Who Else Is Alone?

[messygirl]

In the sense of having no partner (moreso being long term single), no kids, no or hardly any friends or family? Im not for one second suggesting that people who do have partners and stuff arent suffering as badly so please dont get me wrong! Just want to reach out to those who feel very much alone, cos it certainly doesnt help matters. It can make it harder to find a reason for living. I feel like engaging in a bit of self pity for a while :(

[colourfulcarly]

yep thats me no partner don't talk to family and friend just don't understand and get frightened off spend most of the week on my own. my own company don't do me good thats where i hope i can get to know people on here so i don't feel so alone when at home alone.

[nosurprises]

i'm alone too. don't talk to my family, no boyfriend, all my friends live all over the place and it's hard to have contact with them cos they're all busy and successful.

at the moment i live with my ex boyfriend, and he's the only person i have contact to. we don't even get on very well. i don't have any friends in this town at all.

so yeah, it sucks. it makes me sad when i think about xmas and new year and my birthday (my birthday's on the 21st dec - so that's a bad time for me).

[Arron]

I'm so used to being alone i forget that there are people in the world. Its easy to pretend i'm not lonely or bored but really i think i;ve taken it to a whole ne spectrum!

[AleBD]

Hi

I have always felt alone. I think this feeling is not much related to having kids for instance. I have 2 since I was very young, and many people tell me "Why are you depressed and suicidal?, you have something to live for". Well, as much as I adore my kids this type of loneliness never goes away. To me my kids dont fill the emptiness I have. So I dont know where this feeling comes from...

I`ve had partner after partner. Still felt alone and misundesrtood.

My parents have been supportive and come visit me.. but past hunts me and I push them away.

My point is that even if I have had all, I feel terribly alone

I wish I could write posetively atm but I dont feel well.

Sorry

[Faerielight]

(((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))) to all of you who are lonely.. i

was alone for years, no family, no partner, no friends.. i

t nearly distroyed me and i couldnt take it any more so i forced myself to do internet dating and 6 months later, thank god, i found my partner.

just want to say things can change .. i never thought it would for me and im 36 years old now.

i still have that inner emptyness when im alone in my flat, ( i live alone with my cat) i dont know if that will ever go away.. but things are easier now.. dont give up hope people.. things can turn themselves around.

ivy x

[Miko]

Thank you Ivy for your words of hope.

I have been left to rot which is partly not my doing.

Only one person wants to know plus a very new care worker and I don't know how long the latter is there for.

Care workers shouldn't have to play an exclusive role in keeping one sane, they should assist in practicalities but one needs unpaid friends to take an interest in most of one's affairs.

There is no longer enough time (man hours) to catch up on the essentials hence a lot of life has to go down the drain.

Money - health

People potentise. Same hours but double or triple manning - get somewhere in life quicker. And you can sometimes reciprocate the favour.

[Stezzy]

I'm also single and only live with my 6 year old autistic son but he has no language so communication is out. i'm very much alone physcially and emotionally. I don't have much family apart from my mum and she doesn't do emotions. I see my ex about once a week when he collects my son but he's not interested in me apart from small talk. I can't go out much due to physcial illness. I crave love and affection and a sex life would be nice as well. It's horribly lonely. I really feel for you all out there living alone and/or feeling emotionally alone.

[dpb]

I live in relative isolation, just one friend who tries to keep me talking and now a therapist.

[bluebird]

I am very much alone. I live alone and only get a visit from my youngest son occassionally. I have an elder son who I visit but is wrapped up with his own life and doesn't visit or talk to me much - as his partner does not like us talking about our family stuff! I am not included in their family - I have my 'slot' of 3 hours weekly when I see my grandchildren, which I am grateful for.

I have one friend who doesn't visit [unless she is having problems with her other half, then she will make the effort to come over on the bus, but only in the summer months!].

So although I have children [in their 30's] I am isolated, alone most of the time and cannot understand why invites I do make [when I can get up the confidence to do so] are never taken up.

