Dissociation Disorder

[daize]

Today I went to see a psychiatrist who has said I have a dissociation disorder, I was told I would benefit from therapy and that he would see me again in a month.

I was so mad and so fuming that I was a second away from rearranging his face when I decided to walk out.

It is not his diagnoses that made me so mad, it is the fact that there is nothing he can or will give me to make all this easier.

I have shakes and tremors, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress and now this. I am on absolutely no medication and being told to come back in a month was enough to make me feel seriously suicidal because I just can't keep struggling through like this, I am 25 in two weeks and I can't leave my home, my life is just passing me by, it is like living in a nightmare.

Any information about dissociation and what I can do to make things easier would be appreciated, is there really nothing that can be done? Why wont they just help with the anxiety a little bit, help me to get out of the house? There must be something?

[InnerPeace]

Hi Daize, it really does sound like a very frustrating situation to be in. Grounding really helps get us back into our bodies and feeling calmer...something medication actually makes harder to do.

There are old posts in the good day/recovery section about grounding. I've learnt a new way recently - basically imagine a space inside your head behind your eyes and make that a private room. It helps to touch the point where the bridge of your nose and forehead meet. You can make that room exactly how you want it and imagine yourself in their in peace or doing whatever you enjoy doing, the focus is on being in that place in your head. That brings us back into our bodies. I imagine myself in this place when I'm doing something I'm scared of, it's comforting to be safely in my body.

To ground, try sitting with your feet flat on the floor and imagine tubes of a bright colour going from the arches of your feet down to the earth's core. You can send any emotions you want to down those tubes to the earth.

If those don't appeal to you, any physical activity or anything that makes you aware of your body is grounding. Even eating and drinking water.

I hope that's help a bit.

[daize]

Hi Daize, it really does sound like a very frustrating situation to be in. Grounding really helps get us back into our bodies and feeling calmer...something medication actually makes harder to do.

There are old posts in the good day/recovery section about grounding. I've learnt a new way recently - basically imagine a space inside your head behind your eyes and make that a private room. It helps to touch the point where the bridge of your nose and forehead meet. You can make that room exactly how you want it and imagine yourself in their in peace or doing whatever you enjoy doing, the focus is on being in that place in your head. That brings us back into our bodies. I imagine myself in this place when I'm doing something I'm scared of, it's comforting to be safely in my body.

To ground, try sitting with your feet flat on the floor and imagine tubes of a bright colour going from the arches of your feet down to the earth's core. You can send any emotions you want to down those tubes to the earth.

If those don't appeal to you, any physical activity or anything that makes you aware of your body is grounding. Even eating and drinking water.

I hope that's help a bit.

Thanks for your message, I am not sure how grounding will work but it is something that I can ask my partner to try with me see if it helps, the consultant said something to my partner like put a mirror in front of her, that also made us both angry as quite often when I "slip off the edge" (as we have come to call it in our house) I can't even see properly, it leaves me totally dysfunctional to the point where I just lie down wondering where I am and whats going on listening to strange voices, I pull large chunks of hair out in frustration and have been known to punch myself in the head or want to die. I can't believe that almost a year after I first tried getting help I finally get diagnosed and then told there is nothing they can give me and to wait another month. I guess it isn't the doctors fault but I felt like hitting him. So I guess grounding it is then, haha worth a try eh?

[Vorpalblade]

he's offered you therapy..what's your problem?!?

dis' disorders arent treated with meds but with talk therapy.

[daize]

he's offered you therapy..what's your problem?!?

dis' disorders arent treated with meds but with talk therapy.

My problem?

My problem is living in hell everyday, no doubt like so many others here, I guess I was hoping for a miracle cure I don't know. I was hoping that it was something that they could just fix. Today I got told I have some mental disorder and the best laugh is there is nothing we can give you except some therapy so just wait more, always waiting never healing. I can't help feeling robbed, I have had half my life robbed, my childhood, my teens, my fucking virginity, everything, and I remember nothing, I don't even know who I am. I have a multitude of names no one knows who I am. Thats my problem. I have come here seeking advice, I found it through a place called dissociation world and I was hoping to learn how to deal and live with it, not to ask what my problem is, I think I have had enough of being asked that, haven't we all?

