some place. Who hasn't sped or run a red light on the road? Who hasn't exploded when they shouldnt have? Who hasn't said or done the wrong thing at some time in thier life? None of us are infallible. I think we need to give each other room to breathe and make those blunders in life, room to grow, room to move on. Some grace and some space. Especially when we have BPD. Excuse or other wise it is a reality we live every day. Let us not forget that there are real people behind these screen names. They are not impersonal error messages on our screens nor are they disfunctional programs in need of a virus check, they are human beings with feelings and emotions that are often magnified by our symptoms.I hope I never EVER forget what it is like to suffer these symptoms. No matter how well I get, how empowered, what I learn, or what I become... I always want to remember how it felt to struggle with these symptoms and always want to retain the empathy and compassion that I currently have for all those who suffer with it.Paine.ps. I am surprised that this was not discussed in private. It seems reasonable that if someone is being put into and/or removed from a position that a PM with the reasons would be expected.My $3 bill's worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Silkworm Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 booo whooo what a constructive contribution SamsungI am surprised that this was not discussed in private. It seems reasonable that if someone is being put into and/or removed from a position that a PM with the reasons would be expected.Couldn't agree more Paine...great post!Sw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 booo whooo what a constructive contribution SamsungI am surprised that this was not discussed in private. It seems reasonable that if someone is being put into and/or removed from a position that a PM with the reasons would be expected.Couldn't agree more Paine...great post!Swthank you! i always try my best!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marchmadness Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Samsung - Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 booo whooo what a constructive contribution SamsungI am surprised that this was not discussed in private. It seems reasonable that if someone is being put into and/or removed from a position that a PM with the reasons would be expected.Couldn't agree more Paine...great post!Swthank you! i always try my best!!And here was me thinking you had gotten in touch with your inner child! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted May 31, 2007 Report Share Posted May 31, 2007 Im not here to make friends...yes we all want to be taken care of, often because we cant or wont do for ourselves but we as an organisation are not here to soley be careers.yes, part of what we are here for is to support but in any relationship i believe its important that each individual role is equal and each person goes some way to give back what they recieveAll members are equal but some are more equal than others................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelliemanic Posted June 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Please ignore everything I said. I apologise to everyone.I didn't mean anything I said and I take all of it back.Take care all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 booo whooo what a constructive contribution SamsungI am surprised that this was not discussed in private. It seems reasonable that if someone is being put into and/or removed from a position that a PM with the reasons would be expected.Couldn't agree more Paine...great post!Swthank you! i always try my best!!And here was me thinking you had gotten in touch with your inner child!nope!!we are one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Just wanted to add that I didn't see my post as attacking Josh (I may be misinterpreting how it was viewed). Appreciation of the forum and the work Josh does here, plus being able to express an opinion about a particular issue aren't mutually exclusive. My concerns were about the privacy and confidentiality of Kellie's information mainly, with a punitive response to her request as secondary. I still think that Kellie's request was reasonable.Again, I appreciate this forum..I don't always need to agree with it's policies.Silkworm If someone posts something thats their choice, consideration of protecting others identity must be given. In this case it wasnt and the power to remove posts on the forum was used inapropriately. as a result these were taken away, and a member of staff removed names that should never have been posted gieven the concerns at the time.Thats why we have a staff team.A member of staff did contact the person this is related to explaining why they were no longer a peace keeper, this message was ignored and this topic was posted.i hope the public discussion on this matter filled the need that it was intended to.I posted this earlier on in the thread, there was a choice to discuss this via PM, Kellie made a choice to discuss it here. Thats her choice and not against the rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsung Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 :sofa: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelliemanic Posted June 1, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 Sunday May 27 2007, 05:33 PM I asked Joshua to delete my life story post, as I was concerned people could google my screen name and read it. I was scared about my abusers putting two and