lonelygarden Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 i feel so isolated, i talk and nobody listens or answers, its the sadist feeling to turn to the internet for a voice and then see in black and white YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. NO MESSAGES.NO COMMENTS. wow its like being kicked again and again.my family claim they didn't know i was talking to them or they didn't hear me or they say they are listening but later or next day i say the same thing and they say why didn't you say something before. i want to scream, in fact sometimes i do into my pillow.i talk to myself sometimes and my mother who died years ago it doesn't really help. i'm not sure why i'm writing this i know no one will read it or reply Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 You have five posts....been here a very short amount of time....I am sure you will fit in just fine here but as per everything it takes a little time and work in making yourself known.Hope things look up soon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doormouse Posted June 14, 2007 Report Share Posted June 14, 2007 Hiya,just to let you know you are not alone - I know when I've posted stuff here or on other groups I@ve been part of and I dont' get a response I feel rejected and alone I find it hard not to take things personally and I start randomly speculating and fantasising about reaons why people are "ignoring" me. It's gonna sound very condescending, but its taken me years and years to realise that its part of my head and the stuff that goes wrong in it. This doesn't mean I feel any less rejected or alone,or make those feelings any less real or painful - just that when I am ok and I can rationalise things that I know thats not whats really hapening - its just that sometimes people are busy or just don't know what to say.Sorry if this is unhelpful - hope I can talk to you here sometimeMousey :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loulou1330 Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Hiya L-GardenYou are never alone here and everyone listens, it's just sometimes it's difficult to reply for any number of reasons. But believe u me, this is the one place on this planet that i know someone will here me, so don't give up hope and keep posting it does get easier honest (those of u that know me could be saying '...pot...kettle...black' - i know i know)So see if i can keep coming back to be heard so can you. tc xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelygarden Posted June 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 You have five posts....been here a very short amount of time....I am sure you will fit in just fine here but as per everything it takes a little time and work in making yourself known.Hope things look up soonsorry i didn't realise that i was limited, will only make 1 post a day max, was just relieved i had somewhere to say this stuff, didn't mean to do it wrong, so will answer other posts over next four days. i wasn't talking so much about not being listened to here i was talking in general, my psychiatrist says i have issues with no one listening. will keep it in again so sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebeccaborderline Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Hi LonelyGarden, I don't think that that was what Joshua meant at all, you are not limited to the number of posts you make a day, post away to your hearts content!I think he just meant that you are relatively new so if you don't get huge response to your posts it may be because people don't know you much yet, although like all our members you are very welcome here. Or it may just be because the boards are quiet at the moment; or that people are having a tough day of their own and can't find words to comfort you; or any another reason. So please be assured that you can post as much as you want; people will read your posts and will respond to you if they canTake carerebeccaborderline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vorpalblade Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Don't be soft! Joshua was pointing out that you haven't been here long, that you have only made 5 posts, therefopre people don't know you and may be a little unsure of how to reply to you. Stop twisting things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chal Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 yeah im new too and have been worried that i have said something wrong, i am terrified of rejection and for some reason am convinced all teh time that i will be rejected, but its good to share our fears and failings, when nobody responded to my first post and were just looking at it i thought that people were rejecting me cause i was fake, and an a hole, so i need to come to terms with my fear of rejection, but why would i try and please people who i thought were possibly going to reject me. i think i might go and introduce myself....chal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doormouse Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 Welcome chal - and lonely garden too - I'm crap at getting to know people and even worse at keeping up with people on here !- hope you find friends here. I know I have, but it is hard and it does take time. Not that this makes it any easier - or faster!!Mouseyx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted June 15, 2007 Report Share Posted June 15, 2007 You've been posting here about 24 hours so You've had a quite good response and I hope that will keep up, provided you just keep us posted and don't tell us you thought we didn't care (which naturally is only off putting).Josh previously suggested to someone they limit themselves to one new thread per section of the forum per day because that person posted hundreds of times every day so it was difficult to follow & help that person, and you are wel short of that guideline as yet Yes he means it's early days - or even hours- yet.Remember, the people who have the closest empathy with you might see your thread in a few days time and add their responses.We are all in roughly the same sort of boat from sadness or trauma or troubles but some have had the very serious kind of trauma and abuse you have been through.There is an abuse section of the forum, if you don't understand how to access it keep on asking, besides the forum there is a system of submitting 'tickets' with enquiries of different kinds.Very welcome to youAlso, many members make a point of watching the 'Introductions' section and responding to people that posted there, so you might like to say 'hi' in