lucy Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 so since psychotherpay finished on dec 20th i have taken to waitng outside where Dr A does therpay on a monday and waiting till he finishes just so i can see him, then i wait till he pulls off then follow him till i have to turn off so how strange is this?? does anyone else do it?? why do i do it so i cansee his face, to check he is alive i guess its like a complusion even through i know that i shouldntits gets to near the time or sessios finish and i jump in the car so i can see his face, i dont get out the car i tend to sit just out of view and wait Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippy Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 I used to do it, there has been various teachers/lecturers that i had where i used to wait in a particular place that i knew they would drive past just to get a glimpse. For me i guess it was comforting i dont know why i did it. Maybe you arent quite ready to move on but things have moved on without you. take care flippy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 lucy, I have experienced this compulsion as well. At the moment, there are two therapists whose voices I need to hear occasionally. I call the one and don't speak, just listen to his voice, but in my head I am screaming at him, asking questions..the other is from 25 years ago, and he and his wife are very kind to me. I don't know why I carry them with me this way. XX Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kraaken Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Dear Lucy, Thanks for posting. About 12 years ago I was obsessed with a PE instructor/lecturer at university. I went to all her classes, and started taking on some of her mannerisms. I started off being unfit and overweight, but really got into shape, and the depressed feelings I'd had had gone, and my exam phobia had disappeared. I used to get excited at the prospect of seeing her, whether I was going to her classes or not, and I would hang around inside the PE building a lot, except when I had lectures or other classes to go to. I wanted to be just like her. I learned her car number plate. I got my hair done similarly. (film Single White Female?) When I left university, she started up her own class in a school opposite her flat, and it was twice a week. She asked me if I would like to take the money at the door, and I was delighted. She always seemed happy and relaxed, and was very popular; there were a lot of regulars at her classes. I took up netball because she used to play for Scotland. I thought about her constantly and even went to her classes when I was a bit poorly with a cold or period pain. Sometimes I would go jogging and run along the road where her flat was, and look up for a light in her window to see if she was in. Once or twice I went into the building and up the stairs to her level, and thought about ringing the doorbell. So this went on for some months. Until, one night I wrote her a letter saying I had feelings for her, and unfortunately I posted it. I immediately regretted that. The next time I saw her I was trying to pretend nothing had happened. But she waited until after the class was finished and everyone had gone. I was starting to leave, but she said she wanted to talk to me. Well my heart was pounding with hope. She asked if she had done anything to encourage me to think of her that way, and all I could say was 'no' and that 'it's just a crush'. However, things were never the same again. And for a long time afterwards I still went jogging along her road, even when she stopped doing her classes. Well, even after all this time and knowing that she would probably cringe, I sent her a Christmas card in December, to her work address that I got off the university's website. I put a short note in the card and mentioned that I had now been diagnosed with BPD. Of course I haven't heard from her. She probably feels sorry for me. Glad I got that out in the open... K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lucy Posted January 19, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 the thing is when i read the responses it makes sense, i can see why you did that k, my ideas go far beyond what i have done, and your right it is nice to have someone say yep me to thankyou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 kraaken, You break my heart, because I understand how you felt every step of the way. I think it's good, the second letter you sent. It may expain things to her a bit. She sounds like a good person, and I'm sure she wishes the best for you, but is letting you get on with your life and work on yourself. XX Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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