two together.I was told no.Even though Joshua owns this site, he was not prepared to delete the post for me, I expressed that I felt endangered by it, and scared.Because my request was ignored I wrongly(?) took matters into my own hands and invisibled my post.10:06 PMBets manages to do for me EXACTLY what Joshua wouldn't... She sent me a message saying she'd deleted most of my post... ****(Are you allowed to delete them or not???...because staff seem to have mixed messages)****Yesterday...i.e. Thursday I logged on and realised my peacekeepers title was not there.I checked my messages and checked...no info...checked notice board...no changes there.So wrote a topic about it.After I'd written the topic someone finally sends me a PM telling me that invisibling my post breeched rules etc.GET THAT: PM AFTER topic started....Now It's being made out that I knew from the off about my "punishment" and that I decided after being PM'd to write a topic about it...which simply isn't true. Try not to make me out to be a total wanker Joshua.If you'd told me what was going on when you made your little decisions to stop me from being peacekeeper in the first place...then I wouldn't have been so public about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 I will speak with betsy, Thank you. And no posts are not to be deleted.I offered to remove the names of your abusers from your posts but unless your abusers have been convicted what you did was illegal and you should of considered the consequences of what you posted.Emma did explain to you why your peacekeeper status was removed. The long and short of it is, you asked for a post to be removed, i agreed to remove the name of your abusers and offered to change your name, you didnt reply to me and decided to take things into your own hands and invisible your posts and then contact various other members of the team until you got exactly what you wanted. Using your peacekeeper position in the way you did is against the site rules and you faced the consequences (quite happily, you said earlier in the post) Try not to make me out to be a total wanker Joshua.If you'd told me what was going on when you made your little decisions to stop me from being peacekeeper in the first place...then I wouldn't have been so public about it.I am not making you out to be anything, this is your own perception. There are rules on this site as there are in many places throughout society and these must be adheard to. Should you not wish to abide by them or face the consequences of them once you have, then maybe you should find a site free from rules or maybe set up your own and see the problems caused when there is a lack of boundaries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 i edited and removed all most all of the post in response to kellies pm that was quite distressed. i read only the pm and not the posts before doing the removal. if i had thought of it i would have only removed the identifying pieces but i didnt realize that had already been done. this was clearly the appropriate action.i believe in your pm, sorry if this is wrong i cant check because i deleted the pm, but i believe you said you invisibled your own post and you knew that was wrong. that is clearly an abuse of the peacekeeper status and is stated in such a way that it cant be missunderstood.i am sorry to have caused all this disention and next time would handle it in a way that is in line with the current rules. it is my hope that everyone gets over this quickly and comes back together.bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted June 1, 2007 Report Share Posted June 1, 2007 i edited and removed all most all of the post in response to kellies pm that was quite distressed. i read only the pm and not the posts before doing the removal. if i had thought of it i would have only removed the identifying pieces but i didnt realize that had already been done. this was clearly the appropriate action.i believe in your pm, sorry if this is wrong i cant check because i deleted the pm, but i believe you said you invisibled your own post and you knew that was wrong. that is clearly an abuse of the peacekeeper status and is stated in such a way that it cant be missunderstood.i am sorry to have caused all this disention and next time would handle it in a way that is in line with the current rules. it is my hope that everyone gets over this quickly and comes back together.betsThanks bets, its very good of you to of responded and been so honest and open. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelliemanic Posted June 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2007 i edited and removed all most all of the post in response to kellies pm that was quite distressed. i read only the pm and not the posts before doing the removal. if i had thought of it i would have only removed the identifying pieces but i didnt realize that had already been done. this was clearly the appropriate action.i believe in your pm, sorry if this is wrong i cant check because i deleted the pm, but i believe you said you invisibled your own post and you knew that was wrong. that is clearly an abuse of the peacekeeper status and is stated in such a way that it cant be missunderstood.i am sorry to have caused all this disention and next time would handle it in a way that is in line with the current rules. it is my hope that everyone gets over this quickly and comes back together.betsThankyou bets.Take care.KellieXxXX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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