So - I cannot talk about how I feel, even when others assume I am fine as I appear capable but inside i know I'm not. Attempts to open up get met with blank faces and even my youngest son says that my nice home, car and grandchildren [who are being kept at a distance from me] should be enough to keep me happy!

In summary:

A: I have big problems with my 'daughter in law' who is defence about her mothering skills [though I have never critiscised her at all, just said sometimes that the problems she has had I have not encountered - just had different ones]. The latest is my eldest grandson is distinctly cool towards me lately and I am sure something has been said - or maybe he is just growing up and away from me a bit.......

B: A friend just wants me to visit her - that is difficult sometimes as I feel too unwell to get there.

C: 2 sons who are busy with full lives [i'm glad, they seem to be well balanced and adjusted, just a bit self absorbed]

D: A mother and family of origin who do not acknowledge that I have problems [as my probelms started within the family] - the subject is taboo.

E: An aquaintance who never visits as she is full of resentment that my home is bigger than hers! Though I pop in on her and she seems to appreciate it, but I'm never sure.

F: I see noone for days at a time sometimes. The rest of the time the people in my life just confuse me, I pick up atmospheres when i do see them and generally feel uncomfortable and my confidence goes down even further.

So even people with family can feel alone. In general I feel bullied and rejected.

[bluebird]

I am very much alone. I live alone and only get a visit from my youngest son occassionally. I have an elder son who I visit but is wrapped up with his own life and doesn't visit or talk to me much - as his partner does not like us talking about our family stuff! I am not included in their family - I have my 'slot' of 3 hours weekly when I see my grandchildren, which I am grateful for.

I have one friend who doesn't visit [unless she is having problems with her other half, then she will make the effort to come over on the bus, but only in the summer months!].

So although I have children [in their 30's] I am isolated, alone most of the time and cannot understand why invites I do make [when I can get up the confidence to do so] are never taken up.

So - I cannot talk about how I feel, even when others assume I am fine as I appear capable but inside i know I'm not. Attempts to open up get met with blank faces and even my youngest son says that my nice home, car and grandchildren [who are being kept at a distance from me] should be enough to keep me happy!

In summary:

A: I have big problems with my 'daughter in law' who is defence about her mothering skills [though I have never critiscised her at all, just said sometimes that the problems she has had I have not encountered - just had different ones]. The latest is my eldest grandson is distinctly cool towards me lately and I am sure something has been said - or maybe he is just growing up and away from me a bit.......

B: A friend just wants me to visit her - that is difficult sometimes as I feel too unwell to get there.

C: 2 sons who are busy with full lives [i'm glad, they seem to be well balanced and adjusted, just a bit self absorbed]

D: A mother and family of origin who do not acknowledge that I have problems [as my probelms started within the family] - the subject is taboo.

E: An aquaintance who never visits as she is full of resentment that my home is bigger than hers! Though I pop in on her and she seems to appreciate it, but I'm never sure.

F: I see noone for days at a time sometimes. The rest of the time the people in my life just confuse me, I pick up atmospheres when i do see them and generally feel uncomfortable and my confidence goes down even further.

So even people with family can feel alone. In general I feel bullied and rejected.

[harrowdown]

yeah

Bluebird

i do

not really any friends

no doc now, can't pay the 100 $ fucking late fee thanks a fucking lot, do no harm my ass

and all i have is my mom (ugh)

dunno if im better off with no attachments or not

probably not

don't you just feel utterly- christ alone isnt a strong enough word

I'm gona say MRSghfhfghDFGgh&^%&*(*(&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and im used to being alone

so it must really be bad now

[bluebird]

After the last couple of days I am coming to the conclusion that I'm better off on my own, given the distress and anguish, confusion and self doubt that others give me. I came to this conclusion regarding having a partner/relationship, now friendships. I don't know if they do me much good really.

