Just Sketching!

[pinklady66]

I was at my friends' tonight and I had a panic attack. It was so bad that I felt like asking my husband to take me home. I couldn't understand why I had it. Every time I spoke, I was nervous. Under normal circumstances I wouldn't have been nervous...I have known these people for over two years ago. It was just me and not them.

It was weird. I sat in the living room wondering if I acted like I was normal. The feeling I was getting was overwhelming. I tried my best to make small talk and I couldn't get the words out right, or if I did I sounded really nervous. I knew that my friend could tell that I was on edge. I had to pretend that everything was okay.

They know about the hell I have been through in the last seven months. Maybe it was that; the fact that they know. I sat in a paranoia thinking that they were searching me to see if I was normal or not. I wasn't and I knew that myself.

I am so anxious around people and with most of them, I am shy. I am scared to go anywhere. I feel like I have to be in my own surrounding to feel secure. I can't live my life like this.

Does anyone else feel this way?

[Katherine]

((((((pinklady))))))

I know what you mean. When I had a panic attack in group I felt a bit like that too.

The thing is, panic attacks can't be 'planned', its the fight:flight response in the central nervous system reacting to some trigger of anxiety-emotional overload.

I understand about the feeling secure, that deep need...I have more places now where I feel secure and safe, but still buses, tubes, and in the supermarket I am wary and insecure.

Take it easy, take care.

lorna

[lostsoul]

yes. i can relate.

i have taken to going out anywhere with a hypnosis relaxation tape (which i made, so its my own voicee saying charming things to me) just permanently attached to my head.

obviously i am listenng to the tape - i am not just wandering around with a tape stuck to my head.

it does work. yesterday i went shopping and didnt feel any stress at all. i did kinda feel more clumsy than usual though and was yawning a lot.

also my mum was a prisoner in her own house for 25 odd years so i have witnessed first hand the damage they can do. i have had a fair few myself.

the worst ones are the ones that 'seem' to come untriggered cos u cant plan for those. at least the ones you know why u get can kida be avoided. mind you, avoidance usually curtails ur activities.

i think they are just shit. but i think meds are the best way to contol them its the only thing that ever worked for my mum or for me.

hugs

lost

xx

[ktodee_27]

yes, I can relate most definitely.

I am scared about having to go out there and get a job and be in a community of people and working in front of them. My mental health staff is pushing me right now to do it and it's hard. And the searching me to see if I'm normal bit or not, I experience that a lot of the time as well, so I'm right in your boat there. And the pretending I'm ok bit I do a lot of the time on bad days as well. It's the story of my life. I even sometimes question if through my writings on this forum, if people are searching me out and think I'm nuts as well.

My staff wants to get me out of my comfort zone and I eventually want to get out of it too if I am ever to own my own business and fear is holding me back right now.

So, I've been there too pinklady.................

I hope things get better for you.

Take care, Katie

[Ginny]

((((((((Pinklady)))))))

Know what you feel mate - these feelings DO pass though, as you know. Are you being treated for this???? If not, talk to you T or Doc - there ARE ways of coping.... or learning to cope....

Good luck hun

Ginny :wub: