Could I Pass As Male?

[Sean]

Hey Vorpalblade,

I used to go to an all-girls school.. where I was bullied badly for being so different, so I started refusing to go.

I now go to another school which is a lot smaller and mixed. I've had a few comments, but nothing particularly deregetory. I came out as gay before asking to be called with the male pronoun and called 'Sean'.. thought that was easier than saying that I'm trans etc.

I have many friends who love and accept me for who I am and to them, i'm just another guy in the group, which is fantastic.

and haha, Justine, anytime darlin . x

[brassed2bits]

Hi Sean,

Cheers for your reply. I understand what you are saying.

The thing is, I have a daughter nearly your age. She is the girliest girl you could ever meet .. always has been ; party dresses, pink bedroom, pretty hair scrunchies etc etc etc ... girl girl girl all the way!!! I could never imagine her being any different!

But, she is really still so young ... we joke about her growing up and having kids an all that, but I also say to her 'if you grew up and found out you were lesbian, that would be fine too!!!' Infact, we have talked about how I would accept her whatever she chose for her life, including being T/G and whatever job she chose for herself.

What am I trying to say ... well, I guess as a mum I can see that for anyone of 15 there is a world of possibilities is ahead, and that what you might think is a dead cert now, (and has been for all your life) might, just might be not what you think is quite so certain in a few decades time. At 15, assuming you live until 75, say, you have only lived at 5th of your life. Can you really base the next 50 years of your life on the last 15??? Would you really expect to start a job, say at 15, and be in the same job at 75?? (stupid example I know, but I hope you get my drift!)

I do not want to sound horrible, and if you were my daughter I would be behind you all the way ; but I would urge caution and to take things slowly. I know far less about all this than you obviously do, but surgery is a pretty irreversible decision, and one you would not want to live to regret.

Sorry if I am pouring cold water on this post, but I wanted to point out the other side. Am I just an old fart who doesn't know what i am talking about, or do others agree at all with me? Sean, how do you feel about what I have wriiten??

[Vorpalblade]

sounds like you've got a good school there Sean. you're lucky :)

[fuzzyfelt]

Sean, Good lad! Congratulations on your picture, your look, and your self confidence. Stop blushing with Justine and start PM ing!!! Take care and loads of hugs

[Sean]

brassed2bits,

I understand exactly what you're saying and don't think it's horrible at all. it's just that what I'm doing isn't a choice. I'm not 'choosing' to be a boy rather than a girl. (I know you didn't say I was, just trying to explain). It's just who I am. I've never been my mother's 'daughter'. I am a boy. I don't want to be a boy. It's who I am.. but I just have the wrong parts.

Gender is a lot different to jobs. I mean One doesn't expect to stay in the same job all their life, but gender's different and I know that there's no way I could live my life in the body I'm in now. I still have two and a half years left anyway, and they won't perform the op(s) unless they know one's certain.

Nevertheless, I see your points totally, and I'm glad you took the time to put them down.

S. x

[Silkworm]

Hi Sean,

You look male in your picture, would also say that there is a softness to your face...which could easily be interpreted as adolescence or just 'you' (just a common variation ~ some blokes are square-jawed and beefy, others are softer and more sensitive, etc).

Coincidentally, I watched an story on a current affairs program recently about trans-gendered children. These kids have no doubt that they were born with the wrong body for their gender. From a very young age they asserted to their families that they were in the wrong body. The families featured in the story are allowing their kids to dress and live as the gender their kids say they are. These kids are much happier as a result.

The story really brought into clearer focus that there may be some genetic involvement in this, that it may not be a choice. Brilliant story (although I wonder about exposing these kids to public scrutiny). Can read it via the link if you're interested.

Understanding Transgender children

It sounds like you have a really strong support system around you, and a pretty healthy self esteem...all really important, adolescence is painful enough. Good luck to you in finding your true north Sean

Take care,

Sw

[Sean]

Cheers, Silkworm. That link was very interesting, too.

I can definately relate.

Yeah, adolescence isn't easy.. but I know I'll be the real 'me' eventually.. and that's what keeps me going.

There's also a group specially for f2m's that I go to and I find that very supportive.

