How Old Were You?

[tiellover]

I was curious as to how old you were when your symptoms started.

For me my depression started at about 12...14 was when I really knew something was wrong. I had this overwhelming sinking feeling in my stomach and just wanted to die. Since then I've become hyper-sensitive to anything/everything and stay on the depressed end of the spectrum. I struggle with the Bipolar II diagnosis because of this. I can't remember being the slightest bit hypo manic.

How about you?

[PipC]

Early teens. I'm 35 now. No diagnosis of anything until I was 25, then 10 years of diagnoses of depression of anxiety and now one of BPD. The hardest thing is that for over 20 years I have felt that life is mostly pointless and have found it a struggle but can't tell anyone the full truth of how I think or feel because I don't want to say it out loud.

[Kay]

I can remember being 7ish and sitting on the bottom of the pool (yes, underwater) crying, wanting to stay there forever.

[Lily-Bee]

I was very young when I already had problems like 6 but things really started to go wrong when I was 9.

Lilly

[Lance]

Mine started the moment I was born. I was born with a testosterone deficiency which left my sexual mind in the ballance. Unfortunately, being so young and explorative, my mind wandered down a completely different road.... Even my very earliest memories, 2, 3, 4 years old, I remember being very aware of my differences, early photos leave clues to this, but nobody ever picked up on them I kept everything inside and lied for 20 years, successfuly. Now I've come to speak about it all, the damage is already done. Age really makes this all the worse, that's why I wish I was still that young so that my innocence can protect me.

Sorry about the length there. I can't say one thing without saying another...

Peace, Lance

[Vorpalblade]

I can recall first wanting to die when i was 6 and a half, it was my sisters 4th birthday and she got lots of presents. i hadnt got any for my birthday 6 months prior..as was usual. It was at that point that my self harm started. Then my first suicide attempt was when i was 8. Looking back well, what i did was laughable, but at the time i truly thought it would kill me. I remember sitting and waiting, and waiting, and waiting to die but it never happened :(

[Sarahlou]

I was about 11 when i first started feeling depressed, 12 was when i took my first OD.

[Hedgehog]

Now 27

Diagnosis at 25

Issues such as overdoses at 23

Self harm at 18

But apparently I harmed a couple of times when i was very young - although i have no recolection of this

[Tray]

i remember throwing a hissy fit when i was two and had been kicked out by my parents, and went to live with my nan, dont really remember much, but when i was around 8 i got depressed, by 10-12 i was starting to think of ways to forget, started drinking, was prob nearly alcholic by 15, first overdose, 16, then 18 then 20. stupid little one's in between, use to starve meself as well from 14ish. been on anti d's on and off since i was 8ish, only got diagnosed in november 2007...

[InnerPeace]

I was always regarded as "difficult", and I would take a lot of time off school to be home. I changed schools at 12 and due to what happened there I began self-harming etc.

[feistymiss]

11, but then, knowing i felt the loss of identity a lot earlier before that age too but knowing that at this age i didnt fit in, that i wasnt loved, by my parents, however hard i tried, knowing that i was depressed and that no one was listening, ha, it never got any better .. we had moved abroad, emigrated, and i had no close family for 10 yrs, this didnt help

[kib0ne]

I think I was 10

[kib0ne]

I can remember being 7ish and sitting on the bottom of the pool (yes, underwater) crying, wanting to stay there forever.

I didn't know you could cry underwater, learn something new everyday!

[Saharah Blue]

Around 14, looks like that makes me pretty old compared to a lot of you.

sah

[tripper]

Officially diagnosed as BPD: 26

Began s/h'ing: 14

Depressive symptomology began: around 14

First psychotic episode: 16

First hospitalisation: 16

Age now: nearly 29

[messygirl]

your stories pain me, they really do. I was 11 when my problems became obvious and I took my first OD.

[stinkyboy]

I was curious as to how old you were when your symptoms started.

For me my depression started at about 12...14 was when I really knew something was wrong. I had this overwhelming sinking feeling in my stomach and just wanted to die. Since then I've become hyper-sensitive to anything/everything and stay on the depressed end of the spectrum. I struggle with the Bipolar II diagnosis because of this. I can't remember being the slightest bit hypo manic.

How about you?

My first memory as a child of around 4 years old was of me being horribly depressed and somehow very very bad. It's never changed in 53 years. I am also bipolar 2. Mixed episodes. Manic and depressed at the same time. My highs are pretty low and generally manifest itself by extreme irritability. Like right now. Sorry your going through this. steven

[colourfulcarly]

i was first involved wiv services at 9

things really took a hold at 16 when i moved to saftey

got dx at 17

first hosp admittion 17 also

[rebeccaborderline]

tried to kill myself aged 8, then shrink thinks from what Ive told her that was prob chronically depressed from aged 11-12 throught teenaged years. Saw my first shrink age 19 who said "well unforunately that happens to a lot of girls, now whats really wrong with you?" Refused to see him again. Always behaved oddly and excitably, got badly ill aged 32, diagnosed BPD aged 39, now 42.

rebeccaborderline

[InnerPeace]

Saw a psychiatrist at age 12 following an obvious cry for help but nothing was done...I was sent back to the torture chamber. He told my mother I had inherited all the bad genes in the family and was incapable of forming relationships...I would have to be married to my work. So wish I could tell him I was with my ex for 16 years and it was my decision to end the marriage.

[Paris]

Was always seen as a troubled child. saw psychiatrist at 22, told i had bipolar, then at 23 my family became involved and was told it was bpd. But started sh at 12 ish, noone picked up on why.......

they still ask me why? maybe they need to think about their part to play in it. Stopped sh'ing for 3 yrs from 24- 27 then my partner died and its went downhill from there. Still starting therpay next week so thats a good thing..................

[Ulrica]

Got diagnosed with BPD: 25

Got diagnosed with BP Type II, PTSD and GAD: 22

First admission to a ward: 22

First contact with MH services: 15

Age now: 26 in a few weeks

But I do remember being odd and always feeling different from when I was about four and my folks say I was exhibiting odd behaviors as early as one.

[sofaraway]

i can remember the first times that i self harmed was when I was 10-11,

my depression/low mood and eating problem started when i was 12-13

the first time that this wasn't completley hidden and I fell apart was when I was 18 when i left home for uni, at that time I first had MH service contact

at 21 i was diagnosed BPD

i'm 22 now

[lisa c]

hi teilover

Can't remember a time before the anxiety started, think I was born with it! x

[ramfan007]

I can remember being about 4 or 5 and running away from home becuase i was so unhappy. Ive had depression for as long as I can remember but it really took hold when I was about 13 . I fist started self harming and attempting suicide when I was 16 but only got diagnosed last year.

Cheers

Ram