I'm So Sensitive

[Dreamer]

I was wondering... is it just me that this happens to? The littlest thing can send me spiraling...I have been taking my Effexor again for a couple days now and do not feel suicidal like I did when my power was almost shut down...I blamed the effexor for the suicidal feelings..."side affect", but since starting it over again, I am not feeling that way right now and can only think it was the light bill sending me spiraling? The stress from wondering how I was going to live, and that is a big thing to me, but even the slightest thing can send me to that same dark place...An argument with my bf...a misunderstanding...if anyone says anything negative towards me, or it can even be constructive critisism, I usually am very angry at first, finding it hard to bite my tongue, then I HATE them...and I am forever holding grudges one second, then the next I ignore it totally and act like it doesn't bother me, almost burying those feelings so deep, so they never come to the surface again...I may see that person out in public or wherever and just won't even speak to them...it seems just any little thing will bother me, and it can be so small, but just eat me to my soul...My bf can say something and it will eat at me for days...and it was so tiny, he doesn't even recall it or even have a clue I am upset...I just seem so super sensitive and it bothers me...I can also be watching tv, and this happens all the time!!! Something heartwarming/sad can comes on tv, a wedding, a funeral, a family being awarded a brand new house for some heartwrenching reason...a reunion of any kind...and I am a crying, blubbering baby! I scream at the bf if he turns on ANYTHING relating to animals, like those shows showing them abused, them being adopted to a better home, or a hunting show, with them getting shot etc; HELL, even Benji or Lassie, it can't even be fake... If I see anything like that I am a dam mess...just soooo sensitive...ugh...

[Kay]

The old McD's commercial always got me.

Supersensitivity is a tough one to deal with on both side of the coin. Hopefully your BF understands that you are this way and supports you. Im glad you are back to taking your meds.

(((hugs)))

[Dreamer]

He tries to understand the best he can but does slip up time to time...which is expected, I think it's good I understand that too...thanks for replying woman hugs

[Lily-Bee]

Its hard isnt it to be so sensitive and things getting to you so easily.

Im glad your BF tries to understand.It might also help and I think you already do that for you to realize for yourself you are sensitive so when you overreact to something tell yourself Oh Im doing it again and try to calm yourself a bit by realizing you have a tendency to do that. Does that make sense??

Lilly

[Jeeves]

Dreamer...you are not only sensative, but seem very sweet too

I have learned to sometimes do like Lilly was saying and realize that alot of the time I have over reacted, due to being very sensative.

If I am sure I am wrong then I will just say so. I will tell you though if I feel that I am right then I will more than say so (and argue to the end, like I did with hub tonight), but if I am not sure If I am right/wrong or I'm not sure how somone meant something that they said to me, then lately I have been able to step back and think about what was said/done and why it made me feel the way it did, then I can respond in a less emotional way and not have to apologize to people so much, lol. I don't know if this made any sense...the words seem, well, mixed up, but I tried.

This does not work all the time, sometimes we just get emotional, especially in a 'love' relationship, but I know it can work and has. You just keep trying and I will keep trying and maybe one day we will both get it right. Sounds fair to me!

[feistymiss]

i liked what you put Jeeves, and it made sense to me to try and react to a situation like you describe yet i totally ascribe to Dreamer's way of reacting and thinking .. for myself especially when i am upset or under pressure

it seems to me, that i havent changed from the way i was, how ive always been, even with only recently having the diagnosis yet i have spent a lifetime apologising and definitley as you say Jeeves, amending any wrongs if i have "owned" them, i think this is where i am clear cut, in the black or white thinking, when i KNOW i am in the wrong or when i KNOW it has been done against me

hence the sensitivity !