[InnerPeace]

Don't mind Bladey...she's all right really.

Anything is worth a try. Grounding gets us back down to earth and in our bodies. When we dissociate we are out of our bodies and scattered...grounding gathers us in and brings us back in touch.

[Lily-Bee]

Sounds like you are dealing with a lot of stuff. That must be hard indeed!!

I understand you wished for a miracle cure but Im afraid there are none of those around.

Even meds don´t fix everything. I am on meds for instance but I still had to do a lot of therapy to work through things and to learn to deal better.

Maybe it helps if you try and have an open mind about therapy, just go there and give it a good go. See if in time it will help you. I think your psychiatrist is honostly trying to help you and he obviously thinks therapy is the thing for you.......so grab onto to that help!

Lilly

[Vorpalblade]

i still dont get it..you've got a problem, doctor has offered you a cure...??

[rachel100]

Hi

I have a dissociative disorder also. The help starts with ourselves. Sometimes the help we can goive ourselves is very small, it may be just to communicate what we feel like you have doen with this post. But we have to keep reminding ourselves change is a process not an event. I do not know about you but I am keen to start therapy as I think it will help me make the changes I need to make me feel like one person instead of many, to have more control over my life and to stop destroying the positive steps I make. I am also glad that because I will have a therapist I will have someone with me on the journey who will support me and help bring me back on track when I get wobbly.

I hope this is helpful and not preachy.

Rachel

[brassed2bits]

Back off Bladey .. there are gentler ways of saying things you know.

Be a tad more sensitive eh. We are here to support each other after all.

Whatever you are going through, doesnt give anyone a right to be deliberately insensitive.

:sm.jpg:

[Warrior Princess]

Hi Daize,

sounds like you have a lot of things going on at once here

There seems to be more than one problem going on so i think it's important to discuss them all seperately with your doctor or T and that you make it clear that you need help for them seperately.

I'm DID myself and the only cure for that is Therapy. that IS the cure. There is no medication that anyone can give you to stop you from switching or dissociating but getting to the root cause through therapy can help you tremendously. I've been in therapy for it for a number of years.

Anxiety is a completley different symptom from disociation and should be treated differently. Tell your doc how you feel and stress how bad the anxiety is making you feel. Don't be afraid to ask for some anti depressants or help for this symptom.

shakes and tremors are most likely coming from the anxiety attacks so dealing with the anxiety will help. meds can only deal with the symptom it's the therapy that will deal with the root causes of it all. Agrophobia once again is delt with in therapy. I'm slightly that wya myself in that I can't stand being in crowded rooms with a lot of people talking at once. finding out where that started is the answer.

There IS hope and there IS help but it takes time. In the mean time I do suggest you discuss with yoru doc or GP about anti depressants for the depression.

Paine.

Today I went to see a psychiatrist who has said I have a dissociation disorder, I was told I would benefit from therapy and that he would see me again in a month.

I was so mad and so fuming that I was a second away from rearranging his face when I decided to walk out.

It is not his diagnoses that made me so mad, it is the fact that there is nothing he can or will give me to make all this easier.

I have shakes and tremors, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress and now this. I am on absolutely no medication and being told to come back in a month was enough to make me feel seriously suicidal because I just can't keep struggling through like this, I am 25 in two weeks and I can't leave my home, my life is just passing me by, it is like living in a nightmare.

Any information about dissociation and what I can do to make things easier would be appreciated, is there really nothing that can be done? Why wont they just help with the anxiety a little bit, help me to get out of the house? There must be something?

[Warrior Princess]

he's offered you therapy..what's your problem?!?

dis' disorders arent treated with meds but with talk therapy.

My problem?

