A Few Questions

[weft]

How the hell do you lot cope ? Are you sure BPD indeed does exist - and if so where's the empirical proof ? I came on here to see if reading about other people experiences would help me, but i'm not sure if focusing my mind on something that i'm not absolutely sure I have is such a good thing.

For example, I do hope i'm not just feeding any of my personal paranoia/hypochondria ect.

I'd honestly appreciate any replies and sorry if this seems to swerve off the boards main themes.

[Lily-Bee]

Its fine to ask these questions.

I think most of us here believe and so do I that BPD is real, we all seem to suffer from more or less the same symptoms...........And most of us have been diagnosed with it.

have you been diagnosed with it or are you thinking you might have it??

Lilly

[weft]

I think I may have it - absurd thing really, i did this online personality test in nonserious, passing the time kind of way and it came up with BPD. At that time I'm embrassed to admit i'd never actually heard of it so i googled BDP several times and read the descriptions. I was shocked and really unerved to find that the explanations formed a perfect description of how I feel 100% of the time. I used to think that i had depression which i considered considered self indulgent and unproductive so i tried to just ignore it and found ways to cope when that wasn't possible. Now i'm not so sure.

I desperately want to speak to someone but i'm unsure how far a doctors hippocratic oath extends and also I hate saying things out loud because of the irreversabilty it imposes.

[Miko]

Loads of us here are depressed too. As for irreversibility - I always maintain it is not only a lady's but also a gentleman's privilege to change her/his mind

I think it's extremely important to get the connotations of the conceptual framework right for one's thinking. Some people here had an official diagnosis of BPD and had professionals that helped them with it constructively so it was a good news thing for them all the way along. For others, not so or less so up till now. I did some self-discovery and some exploring and am trying to get help with my depression too, some parts of that process have worked for me so far, with the prescribing authority proving the weakest link so far. I identify with a lot of the descriptions of what in literature are negatively headed 'personality disorders' but which I instead think of as 'personality development needs' or 'personality development opportunities'. I am very influenced by traumas I have undergone so our friends here recognised PTSD traits in me. Apparently antidepressants are often good for that. When I find good doctors I can go into a little detail with them, meantime I have several other types of condition to see various doctors about anyway.

One of my mottoes is - if the cap fits, wear it - lightly :lol:

[weft]

Thank you, that helped a lot actually and it's certainly the first time i've heard that particular perspective. I'm not sure I place a lot of faith in things like antidepressants personally (although i don't doubt that they are an immense help for some ) and i'd be reluctant to attach any kind of dependance on them - but your words do make me think speaking to someone is somewhat less of a 'ultimate option' than i previously believed.

I may see if i can find an independent drop in based counceller or something like that, as i've known my doctor all my life and would find speaking to a stranger rather easier.

[Miko]

There is also of course 'speaking' by posting in this forum.

Returning to the 'revocable' theme many counsellors & such may regard it as to a degree formal if you approach them. Here - just read away, see who you identify more with. And ask questions. Most of us have mastered the art of anonymising ourselves yet keeping the story itself vivid enough for others to follow.

The only point in labelling oneself is to get results that work for one. Depending what the problems are - if any - you may or may not need to be seen to be seeking solutions. If it ain't broke officially, don't fix it officially. We are about mutual self help in any case.

[bluebird]

At my surgery they say BPD is a very broad spectrum which goes from a mild form of personality disorder to a severe one and it just helps the GP if they know the person has had events in their past which affects them now, and that they struggle in a minor or major way.

I have done a lot of research into my problem and accept that I have CPTSD and have a chronic Avoidant Personality Disorder.

Now how I deal with it, and what help I can get is another issue. I could and do educate myself into how to cope, the reasons for this and why i react the way I do. Thats fine.

But, unfortunately the text books assume that the people who behave towards me in ways which cause me to feel left out, neglected and rejected, will understand me if I explain, and they will help.

Well it doesnt work out so cut and dried as that. They dont. If only.

I can do my bit, but it doesnt mean others will cooperate and be someone they arent. That cant happen - so I'm left to supress my feelings and emotions, until I reach overload and it spills out in tearfullness and internal rage at the unfairness of it all.

[shtuah]

Hello Weft

I have been sufferring from a condition which closely mirrors the symptoms of BPD for over 15 years. I have spent years blaming others for anything unfortunate that happened. I have tried self medication ( and occasionally still do), common sense solutions (e.g. pull youself together), doctor's help (e.g. give her anti depressants) and in the end after everyone's resources seemed to be exhausted and of no help, had to actually think for myself 'What is wrong with me?'.

What I did was look at my behaviour and I found that every site & book I went to said I had BPD. I asked my doctor to help and he told me I merely had depression. After another 6months of self medication, antidepressants and the endurance of my family I plucked up the courage to demand that I see a psychology specialist. After seeing the specialist he confirmed that he suspected BPD and has since put me on the list for DBT.

If you are in doubt about any aspect of your diagnosis you have the right to be referred to specialist services. Don't wait for years like I did, it only adds to the misery of not feeling you belong. After waiting so long I actually welcomed the diagnosis. It is no longer a mystery why I am so 'normal' most of the time yet so 'odd' at others. It is no disgrace to have a psychological disorder, just as it is no disgrace to have a physical disorder.

Regards

Sharon

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