Lance Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 I scroll though pages and pages of topics and hardly ever see a locked topic. But when I finally do, its my own! You know what, I don care. Whatever. That was my last topic on this forum and you couldn't even let it be. I didn't trigger anthing. I just said goodbye, not to the WORLD, to the FORUM! Where is the rule that says I cant leave the forum!? It's not a damn prison.And what's even more upsetting is that fact I said I would leave once that topic came to an end. Obviously some member of staff can't wait that long. Well congratulations me. I lasted not even a month here. I was fine with everbody. I was polite, thoughtful and tried my best to understand everybody here. But I have my first break down and BOOM! I get locked. You didn't even give a chance for the people I've met to say goodbye or wish me luck or SOMETHING. Whatever. I said I wish I never joined here, and this just proves why.Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kay Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Lance,It is in the terms of use:General rules:Goodbye posts will be closed as soon as posted. No member of the community should reply to these and as soon as a member of the staff team becomes aware of such a post it shall be closed.It isnt anything personal. We would love for you to stay and use this forum for your benefit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted January 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Well Kay, like I said elswhere, could you please tell me why it's wrong to let you guys know that I'll be leaving the FORUM (not LIFE) rather than completely disappearing and letting people worry and post about me in the "missing members" board? Don't you think it's a little silly blocking me the opportunity to leave in a dignified manor? Seriously, think about it. Would you have honestly prefaired if I had left out of the blue and left people hanging? It makes no sense AT ALL. Complete catch 22. You need to rethink that rule or at least explain it better.Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerPeace Posted January 4, 2008 Report Share Posted January 4, 2008 Well Kay, like I said elswhere, could you please tell me why it's wrong to let you guys know that I'll be leaving the FORUM (not LIFE) rather than completely disappearing and letting people worry and post about me in the "missing members" board? Don't you think it's a little silly blocking me the opportunity to leave in a dignified manor? Seriously, think about it. Would you have honestly prefaired if I had left out of the blue and left people hanging? It makes no sense AT ALL. Complete catch 22. You need to rethink that rule or at least explain it better.Peace, LanceI answered that in the other thread. There is nothing wrong with you posting to say goodbye, it is the replies that are disallowed. Maybe submit a ticket if you wish to discuss this further further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Just PM'd you both. Thanks.Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seafree Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Lance, i gotta say i agree with you here...i'm quite confuzzled as to why goodbye forum posts aren't allowed. You've got a good point re: missing members forum. Why can't people reply? What a strange rule! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Thanks Jess...Listen guys, I'm not feeling too good about this thread now... I'm about to type something up in the General forum. Have a look if you get a second, thanks.Sorry for over reacting people. Really not cool Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joshua Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 bpd=abandonment issuesgoodbye posts = perceived abandonmentThen members dont leave as their feelings which fluctuate (being bpd and all that) change and they want to stay, after distressing many people.Hope this helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faerielight Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 if it helps, my goodbye post got closedtoo and i felt the same as you.. but i came back!! hugs ivy x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warrior Princess Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Not saying this is the case here, but many good bye posts, especially those posted by BPDers, are to get attention. (Sorry don't shoot me now!) I know this from experience because I have posted "good bye" posts on other forums in the distant past and even though at the time I really felt that I meant it, I also wanted people to beg me to stay, try to change my mind, want me, need me, miss me! Can't help it... just how I subconsiously felt. I didn't really want to leave, I was just angry or upset or emotional. From experience I have noticed that good bye posts often are followed by a string of posts, either ones saying "Ok see ya" or ones saying "please stay" or others sayiung "it's your decision if you stay or go" all pointless because the post was suppose to be thier "last post ever" yet they come back and read all the replies and then reply to the replies. Most people do NOT leave after a good bye post because they want to see the reaction to their dramatic goodbye.Therefore if I ever post a goodbye post... be rest assured I will be gone the minute I click on "submit". Doubt I will ever do that though. I have learnt that if I'm upset and feel like leaving, it's good to take a break and look at it all from a distance. I can't let myself make rash decisions becuase I have BPD and think in black and white. I have to let things blow over before I can make a sensible decision in wise mind rather than emotional mind.Just my two cents worth.Pw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Yeah you both are right. I realised all that yesterday after talking with a few members. I wanted to edit my first post or even delete this whole thread as it was just pointless. But I had to leave it here to be made an example of That's still bothering me now quite a lot. If it's against the rules, can't we just delete this thread? I feel sick with shame. Pleeeease just get rid of it already Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerPeace Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 We all say and do things we regret, and we have misunderstandings etc all the time. It's a natural and acceptable part of ourselves...learning to accept those things in ourselves is part of our growth. Which would you prefer, having the challenge removed for you so that you don't need to overcome it and grow from the experience or find a way to overcome the challenge yourself and grow as a result? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 We all say and do things we regret, and we have misunderstandings etc all the time. It's a natural and acceptable part of ourselves...learning to accept those things in ourselves is part of our growth. Which would you prefer, having the challenge removed for you so that you don't need to overcome it and grow from the experience or find a way to overcome the challenge yourself and grow as a result?I just want the topic removed. I'm always up for a challenge, but this is simply a polite request, nothing bigger. No big psychological twist or anything. I just want it removed because it has been resolved, I've learned my lesson and now I don't want a post like this next to my name. There are people that read the first post and reply without reading the rest, thinking I still feel the same way as I did.If you want to look at it a different way, how about this. I'm feel anxious about this thread and I'm asking you to help me feel better by deleting it. Keeping it here is making me feel worse. Aren't you supposed to do the opposite?I even created an apology thread in the general forum and stated everyting there so people could learn. I've done everything I can to try and get this removed. Why are you making it so hard for me?Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Hi Lance, I just wanted to say that I have written many posts that I now look at it and wish could be deleted but IP has a point, its a growth experience. I feel sure that many of us have posts that we dont want next to our names- maybe its something you can learn from in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 *sigh* Always the same answer. Alright fine, just leave it. At least lock the topic so it can disappear into the database.Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerPeace Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Lance, I appreciate what you're saying but my point remains the same. There is another reason why I would not suggest that the thread be deleted, and that is can you imagine how many times requests would be made to have posts deleted? Can you imagine what that would do to the structure or the board and the effect it would have on members who have replied? It's much like the rules on goodbye posts and the time limits on deleting posts. We all take responsibility for our actions when we post on this forum.Would you also please be aware that the appropriate way to refer queries to staff is through submitting a ticket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lance Posted January 5, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 Look, it's fine. I understand. Really I do I'll no longer say anything in public about the rules. And yes, once again you're right about all the requests you would have. Uhhh.... I don't know why I'm saying the things I am. Digging myself further into a hole here.Well I guess the positive side of this topic remaining open is that hopefuly people can see that I do actually care about what I say and I'm not just out to make a pointless fuss or anoy anybody and I can apologize Thanks InnerPeace. I'll say no more Peace, Lance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InnerPeace Posted January 5, 2008 Report Share Posted January 5, 2008 That's ok Lance...and I'm sure folks know you care about what you say :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.