My problem is living in hell everyday, no doubt like so many others here, I guess I was hoping for a miracle cure I don't know. I was hoping that it was something that they could just fix. Today I got told I have some mental disorder and the best laugh is there is nothing we can give you except some therapy so just wait more, always waiting never healing. I can't help feeling robbed, I have had half my life robbed, my childhood, my teens, my fucking virginity, everything, and I remember nothing, I don't even know who I am. I have a multitude of names no one knows who I am. Thats my problem. I have come here seeking advice, I found it through a place called dissociation world and I was hoping to learn how to deal and live with it, not to ask what my problem is, I think I have had enough of being asked that, haven't we all?

I'm so sorry you're struggling. Don't mind Vorpalblade she's just blunt and to to the point. We accept her as she is!

I think one of the keys to healing is learning to accept... accept others and accept ourselves just as we are with no expectations at all. for the multiple it's accepting all of our variious parts right where they are whether we agree with them or not.

I don't really know who I am either and that's a very unsettling feeling but just know that I accept all of you... all parts and all sub personalities just as they are. It's true that many of us have been robbed of many things but we still have great treasures ahead and many things to look forward to. We can take our lives from TODAY as if we were just born this morning.

if one month is just too long a wait then ask them who you can contact if something comes up in the mean time. Is there a mental health hotline?

All else failing you can come here and vent like you just did. Angery or not it's getting it out and making room for that emotion. Good that you're not stifling it because that just makes it bigger.

Paine.

[Vorpalblade]

Back off Bladey .. there are gentler ways of saying things you know.

Be a tad more sensitive eh. We are here to support each other after all.

Whatever you are going through, doesnt give anyone a right to be deliberately insensitive.

just because i dont give all those fake cuddles and hugs etc doesnt mean i dont care.

just because i dont give out a load of fluffy words doesnt mean i am insensitive.

the OP is moaning because she has been offered a cure to her illness. Seems to me

to be somoewhat ungrateful.

[InnerPeace]

Back off Bladey .. there are gentler ways of saying things you know.

Be a tad more sensitive eh. We are here to support each other after all.

Whatever you are going through, doesnt give anyone a right to be deliberately insensitive.

just because i dont give all those fake cuddles and hugs etc doesnt mean i dont care.

just because i dont give out a load of fluffy words doesnt mean i am insensitive.

the OP is moaning because she has been offered a cure to her illness. Seems to me

to be somoewhat ungrateful.

Bladey, please don't lets turn someone else's thread for support turn into a battle ground. No one's asking you to give fluffy words etc, just a bit of empathy, understanding and help.

I understand your point about the therapy that is coming but that is a month away and Daize needs support now. Daize's post showed the frustration she's feeling and the pain caused by her illness, we can offer her what support we can until and during the time she has therapy.

Bladey, when I first joined the site you would be the first one to offer real support and empathy to members. I don't know if it's a change in meds or something else going on but I know the Bladey I first knew is still in there somewhere. I'm sorry if I'm out of line for saying that but it's what I feel.

[Vorpalblade]

it wasnt me that starting the arguing

[pain-dance]

Today I went to see a psychiatrist who has said I have a dissociation disorder, I was told I would benefit from therapy and that he would see me again in a month.

I was so mad and so fuming that I was a second away from rearranging his face when I decided to walk out.

It is not his diagnoses that made me so mad, it is the fact that there is nothing he can or will give me to make all this easier.

I have shakes and tremors, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress and now this. I am on absolutely no medication and being told to come back in a month was enough to make me feel seriously suicidal because I just can't keep struggling through like this, I am 25 in two weeks and I can't leave my home, my life is just passing me by, it is like living in a nightmare.

Any information about dissociation and what I can do to make things easier would be appreciated, is there really nothing that can be done? Why wont they just help with the anxiety a little bit, help me to get out of the house? There must be something?

As Vorpalblade has told you, you already have support and have been offered help, so just hold fire for the moment, instead of jumping the gun.

You're one of the lucky ones, in terms of community support: I don't even a psychiatrist or therapist to help me at the moment and my condition is also medically untreatable, apart from Propranalol for agitation, so I'm more or less left to my own devices.

