pinklady66 Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 I find out Tuesday if I am bipolar. I have had some signs that I might be. I went through days of depression and then days of highs. I read some stuff online that pertains to bp. Some of it I fit and others I don't. I will still say that I have bpd. Maybe I have both. May be the bipolar is the curse that has been bugging me for most of my life. I'm scared really. I sat back this weekend and did some remembering about my childhood and I recalled long periods of sadness and others as being a hyper and happy child. Both lasted a long time each. I am going to bring these finding up with my psych and see what he has to say. I need to have the right dx so I can get on the road to recovery. I want the right meds so my moods can be stabalized. Right now, they are wonky. I'm up and down like a yo-yo. Although today, I have been eeribly calm. It scares me. Nothing seems right to me. I am afraid of myself. What scares me the most is that I think that my daughter has the same affliction....bpd. She is showing the signs of it. Now she is at an eerie sort of calm too. Her and I seem to go out of whack at the same time. Last week she was on the high end of temperment. Then she had crying spells, and the next minute she will be laughing. I have got her seeing a child psych. I suppose I can ask her if she thinks there is something more deeper going on with my daughter and if it can be the start of bpd or bipolar. I'm just babbling again....leave it to me :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 bipolar and bpd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 I am glad you are looking forward to the road to recovery! I am happy that everything will be sorted out on Tues. Try not to read too much stuff on the net I have the same habit and it usually does not help because we are not professionals. It can be scary looking at things that we really don't know what they are. Sometimes its easy for me to look at something on the ineternet and persuade myself I have it. Although we do understand ourselves very well! Don't be afraid of yourself you have been helping yourself by finding the right dx so you can stabilize your moods. You know you need help and you are seeking it. Be proud of yourself! Its good you have your daughter seeing a child psychiatrist! Its better to start out at a young age especially if she does have some kind of problem they can treat it at a early age. You are doing well for yourself and your family. You have taken the right step. Good on you! LM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostsoul Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 i just wanted to point out the existence of something called cyclothymia, which is a kind of minier version of bi-polar. you still get the mood swings but they are not as massive as in bi-polar. i once met a bi-polor individual, and was warned before that she might be very scary. when i met her she was in a manic phase. i now know what having true bi-polar means - if you are very badly bi-polar. i mean she was just TOTALLY off the planet. you couldn't hold a conversation with her at all. she would bounce from subject to subject and not even know she was doing it. that was prolly the biggest scray factor - she seemed completely unaware that she was acting strangely. she was talking all sorts of crap too about landing a job as a teacher when we both knew she had not. she was threatening me with a flick knife as well, but thought this was hysterical. everything you could be inappropriate about, she was. it was so obvious she was really ill. i think a lot of people get mood swings. it is the degree they get them that defines bi-polar, and also how aware you are when you have them. cyclothymia and bpd are very linked together as disorders, to the point where people are now considering whether bpd is better explained a s cyclothymia. check out the reading on it if you like. i think its in the bpd section (not the new one) and is called cyclothymia and bpd. for all i know you could have bi-polar, or neither cyclothymia or bi-polar, but i guess from what you wrote i suspect you might fall down on the cyclothymia side rather than the bi-polar, if at all. good luck! and remember, it is more important to understand the underlying chemical causes of a serious mood disorder, and treat that knowingly, rather than treat the 'label' if that makes sense. hugs lost xx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyMacbeth Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 In continuation to what Soul stated about bi-polar I knew a sixteen year old girl from work who was constantly in and out of psychiatric hospitals for trying to kill herself. She also was on many different medications for her symptoms. When I first met the girl she asked me if she should sleep with this 40 year old cop because she was in love with him and I told her it was a stupid idea. But, she did it and it was to gain attention. She was a real big attention seeker. She actually may have BPD as well come to think of it. She always thought everyone was abandoning her. She had once made cuts all over her body and took off all her clothes to show my manager in his office. She once called me on the phone stating she was cutting herself. When she got into one of her manic moods she was off the wall and even worse when she came down. Sometimes we thought she would kill us because she changed moods so drastically and she became really scary. I have a friend who told me she was bi-polar and borderline schizophrenic. She is not on any medications for this and I have never seen her moods shift. I know she gets depressed but she can hide it very well. She used to cut herself, do drugs, and purge when she was younger but she is fine now. I do not know where she got the diagnosis I am thinking that maybe she made it up because I have never seen her show any sign of being anything but other than depressed. But, who knows. LM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/borderline.htm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Hi Pinklady, I am Bipolar II rapid cycling. I know you are scared, I went through this last summer. Figuring out which was the right dx, and all that. I ended up both. I was first dx'd with bp many years ago when I was 12 but there was no follow up (I'm 31 now). Thats a long story and I won't get into it. Then last summer, they just couldn't make up their mind about it but they were sure I had BPD. My psychiatrist told me that they use the same meds for both diagnoses, so as long as you are being treated for your symptoms, thats all that matters. (I really did go through the same thing as you are right now, I asked her all these questions). As lostsoul mentioned, there is a very strong connection between BPD and cyclothymia. Once you have had cyclothymia for 2 years, your dx may be changed to bpII or even bpI depending on whether or not it progresses. I have read alot about BPD, and BP since my dx's. It is scrary to be in limbo about what exactly is going on with you, but hang in there. I have a 9 year old son that is just being dx'd with ADHD. They are thinking there is a possibility he may also have emotional problems. I have a strong family history of mental illness on my mother's side. I am concerned about him and the possibility that something far more that just ADHD may be going on. I am currently taking him to a psychologist (his third appointment is next week) to see. This is the doctor that dx'd him with ADHD, he was referred by our family doc. My son really likes him and so do I. We have our children in treatment early which is wonderful. If there is something going on, then we are doing everything in our power to help them now. Take care, Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Doctor D, Thank you for the bipolar and bpd site. It was new for me, but interesting and I especially liked the diagrahms of the braina and the explanations. Thanks! XX Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor Dysphoria Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Doctor D, Thank you for the bipolar and bpd site. It was new for me, but interesting and I especially liked the diagrahms of the braina and the explanations. Thanks! XX Ann <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm glad you found it interesting . There is lots of good info there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Doctor D, Could you please tell me where the site is? I looked all over the thread and don't see it. I would appreciate it so much. Thank you Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Delicate, It's in post #2. You can click on these words in the post. bipolar and bpd XX Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy Posted January 17, 2005 Report Share Posted January 17, 2005 Thank you Verbena!! I overlook the obvious at times. Amy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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