flowergirl Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 I have had depression since the age of about 10 years on and off, now 30. I have had at differing times since that point, a child psychologist, a psychiatric assessment, a CPN, counsellor, mental health nurses, and found none really helpful. I did have counselling through my health visitor after having Post Natal Depression and found her helpful but short lived. On my last visit to see my GP I told him that I had been struggling and had increased my Fluoxetine. I have previously been on Amitryptaline, Fluoxetine, Paroxetine and Mirtazapine. My GP told me that I must make contact with the R*pe and S**ual A***e Crisis Centre and seek professional counselling through them as I cannot continue on medication indefinately. He also said that I am not helping myself by not seeking counselling and cannot become dependent on medication. I am now having to try and convince him that I am seeking counselling so that he will give me my meds. I am agoraphobic and the thought of having to go out and make contact with a stranger terrifies me, this together with the fact that I am going to have to, face-to-face, tell a stranger my most dirty secrets makes me feel frightened to death. Does therapy actually work anyway, as I haven't had very good experiences in the past. I don't want to feel this way all the time and I don't want to have to rely on medication but threatening to take them away won't make me better either. Sorry this is a rant and I don't know if it should be here but just wanted to let it go. Flowergirl x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Hi Flowergirl can your dr stop your meds like that? but i agree with talking to your local r*p* & s*x**l *b*s* center! i know my local one will come out to your house if needs be! they are better a better counselling service as most of the counsellor's are survivors themselves. so they understand what your going through give them a ring and speak to them like all counselling services they are not allowed to disclose any information about yourself to anyone Take care Traceyxxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Flowergirl, (((((hugs))))) I understand your distress and fear - however, I also think you should consult someone at the centre you were talking of. Medication is merely a way of masking the symptoms of the thngs that trouble us the most. I agree with meds in terms of the fact that they help us cope...but I would LOVE to be free of meds one day - due to therapy - and I truly believe that letting out your pain will help you..... Please seek the help you need.. Ginny :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flowergirl Posted January 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Thank you both for your replies. I know deep down that I should contact someone but I kind of hoped that this site could be my virtual therapist, thus not having to leave home and having the safety of being unknown and unseen. I don't think that I am strong enough to contact anyone else just yet. I have no idea what to say or where to start in talking with anyone. I feel tired of trying and I know no matter how much I talk I cannot change my past which is really all I want to do, to change it or forget it ever happened. Not very realistic I know but hopeful. Flowergirl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Flowergirl, you cannot change your past, but, you can change your future. It is often a painful process, therapy, and takes a long time. but it can make things better. with your depression you may need medication lifelong, may i said not will. a lot of us have chemical imbalances in our brain that need correcting. meds alone won't do it though... you still have to work through the crap one way or another. how can we help you get the courage to take the first step? (((((((((((((((( Flowergirl ))))))))))))))))))))))))) bets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Flowergirl, Meds alone aren't fixing anything. You can take meds allllll day looooong and not grow as a person. On the other hand, some people (me) can go to therapy and see really good therapists, but if you can't slow down enough to concentrate/learn/practice new strategy, it's a waste of time, and you'll probably sour on the idea of therapy. The two together have made a great difference in my life. There are a couple( ) things I need to work on, but I'm sleeping better, I'm not crying all the time, I'm not having panic attacks, the sound of my husband's voice doesn't feel like a knife in my head anymore. Yes, I may be on medication for a long time, but it isn't them alone that are making it possible to get up in the morning without crying because I woke up alive. XX Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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