I don't know if this has already been covered, but do you drink, smoke or indulge in street drugs? Do you eat a healthy diet or junk food? These are issues that you could discuss with your GP or a dietician, if at all relevant: for the moment, look at all aspects of your life-style that could be harming or exploiting you, and throw them out with the trash.

[InnerPeace]

Those are good points about what we're putting into our bodies. Sometimes I can take alcohol but last night I found myself sliding into a bad place. Now this morning I had one cup of coffee too many, which can affect my mood badly too. I can't take refined foods well either. I think we are sensitive all round.

Telling someone they should be grateful for what they have and that they are lucky because we have less, is like someone saying to us glibly "you shouldn't feel the way you do because there are others who are worse off."

Everyone has the right to feel the way they do no matter what their circumstances. What we can do is empathise with those feelings and offer support without being judgmental...or maybe we can't!

Every member here is better off than someone in the world who could be suffering from severe mental illness but lives in such poverty that they don't have access to the internet or other things we take for granted, let alone any kind of support. But we still feel the pain, anger and hopelessness that we do, and knowing that there is someone else in the world worse off than us doesn't take those feelings away...worse, it invalidates our feelings.

[aurorablues]

Hi Daize,

Sorry your having a bad time.

I have no advice to offer on dissociation as i've never experienced it. But you said you are experiencing depression and anxiety. I was wondering whether you might benefit from taking an anti-depressent, to coincide with your forthcoming therapy? Perhaps you could talk about it with your GP to see whether this would be a good option for you.

I also agree with pain-dance, in trying to make your lifestyle a little more healthy. Cut down on sugars, caffiene, fatty foods. Cut down on smoking or quit if you smoke, cut down on drinking, do some mild daily excercise....All steps in making your body and mind feel better.

[JasmineRose]

Dissociation isn't easy. Nor are the traumas that came before it.

I'm glad you're getting therapy. It helps me a lot.

[dollydaydream]

hi daize,

its great that you can come on this forum and post, in some way i think that is self therapy, you are being able to put your thoughts into readable words that you can look back at yourself and know you wrote that, thats real

i dissociate so much it interferes with my everyday living, i see my psychotherapist once a week now which helps, im also on anti depressants, mood stabilisers and anti psychotics, but i think with the dissociation side of me therapy is the best help

i think of five objects around me and touch them and try to make them feel real, controlled deep breathing also helps me, i just breathe in deeply through my nose and out fully through my mouth, might sound a bit stupid but this may help you too, may help you relax if you start to tremble etc also it helps me to have a safe place in my head and i use a nice smell ( i love cinnamon) to help me go to my safe place if i get stressed, perhaps it might help you to do the same

god it takes me sooo long to do a post, my heads all over the place and i have to read through and correct everything ten times,and im paranoid about what anyone thinks, i hate that!!!!

anyway, youre not alone, theyre are many people on this forum with similar probs, hope you find help here, take care

dd

[artful]

Today I went to see a psychiatrist who has said I have a dissociation disorder, I was told I would benefit from therapy and that he would see me again in a month.

I was so mad and so fuming that I was a second away from rearranging his face when I decided to walk out.

It is not his diagnoses that made me so mad, it is the fact that there is nothing he can or will give me to make all this easier.

I have shakes and tremors, depression, anxiety, agoraphobia, post traumatic stress and now this. I am on absolutely no medication and being told to come back in a month was enough to make me feel seriously suicidal because I just can't keep struggling through like this, I am 25 in two weeks and I can't leave my home, my life is just passing me by, it is like living in a nightmare.

Any information about dissociation and what I can do to make things easier would be appreciated, is there really nothing that can be done? Why wont they just help with the anxiety a little bit, help me to get out of the house? There must be something?

[artful]

hi daize

Hi daize are you still blown away,

Has your life picked up or are you still in a haize.

Thank you for opening up and sharing your tears,

The anguish and pain it sounds like it's been around for years.

Even though it may be brimming and bubbling up to your ears,

By sharing here it may help allay a little of your fears.

I hope and pray that at least a little pain has gone away,

If you stay patient and present and keep chipping away,

you may just heal and accept the roots as a journey past one day.

................................................................................