but like Dreamer, gosh i find messages from other ppl - either directly or indirectly, thro association or from watching the tv, to be MOST distressing, i flip out over something that has been done to me, or to another, and if it is distressing, or if it is something i have had done to me, then the distress i display is overwhelming, this is when it tips into my PTSD area, my domestic violence experience, my childhood, abuse, or just plain areas which i find hard to deal with

when i was on mood stabilisers i found i was too hyper and i didnt get help with sorting out that medication so i came off meds in order to stay "the same" aaagh

then i react just the same to you, so that a phone conversation, dealing with a bill, sends my ability to cope sky high, when in the past i was a high achiever, coping single handedly with my own children who needed 24/7 care for health needs plus trying to juggle .. as i saw it .. being a woman, and perceiving everything wrong, and hearing things in my head, and being told i SHOULD do this, or do that, so that i was driven mad, but not anyone else, so again, then i was a sad sack, someone who couldnt hold it all together

but things like watching tv, there are only a few programs i can actually watch and invariably all of them have triggers for me, such as coronation street or eastenders, the way ppl "interact" with each other, either sends me into a frenzy where im so agitated and screaming almost, or crying my eyes out and cant cope, and as for natural disasters or tragedies, ie listening to the news or the radio, this totally upsets and unsettles me for days (for ever in fact) so that i perceive myself as a complete wreck, i just cant let things go and play them over and over, BPD style, trying to get a better angle, perspective, ending, whatever

and i liked Dreamer, where you referred to interacting with your BF, and either it being a misunderstanding, how you might flip, i have found this past year, with multiple life changes impacting, that i cant control my emotion ... mostly where it is displayed as anger ... but i am trying to understand it so your posting really helped

and mostly i have dealt with it by disassociating, by not socialising .. because i just cant stop the multiple of messages and conflict that i am internalising and trying to deal with, so i have to allow my husband to deal with phone queries, or neighbours etc

so Dreamer, good to know you and i are alike, and not alone after all

[AndyL]

Whenever I see children on TV the waterworks start. Probably has something to do with losing my kids to the ex.

Hang in there, Dreamer! Stay on your meds--they'll work if you give them a chance.

A.

[messygirl]

ditto. Im painfully sensitive too dreamer, its very, very hard to be like that. I dunno wat else to say at the mo, Im in such a mess, but you sound like a lovely person, if you dont love yourself, at least know others love ya xxx same goes for everyone else who responded here too x

[Marchmadness]

Hey -

I go through my periods of being over-over-over sensitive! Then there are

times were I am the worlds biggest bitch. Oh but then again I am Bipolar

Have to work on a balance of it. First recognize that you are being sensitive,

first step is to understand it, then you can learn how to deal with it, and why

it is happening. I agree with the others, stay on your meds.

Marchmadness

[Dreamer]

Thank you everyone for replying and I understand everything each and every one of you are saying, I am glad I am not alone in this, I appreciate you guys so much and am glad to have found this place I watched "When a man loves a woman" today with meg ryan and andy garcia, where his wife is an alchoholic, bawled like a baby Everyopne take care, and again, thanks for the replies!

[Elke.]

"even the slightest thing can send me to that same dark place...An argument with my bf...a misunderstanding...if anyone says anything negative towards me, or it can even be constructive critisism, I usually am very angry at first, finding it hard to bite my tongue, then I HATE them..."

I really hope you work on it like Lilly suggested.... because I have felt the full blow of your hatred (in my post). And boy did IT HURT! It is something that bothers you yourself and thats a good sign and isnt something that should be nourished with calming responses.

Take care - I hope we can forget about it and no hard feelings.

Elke

[Dreamer]

I find it hard to believe Elke that you were the one that was hurt....afterall, you were the one that referred to me as someone that gets their jollies off by seeing someone else suffering, calling me "those kind of people"...I only responded and merely corrected you in saying that I am certainly not that kind of person and I have left it at that.

[Life is sweet]

hahaha have you read my latest posts??? lol i am very sensitive right now too! something i want to try to change, or at least use to my ADVANTAGE! funny you should mention this though. not sure how i will go about changing this, but it will be something that will change in me for sure. take care.

m.

