Telling People

[darkangelwitch666]

I'm trying to find a way of telling people what I have. But how do you tell them without sounding mad?. I know its head if you find it hard to come to treams with it yourself. I just wanted to know, how did you tell you'll family and friends? Also what were thsy like after?.

My Boyfriends down in England with his family for a few weeks, and was not here when I was told. I find it hard to tell him on the phone what was said. So I sent him a link to this site for a read. Not sure if I did the right thing, or should not have said anything.

[Betsy]

darkangel,

I think telling or not telling is up to each individual. A diagnosis is just a label... they already know how you act and are. If you think it will help them to understand you it might be a good thing to tell. If you think they might persecute you for it then it wouldn't be so good to tell.

Well as for your boyfriend you have already done that so right or wrong that is how it is. The bad aspect I can see is if sometime you want to vent about him he will be able to read it and it might hurt him.

Try not to get to freaked out with your dx, there are plenty of us here with multiple dx's and it really is just a label and doesn't change anything. The struggles will be the same whether you knew what to call it or not.

There are a lot of supportive people here and that is a good thing. You have found a place to be accepted and get support and feed back.

bets

[LadyMacbeth]

Betsy is right. BPD is just a label and does not define you as a person. I would be careful who you tell. You must be able to trust that person because many people just do not understand what BPD is or understand what a personality disorder is. I am careful the only people that know apart from family members are a few closest friends. The next guy I get into a relationship with will not know unless we have been together for awhile. My traits are not as transparent. Of course anyone can tell by just talking to me for awhile that I am a very emotional person but I suffer silently rather then in the open. Its your call but just be cautious.

LM

[kraaken]

Dear Darkangelwitch,

Some days I want to be open and tell my friends about BPD, but other days I want to keep it private, depending what mood I'm in.

As I'm living with my parents just now and they were asking about it, I told them. My mother is very supportive, but sometimes I wish she hadn't heard about BPD when she starts talking like she knows what it's all about.

I posted one friend an article about it after losing my temper during a phone call and swearing at her. She hasn't mentioned reading it or what she thinks but we are talking again as before and it's okay.

Bye for now,

K

[darkangelwitch666]

Thank you all for your reply! I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, so I had to let him know why I am the way I am... I have not told anyone else, I know that in time I may tell a few friends, but not sure yet! Trust is something I don't have, being behide a computer and saying stuff, helps, as the poeple don't know who you are, and cannot really hurt you.

I think until I can really get my head around it all, its best I keep it to myself. But I want to thank you all for the support. :)

[calyps]

Hey there,

I found it easier to explain my diagnosis to people who had been with me through my journey of suffering. You say you've been with your boyfriend for 3 years so he must surely know that something is not right so wouldn't he be relieved to put a name on it? I basically don't tell anyone I can't trust, I have lost people from my life because they couldn't deal with me/the BPD- I'm still not sure where one begins and the other ends. Have to remember that the diagnosis describes the suffering, not who I am.

Anwen

[Ginny]

D A W - I would trust your instincts babe. There is a lot of people who would be quite happy to accept your BPD dx., and a lot of people who wouldn't..... I think you should trust yourself to know the difference and only really explain if it has a direct effect on their lives or yours..... Take care hun

Ginny :bigarmhug[1]:

[paddypotty]

I would be cautious with telling people about the label of bpd,but that is only because of my own issues of trust,if your relationship is solid and open then it should be able to get through this,I wish you well.

[darkangelwitch666]

Hey there,

I found it easier to explain my diagnosis to people who had been with me through my journey of suffering.  You say you've been with your boyfriend for 3 years so he must surely know that something is not right so wouldn't he be relieved to put a name on it?  I basically don't tell anyone I can't trust, I have lost people from my life because they couldn't deal with me/the BPD- I'm still not sure where one begins and the other ends.  Have to remember that the diagnosis describes the suffering, not who I am.

Anwen

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I usderstand what you are saying! He as put up with a hell of alot, and I knew I had to tell him. But my worrys was how to. I don't really want to sit face to face and talk about it. I found it easy sending the link to him. He as not said much, but told me, that he as been around this long, why would he run off now?. Lets hope he mean its.

To be truful, I have suit myself away from the time I found out, I have not bother to contact friends or family. And the worry for my boyfriend was I did not ring him today. I don't know why I'm being like this? Anyway life goes on.

Also thanks to Ginny and paddypotty for your reply. :)

[paddypotty]

Sometimes you just need time alone,consider whats been going on in your life etc.

Your boyfriend sounds very positive.take care.