topo Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 I have NO idea if this is working or not: new format for me. My daughter got home last night -- she's 20 -- from a psych hosp where she'd spend 5 days. There, she was finally diagnosed: borderline pers. disorder. They, of course, tossed the whole thing in my lap: find her therapy, talk her INTO therapy, etc. I just don't know where to start, what to do, how to act, what to expect/ask of her, etc. I thought hooking up with some kind of support system/group would be a good beginning. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verbena Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Good start. Read and learn, but maybe even more importantly, learn from your daughter. We're here to support you both. Good luck to you. Ann Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkangelwitch666 Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 I'm just a newbe here, and not long been told myself! I'm sure its hard for you both. But I think maybe the best place to start, is asking how she feels about it all, and leaning about BPD together. Then you both won't feel so alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexa Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 wow what a caring person, you've made a great start! Like Ann said, you will learn lots here. :welcomeani: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tory Posted January 18, 2005 Report Share Posted January 18, 2005 Welcome to the site. Your daughter is lucky to have u. There is loads of info on the site. There are also some books bout bpd ("walking on eggshells" is meant for people close to someone with bpd) You can find info on books here - http://www.bpdworld.org/books_bpd.php There is also a forum for friends and family of someone with mental ill health. http://www.bpdworld.org/bpdfriends/ I hope you like it here and find it helpful. Take care tory Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calyps Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 Welcome, My heart goes out to you having to see someone you love struggle with this. When I first got diagnosed research into it was a life saver, and what i choose to share with those I love helps them to understand me. I wish I had a mother like you, mine can't handle it all and turned her back- makes it all worse really, thanks for recognising our need for compassion and support. Anwen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginny Posted January 19, 2005 Report Share Posted January 19, 2005 What a wonderful mother - so many of us would have got through so much better if we had a mother as supportive and loving as you. Topo, I have to tell you, you have a lot to go through (as you probably already know!) but there IS help for you AND your daughter. We hope to see her on the site too.... There is therapists and many resources you can access through the site and as others have said, many books to read for both you and your daughter. to the site Topo Ginny ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pinklady66 Posted January 22, 2005 Report Share Posted January 22, 2005 Welcome Topo: This site is a great one. You can talk to people who have bpd and get their support. They can help you understand what is happening to your daughter and support you on what you need to do to help her. Being a caretaker of someone who is mentally ill is a very difficult task. My husband is my caretaker, and I have to admit, he knows this is very taxing. I have been in and out of hospital five times. Last year has been a bad one. I hope this works for you. We all for helping you. xx Pinklady... :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
star Posted January 22, 2005 Report Share Posted January 22, 2005 welcome to bpdworld. sorry to hear the so-called professionals seem to have dumped everything in your lap without any real help I hope you find this site helpful and informative I would go see your daughters local gp and ask for some pratical advice and help in dealing with this new diagnosis for both of you hugs star x :wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kraaken Posted January 22, 2005 Report Share Posted January 22, 2005 Dear Topo, Well done for making the effort to understand your daughter's situation. I am very lucky that my own mother has been trying very very hard over the last three years to help and support me, but I'm sorry to say I haven't appreciated until recently her point of view. Do you and your daughter talk to each other much? This was hard for my mother because I had gone introverted for a long time, I didn't think she understood, and I resented her calling me an alcoholic. Also I'd been afraid of her, going back several years, and hadn't had 'the teenage years' of arguing with her even although I am now 33 years old. Maybe that is part of BPD, so-called "acting-in" when something would annoy me about my mum I would keep it to myself, and eventually doing self-harming. Before Christmas I had been shouting at my mum a bit randomly, as I would get angry and then look for reasons I was angry and take it out on my mum. It seemed to be getting worse and my counsellor said I should write a letter to my mum as I felt incapable of sitting down and talking to her as I didn't want to be interrupted and lose my concentration. I didn't want to write to her let alone talk to her. It was like I'd put up a wall around me. Well my mum took the time to write back to me and I felt better knowing she cared. Since then we have been communicating quite well. (Also my moods have been a bit better after starting to take the EPA fish oils from www.mind1st.co.uk). Anyway it really helped me to know that my mum was making an effort, and she said it had been extremely helpful to get the letter from me, as she hadn't been able to understand my moody behaviour. It would be good if you could suggest the bpdworld forums to your daughter, although she might need the confidentiality of knowing that you couldn't read her postings, in which case you could ask to be banned from all forums except the parental/carer forum. As for therapy the psychiatrist should be able to refer your daughter for this. The most effective one for BPD is supposed to be Dialectical Behavioural Therapy. The textbook about it is "Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Borderline Personality Disorder" by Marsha Linehan, which is available on Amazon.co.uk I was diagnosed with BPD in November 2004 after being in hospital and am getting counselling from a day centre in the town where I'm living with my parents. The psychiatrist said she referred me for psychotherapy but there is usually a long waiting list, e.g. several months, so it is good that I have got the counselling in the meantime. If you can afford a private therapist's fees it would be quicker but I think the therapy needs to continue for a long time. Well bye for now, K Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktodee_27 Posted January 23, 2005 Report Share Posted January 23, 2005 Here is another excellent resource for you. It is a support group for parents of children diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LifeOnTheBorder/ You may have to enroll on yahoo groups first to use it. Good luck, Katiexx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.