[Heidi_]

I hope you won't get this wrong - do you think that your transgender has anything to do with your mental illness, or vice versa

[short fuse blues]

hi sean....wow,im a 46yo male..ugly big brute...honestly my first impression was that you were a young bloke..what i would describe as metrosexual..a young male that likes to dress with fashion and be well groomed...very common over here...you had me fooled!

[Sean]

short fuse blues-hehe, that made me very happy!

Hey Heidi- erm.. I doubt it tbh. I mean gender dysphoria is a whole other 'mental illness' in itself. Currently, we're (I mean trans people) are campaigning to get this changed.. but yeah, i mean.. I doubt it. Part of my depression is probably due to it, but as I've been feeling this way for as long as I can remember, without a diagnosis of mental illness (bipolar and GAD), I doubt the two are connected.

[brassed2bits]

Sean,

Thanks for replying, and taking my comments in such a constructive way!

You sound a well together, thoughtful and intelligent person, and confident in who you really are.

I wish you well, and look forward to following your journey over the next few years (if you still post on this board, that is)!

B2B

[Greensilver]

in response to the original question i thought you looked like a bloke but i wasnt sure as you had said you were in a female body so i already knew you know? so i said to my wife come look at this bloke she said why am i looking at a good looking bloke? so yeah you pass the kerry test! ;)

[Sean]

Haha, that did make me laugh.

Wow.

I'm glad I passed the Kerry test.

You can tell her that she made 'the good-looking bloke' very,. very happy =].

[JustOneMore]

Back to the original post.

I really don't know what to say from that photo.

As i've not spoken to you before with me not coming on here much these days, i haven't got to know you.

If i seen the name Sean, then yes i would presume that you are a bloke, but looking at the photo, i wouldn't actually be sure as the facial build and even the lip ring makes things even more confusing.

But then i would just think to myself that he (you) is just a very camp young lad.

Just my opinion.

[Sean]

Cheers, JustOneMore. I'm ot being sarcastic, I really do appreciate all comments and your honesty is much appreciated.

The lip ring does confuse people a bit, actually-so you woukdn't be the 1st to say that.

[EternallyInsane]

Hey Sean

I hadnt even looked at your picture when i read your post, when i did i had to re-read it to make sure of what you were asking lol. You most definately look male hun, and as has been said before a very attractive one I wish you all the luck in the world with changing over once you turn 18 hun, and yeah you passed my kerry test too, my 16yr old daughter was absolutely sure you were male until i told her otherwise hahahaha she had to read your post before i could convince her.

I know a lot of ppl will say your doing a very courageous thing but i dont think so, you clearly know who you are and how you were ment to be hun. Im so glad that your friends, family, school etc have been so supportive to you, thats how it should be. If you were my daughter/son id back you all the way. You are who you are, not how your born. All the best hun xxx

[Sean]

What a delightful comment to read.

I'm so delighted I passed your kerry test and you both thought I looked male.

Yeah, I don't see me changing my body as overly courageous. I knew since I was around 5 or 6 that it was have to be done sooner or later.

My gender specialist has everything in place for when I turn 18 and has already written a letter of recommendation to several surgeons he knows of. I should be able to get it done on the NHS due to my age. (The older you are, the more likely, you'll have to go private).

But thankyou so much for your support.

I'll keep everyone up to date with my progress.

Oh yeah.. and thanks for calling me 'attractive' too.

That did make me smile.

S. xxxxx

[Adriana]

Hi Sean, You definatelly look like a boy and you are. I am Impressed of your self-confidence. What a strong warrior.

I think you are very lucky to have supportive friends and a great school.

You seem so cheerful its contagious!

Thanks :)

[Ryan77]

Sean, I saw your pic in another post and just assumed you were a boy. I think that after a long 15 years you still feel like a boy then you are. And hopefully the body will soon follow. Sometimes our brains just get mixed up with our bodies I think. I always felt they were very separate things. I believe your brain is male and your body is female. Love and luck to you in your journey.

[Sean]

Now that is a compliment!

I do try to make people smile wherever I can, so cheers, Adrianna.

And thankyou Ryan for understanding. It's always great when someone just.. gets it, ya know?!