.......................................

Whilst I may not be able to understand your pain I can relate to it in some way. I too have had poor experience with the psychiatric profession. The lack of empathy and undertanding can be pathetic, but then again some studies in America have shown approximately three quaters of psychiatists to be aethieists. These people can present themselves as so cut of from humanity and humanism it can be hard to comprehend. It is not uncommon for such people not to offer drugs when they are wanted and to offer them when are not wanted.

If you are still in need of some assistance, then I can suggest something that has assisted me. EFT (emotional freedom technique) is an emotional version of acupuncture. It involves tapping or rubbing some pressure points, whilst making an affirmation, then tapping at some accupressure points on the body. It may sound a bit weird but it really can make a difference with perseverence. There is a free manual, lots of free articles, a help forum and links to lots of free mini-videos on you tube to get you started. It is very suitable for both self help and working with a therapist. The website is www.emofree.com, try googling also.

Another very similar therapy which I have had results from but have not used loads yet is WHEE (wholistic hybrid eft emdr). Try googling for the site, there is a self help exercise on here also. I would recommend starting with EFT as this site has loads of support, but WHEE has other benefits and potential uses. It can really be well worth a try if you can muster some self discipline and a little motivation to start.

Dissociative disorders can take some working through and a counsellor can often be one of the best forms of therapy. EMDR (eye movement de-sensitising and re-processing) can be good for working through trauma's also, although you may need to have several counselling sessions to start as there is a genuine risk of 'flooding' - bringing too much out too fast. Flooding often occurs between sessions and this can be a real and potential danger with dissociative mechanisms.

Writing a journal is often also highly recommended by most therapists. This can assist in many ways but can really help with grounding and working through feelings, emotions, cognitions and such. It is often seen as a vital tool with dissociation, as the inherent mechanism can often be to push away painful thoughts and feelings after starting to re-associate. This pushing away, whilst it may seem natural and less hassle or pain at the time, can often create an ingraining and deepening of the dysfunctional elements of the dissociative mechanism, thus potentially prolonging completion of the stages of the healing process.

One thing to mention is that the fact that you have manifested dissociative mechanisms, shows that you have a creative talent and drive for survival. If you had not created such mechanisms you may not have survived your traumas.

Any ways, I hope that the above is of some assistance to you.

I wish you blessings of love and light on your journey, for you are a truly beautiful human being in the process of becoming, the trick of life accepting and working with this process of self-actualisation. No one can fix you for you are not broken, this is an illusion. Everything you need is within, even inside the pain is oneness and unity. You are whole and always have been, one of the most powerfull keys in growth is are awareness. As therapists say----choice is empowerment.

In sanity we find madness...............and in madness we find sanity.

How can one truly know one without knowing the other.

[daize]

Thanks everyone for your support and replies and thanks artful for your touching poem.

I have made a post in the BPD part of this forum already, but I will quickly explain here that I have been into hospital so obviously been unable to reply to your posts.

I went for my first therapy session and the therapist quickly decided she couldn't / wouldn't help me, anyway in light of recent events and in particular being sectioned I am now on some meds, these meds are not really going to help with the dissociation they will just relieve some of the symptoms.

The consultant says that my problems are complex and the therapy I tried is too structured, anyway he is going to arrange for me to try psychotherapy instead. I am not sure what the difference is or if this will work but at least my hope has been restored and I am looking forward to getting better someday.

Thanks again for all your support and I intend to stick around here so that I can offer my support to you in return.

Daisy x

[rebeccaborderline]

Hi Daize,

Im glad actually your consultant is sending you for psychotherapy; I had 2 therapists before I was sent to a psychotherapist and with hindsight I think they were out of their depth. i don't disocciate much but apart from that we sound similar.

Ive been having long term psychotherapy and I can't tell you how helpful its been. Its not a quick fix, I can only advise you to go in with an open mind when you get it, try to be receptive and honest. It took me quite some time to be truly open and trusting but it has been worth it, its massively healing.

I wish you luck; youre on the right track and they are going to give you the right help, its good

rebeccaporderline