that section soon ...There is a separate chat room but the forum itself is far slower moving.After my mother died I tallked to her and now I find when there is someone receptive I tell them the same things, so with Mum it was a practice run ...:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted June 22, 2007 Report Share Posted June 22, 2007 You have five posts....been here a very short amount of time....I am sure you will fit in just fine here but as per everything it takes a little time and work in making yourself known.Hope things look up soonsorry i didn't realise that i was limited, will only make 1 post a day max, was just relieved i had somewhere to say this stuff, didn't mean to do it wrong, so will answer other posts over next four days. i wasn't talking so much about not being listened to here i was talking in general, my psychiatrist says i have issues with no one listening. will keep it in again so sorryHi Lonely,I think you completely misunderstood Josh's post. He was not chastising you for making 5 posts, he was pointing out that you haven't been here very long so try and give it some more time. Actually his post was quite nice and encouraging. if you re read it remembering that he is just saying "hey there, its early days yet. give it some time" you might see it in a different light.It's so easy on the internet to take things wrong because all we have is text to look at with no body language, facial expressions, or tone in the voice to go by. Sometimes if you take something badly it's worth going away for a breather and then coming back for a second read to see if you still see it that way. Not critising you at all... just a suggestion because I often take things online wrong and have to practice this method to make sure I'm reading it right.Welcome to the forum. I know what it's like to feel lonely and ignored and when you are feeling that way it's very hard to see the rational side of it that maybe people are just not in a position to answer for some reason. Once again you have to take a step back and assess "is what I am feeling an actuality or is it just a feeling" Your feelings are very real and valid. I'm glad you have been able to express them here and feel safe to do so. Feelings are funny things. They arn't always the truth of the matter at all. I'm currently in the process of sorting out my feelings from facts. I'm training myself to say "I feel... this or that" rather than I AM this or that. There is a huge difference between describing your feelings and what you are going through and labeling them as just facts.I know that I also get frustrated by family members who say "why didn't you say so sooner" when I've been trying to tell them the problem for WEEKS! Sometimes I go to extreme measures to be heard when I don't feel heard and other times I just shut down and let it all implode inside me. just be reassured that this forum is a very good place to be heard. Even if you get no replies someone will have read it. You can see how many people have at least opened a post. Even if they havn't replied they have read you. There could be any number of reasons why they didn't reply.This post is as much for me as it is for you because I'm feeling very lonely and isolated myself lately and I'm trying to put it all in persepective.paine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kopfwetter Posted June 22, 2007 Report Share Posted June 22, 2007 As for the Friends List issue, I don't know about others, but I have developed the tendency to be hesitant about Friending people on any online communication service. When I first got online and got a yahoo account, I added a great many people I chatted with in chat rooms to my buddy list. I eventually realized that few if any had any interest in ever chatting with me, which was... not uplifting, to say the least. So I rarely add people to my buddy lists now, they are all rather brief. I generally only add people if I've spoken to them a number of times, and even then, I rarely chat with people on my lists... What I'm saying is it is important to remind yourself to not assign any importance to the size of your Friends Lists. I know it is difficult...I hope you feel better. Keep posting here, I know the few posts I've made so far have made me feel better.Be well. -Kopfwetter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amanda28 Posted June 23, 2007 Report Share Posted June 23, 2007 see i can relate to the feelings of being rejected as i've been here for months and a lot of posts i start whether they be negative or positive i can count on both hand how many replies i get, that's not the point though, the point is that as long as i'm not keeping things to myself it means they are no longer 'secrets' and i can have relief in knowing i have gotten things off my chest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miko Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 I have never used "friends", "buddies" or "address book" in any application, as I have not been aware of a use for these features, maybe there are more people like that than just me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbrown3813 Posted June 25, 2007 Report Share Posted June 25, 2007 I am also new here but have found the people great. They listen! I have been down myself and not responded to much but things will change.Kim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
becsnoamp Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 HiYeah I find it comforting coming to here to realize I'm not the only one that feels like a flaming freak in life. Some of the posts I've read on here have really given me comfort and helped me have a good night's sleep, instead of lying awake all night analyzing why people start off friendly with me and then suddenly no longer want to know me, and I just cannot fathom out what I have done wrong to make them do that to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marchmadness Posted July 21, 2007 Report Share Posted July 21, 2007 Hey -As with any place when you are new you hope that you will be accepted. It takes timeto get to know people and for people to know us. I was scared when I first joined, andhoped and wanted to fit in. After some time, I felt at ease here, meeting others whocould understand what I was saying. I was replying to other threads, and opening uptowards people here about my own experiences. It has help a great deal. Just giveit some time, and you will feel different. Take care.Marchmadness Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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