Maddness

[Trace]

I have seriously wrecked a relationship..the things I said to this person are not nice. I really wanted them to love me the way I need to be loved...and I always end up verbally abusing people when I get frustrated that I cant get them to love me 24/7...its not a romantic love its a motherly love I want..I want people to think about all the time to feel symphaphy for me all the time but I HATE HATE feeling like this...when will this end???I am married with children of my own and give more importance to getting symphaphy from others mainly older women, then I give to loving my family..which really I feel incapable of anyways...I am like a dummy in a chair..just a body in family with no inners!...I so desperately want to be different...how can I start???

[kraaken]

Hi Trace

Yes it's a horrible feeling having reached out for affection and being rejected. I still go over and over times I've been rejected, wondering what I did wrong to deserve it.

However I have learned that other people have got their limits and so I have lowered my expectations of them. Now I appreciate small gestures so much more, like a "good morning" from a stranger. Sometime I have also picked up the notion that "what you give is what you get", for example if you are angry the other person may react with anger, or if you smile at someone they may smile back.

Have you got a therapist or counsellor? Do you keep a diary?

Bye for now,

K

[LadyMacbeth]

I agree with K. You need to lower your expectations about people. I have done that and I am happier for doing it. My relationships are actually better because of it. I know rejection is one of the worst feelings but we can't avoid people and we cannot avoid being hurt so we have to figure out ways in order to cope with it. If you do not expect that much from people you actually cannot be disappointed.

Take care,

LM

[Trace]

I agree with K. You need to lower your expectations about people. I have done that and I am happier for doing it. My relationships are actually better because of it. I know rejection is one of the worst feelings but we can't avoid people and we cannot avoid being hurt so we have to figure out ways in order to cope with it. If you do not expect that much from people you actually cannot be disappointed.

Take care,

LM

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks yes I do have a therapist and have discussed this with her, and yes I do need to lower my expectations. Wow thats gonna be a hard one, expecially as I expect so much from myself, maybe I need to work some more on my projecting.