[Elke.]

OK, if you would rather slap my hand away, fine, thats your decision. And if you find it hard to believe, thats your problem, not mine. I know how I feel.

"I only responded and "merely" corrected you...." Read your answer again.

I don´t want to ARGUE with you, Dreamer...!!! Go pick a fight with someone else.

Elke

[Dreamer]

I am certainly not 'picking a fight'. I started this thread last I checked. You were the one who was rude to me and bit my head off, and I did correct you and say I wasn't the kind of person that gets off by hurting others, because that IS what you said about me isn't it? Read your post again. I'm only standing up for myself, as would anyone else I'm sure. I said I found it hard to believe that you were the one that was hurt, because you were the one that basically treated me like CRAP after I showed interest in your life and wanted to tell you I was glad you were ok...then u said it was a misunderstanding and should be discussed in PM's, and I said NOTHING else about it. Now, I post this thread and you came right in and dug up old shit after I left it. I did not attack you, yell or whatever. If anything you are the one picking this fight, have I posted in anything else you have written? No. Have I picked fights with you? Absolutely not. Good day.

[Dreamer]

Yes velveteen, I saw ur movie post specifically...I hope you are getting along better today anyhow I'm that very same way, so it's nice to know I am not alone, again, thanks for everyones replies, take care

[Elke.]

Quote "thanks for everyones replies, take care"

You´re welcome!

Oh ..... by the way. This isn´t a "correction" institute, LOL!!!!! (I only have one mother, though).

[Dreamer]

I wasn't thanking you for your post Elke, guess again. I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out of my threads in the future and, can I use your comment, sure why not, go pick a fight with someone else, I'm no longer interested in hearing what you have to say. You obvioulsy won't take responsibility for being a giant jerk to me, you insulted me in front of people for no reason and ur the one so hurt????? Frankly, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Sounds as if something is a miss there.... I'd appreciate the lock put on this thread if possible cause even thought it may be interesting reading for some I'm sick of listening to the bull.

[Elke.]

Dreamer, I don´t appreciate being referred to as a "giant jerk" and "dumb". That is an insult - and if you read the rules of the forum (??) you would be aware of having broken them.

You can really dish out, Dreamer! But you can´t TAKE anything!

@ Josh......the button for Report Abuse is not availabe anymore, but I hope you have read the above and taken it into account and/or action.

Elke

[AndyL]

Let's all calm down and try to act civilly. I'm getting requests to lock the thread. Can't we be supportive instead of destructive?

[Dreamer]

Thank You Andy. Much appreciated

[Joshua]

This thread and others like it will not simply be closed as people are having a disagreement. Members will have to work through the issues they have with others in a post rather than relying on staff to come along and fix it for them.

I hope this clears up the position of the staff team.

Thank you

[Elke.]

I dont like playing Duelling Banjos with someone from the depths of Virginia. I have you on Ignored Users ..... Dont worry about me butting into your Posts, because even if I do run over one, I wont see it....thank goodness.

No need to close the thread. Its too full of hatred, hyprocritcal bull, lies, having the last word, and the need to verbally "win" and I dont want to get pulled into the sick, neurotic hang-up anymore.

Elke

[Joshua]

I dont like playing Duelling Banjos with someone from the depths of Virginia. I have you on Ignored Users ..... Dont worry about me butting into your Posts, because even if I do run over one, I wont see it....thank goodness.

No need to close the thread. Its a waste of time to me, full of hatred and bull. I´m out of here.

Elke

Very mature and rational?

[Dreamer]

This thread and others like it will not simply be closed as people are having a disagreement. Members will have to work through the issues they have with others in a post rather than relying on staff to come along and fix it for them.

I hope this clears up the position of the staff team.

Thank you

Thanks for posting, sorry for any trouble I cause you and the staff. Thanks