I had to spend an eternity to explain to my mum what it was etc, so it's wicked when people understand.

Thanks guys! (and girls) ;)

[mazer34]

Wow, so much to respond to!

Ok, here we go.. 1st of all, thankyou all for your lovely, lovely comments. They made me a very happy boy.

2ndly, here are my responses:

Lilly, I'm 15 and have to wait another 2 and a half years. I have a gender specialist now, so the day I turn 18, I can start physically changing.

Justine-your post was lovely and made me smile. Hey, I could always donate my breats when I've got rid of them lol.

Mazer34-*blush*!! hehe.. I'm kinda speechless, actually.

Sunshine bear-It's awesome when someone understands! Very few people do.

Vorpalblade-Yup, terrifying time.. but MEGA exciting. It's like... you know, becoming the guy I've always been. Not on Testosterone yet (too young).. but I do shave. Shame there's like nothing to shave. It's kinda cool, though.. because in shaving and stuff, I have ickle ickle hairs which are kinda growing... just a shame noone can see them.. yet.

Thanks sooo much for all the comments.. keep 'em coming!

Sean. x

your welcome you gorgeous hunk ! :wub:

[Sean]

ooh Mazer34, I've gone all red now.

Hehe.

Wow!

[Justine]

Sean,

I hope you can see from all these threads that you have got one heck of alot of support and I hope that makes you feel really good. Its funny you know your post got me thinking and I realised that I don't really associate myself as either female or male (even tho I probs look male as i already said!!), but i don't think my brain ever thinks about it. I guess i don't feel on nor the other really!!

Anyhow i wish you the best of luck and I really do look forward to hearing about the progress you are making.

P.S. If only i were 20 years younger ;)

[Sean]

Always open to offers

That's interesting though, that you feel neither one nor the other.

You can swing both ways (I'm talking about emotionally.. and your gender here) which is good.. whereas me.. well I'm just a typical bloke.

Emotionally, I'm a typical guy who's had the advantage of spending time with a lot of ladies-so when the time finally come for me to marry one, I should have a clue how their brain works :D

[Xanthrax]

You remind a bit of the fit plumber the council sent out to repair my tap last year. I would have 'done' him given half a chance.

Yeah, I think you would pass as male! I think the neck chain feminizes you slightly to be honest, I don't know why, but I'm male and neck chains just seem to make me look more effeminate too for some reason. Maybe it draws the eye down towards your chest? Sometimes we pick up on tiny subliminal signals that are well hidden to the naked eye.

This topic is interesting to me because I imagined myself as being in a female body until about the age of 17. I never felt uncomfortable with my actual sex though. I guess being TG is a bit like being gay, you just know by the sheer strength and depth of the feeling that it's true, it's plainly just the way you are. I remember when I was in my teens there was a lot of talk about homosexuality being a phase that most people went through, but in my case I just knew that wasn't going to happen.

I think I'm a 'psychosexual hermaphrodite', I read that was one of the old terms for homosexuality and it fits pretty well in my case. Something that really made me stop and think was when I was styling my avatar on SecondLife - I always chose the wide hips and round bottom of a woman, even when I was designing my male avatar. In the end I just made a female one and I liked her much better. But still I don't want to be a woman in RL! I don't think I'll ever be completely satisfied in my body, but I've come to accept that. I just wish we could change them at will! Interesting though, that I've never gone back to being male since I made a female avatar. Still, I usually understand the way both sexes think and feel. All the tests I've done come back showing high rational thinking/analyzing (male traits) and also high emotional intelligence and sensitivity (feminine traits), apparently most people are either one or the other.

I sometimes wish there was a third, or even a fourth gender i.e. man with vagina, woman with penis, in addition to the two conventional options. I've often wondered why some apparently heterosexual men are attracted to those Thai 'lady boys'? I'm gay and I don't find them attractive at all because of they're outwardly feminine. The penis doesn't really 'compensate' for some reason. Same in reverse, the actual gonads don't make much difference to me, in fact I've sometimes got aroused by straight porn centered on the vagina. Most gender signals come from hair, clothes, body shape and attitude I think.