Other people fuck my head up. Partners certainly have done, just used me, used my body, and controlled me then thrown me away when I start saying how it is all feeling for me.

Here noone is saying stupid stuff to me, looking at me askance when I tell of the latest info I have regarding the brain functions and how it get damaged - and how to try and retrain the mind. They aren't interested! Even the health care professionals aren't.

Noone is moaning at me, demanding I do things I feel too drained to do, starting a row, giving their opinions and judgements about me, my home and my life and interests.

So there is a peace of some kind albeit a lonely one. Solitude suits me at the moment. I get any kind strokes I need from this website. Yes I'm isolating - but where is the phone call from those who care? Because I cannot reach out.

I'm 're-framing' the situation.

I'm on here, about to watch a film, then get my tea and watch a good tv prog, have a nice bath, then read in bed. No worries.

[harrowdown]

*nods*

yeah i know what you mean about people just fucking with your head

or it feeling like that

but no friendships?

don't cut yourself off completely

[bluebird]

Only got one friend anyway harrowdown [and 2 aquaintances]. Can't find any more noone seems to want to know at the moment.

[rain]

I definitely feel alone and this christmas season isn't helping.

I live with my grandparents but I stay in the city I study in generally. They don't contact me the way other students' parents do. I could go a month or more without them contacting me, I know I don't generally bother either but I'm bad at maintaining things. The other two aunts and uncles and their kids hardly know I exist, I am not of significance to them but sure I'll see them at the christmas party and it'll be an empty merry ordeal. They will talk then but forget again later - there's a whole year in between 2 such parties. Anything could happen! As far as I'm concerned I don't have a family and I don't have a home, I never did.

I usuallly cling to a relationship for intimacy, talking, attention, giving affection - things I thought I was good at - but of late I've only been good for lying underneath the guy and then steering clear of them as they wished! So, no christmas feeling in me at all. I know it's just a bunch of commercial bullshit, so I doubt it'll hurt much, I think New Year's will hurt more. I'll be spending that alone studying I think.

As for acquaintances/friends, I can talk to people but I never feel like I'm fulfilled, like that is never what I want. Plus I'm not important to anyone, like they would reach out to me. So, I'm another person who knows loneliness all too well. I'm going to try and make do with myself. I need to study, so I'll be doing that later on, having a lovely warm shower, warming some food up... I don't think I am a rotten person (this being said in an okay mood), I mean my intentions are genuine and I honestly care for others. It's just that I may be an alien in this age category, far too serious, different framework from which I view things, difficult past affecting me still and of course the personality disorder, but I think mainly I suffer from the consequences of that.

I'm just trying to be optimistic, and patient, and self-sufficient. Yes, bluebird I agree, right now the 'ties' I had with others have worn me down so much I think I need a break. And it's the whole exam period for me nearly so I need to clear my head before that all starts rolling. It's hard, but if we are nice people and we realise and know this, then we can't blame ourselves!

[bluebird]

rain - hi. I can relate to not feeling fulfilled with friends, I get sick of small talk with no content, no discussion, no exchange of ideas, - not even many laughs.

Maybe this christmas break is you-time. Totally concentrate on yourself and your needs and get your equilibrium back. Exams will require your full attention as you say, best to throw yourself into them [and your future] for now.

I certainly don't feel a bad person, just can't meet people I can connect with. People my age seem to have all the friends they need and don't attempt to make new ones. Such is life.......

My views on christmas are for another time!

[rain]

I just don't get why people wouldn't want to experience the pleasure of your company, you come across as a very warm and interesting person. Thank you for replying and bringing smiles to my face. I am glad you joined so I got to meet you

I guess we are just in very unlucky positions, but let's vow to keep strong together for now. I hope you have a pleasant evening.

Take care,

Rain x

[bluebird]

Rain - thanks for your lovely words. I don't get it either, but I don't move in the right circles I don't think - and don't go out enough [slight health problem at the moment].

However you have lifted my spirits and I thank you for that xx