dolita Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 this is a letter i wrote to my ex, after he'd thrown a suitcase of my stuff out after i'd left it at his house. i defended this man for throwing me out of his house when i was having a breakdown (in spain with no money, nowhere to go and no-one to turn to). i defended him against people who said he shouldn't be going out with me when he already had a girlfriend. i defended him when he slept with my best friend. and i defended him when he stopped off in the town i lived in on the way to pick up his girlfriend where he took me to a hotel he'd booked for the two of them.then, friends, he threw out all my stuff (and it was pretty much ALL my stuff, important documents, letters from friends, all my clothes, 2 years worth of writing, my diaries...). he'd said he'd take care of the stuff. then he decided he didn't want to, or to deal with me, even though i'd been perfectly reasonable and non-borderliney - i'd emailed him about 5 times in three months, he'd emailed back, perfectly friendly. so he said not to contact him again. i won't. but i did just one last time, because every man has an achilles heel. and i'm sick of defending men who just stab me in the back time and time again, treat me like a whore and act mad because i'm not the pretty little bit of fluff they want me to be. his achilles heel was the fact he had an incredibly small penis. not a little bit small. like "the condom won't stay on" small. oh, it didn't bother me when i liked him. and i would never have mentioned it because i know he was insecure about it. but ya know, he just fucked with me once too often. my confidence was in tatters after him. so i exacted revenge - right where it hurts."oh thanks that was really nice of you to throw out my stuff. was the decision made before or after you read the diary entries about your miniscule dick? i'd imagine some time after. never mind though, i'm sure your lovely stable little girlfriend will be enjoying the utter lack of sensation during sex. it does somewhat disturb me that you go around banging so many women when you're actually TOTALLY unable to provide any sort of pleasure...but never mind, i suppose it boosts your matchingly tiny ego. no doubt you'll try and justify this in your mind as "aaaah aaaah, no it's cos you've got a massive fanny" or something to that effect. no, i'm afraid that both mouna and fran confirmed it. never mind though, you've still got your successful summer school managing career.i actually thought you were a nice person. that's why i held back from mentioning this. ever wondered why i wanted anal so much? DUH so i could actually feel something. remember that time you totally lost your erection cos you thought i was bored? yeah, must have been a momentary lapse of concentration on my part - it wasn't exactly the first time i was willing it all to be over.oh yeah and one last thing - the whole "oh yeah baby, just like that" thing? it's not a porn film. it's not sexy. i had to restrain my laughter."revenge. petty, yes, maybe. but it felt pretty bloody good. it stopped me feeling like a doormat. i don't care if it did hurt him or not, that wasn't the point. the point was to let myself know that i wasn't revering him any more and to let him know that he wasn't the stud he thought it was. i think it was the perfect insult. it had substance. he knows it's true. and there is nothing - NOTHING - he can say to me that will hurt like that. physically, i have no problems. mentally, i hate everything about myself anyway, so what can he say? nothing. and he can say nothing anyway cos i blocked his email address.i'm posting this in recovery to let you all know that, when the person truly deserves it, revenge is good recovery. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rain Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 Hey, sweetheart, I'm sorry about your situation. He sounds like a right asshole, and I would have done the same if not worse if someone would have done that to me. It's good that you have cut off contact now though, let's hope he stays out of your head and you can let go with time. I just cut the guy I wrote my Falling In Love post about out of my life last night - he didn't want to see me cause his ex would be visiting soon. Yeah, but sex was no problem before.... GOSH I hate men right now! Okay, not all of you Take care,Rain x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolita Posted January 13, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 i actually can't believe how much more positive it made me feel. i can't believe how nice i normally am to people who just walk all over me. i know it was petty, but i think it was well-judged. ya know, like, if it had just been like "you have a small dick, bye", it woulda been pretty pointless. but it cites evidence. hahahahahahaha, is what i thought as i was writing it.i don't hate men, i hate ones that take advantage, cos i tend to see past all the bad bits, and tell all my friends how great this guy is, how he's not a wanker even if he has got a girlfriend or whatever. but after that email, i don't think i'll be doing that again.well done on cutting that guy out of your life too. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rain Posted January 13, 2008 Report Share Posted January 13, 2008 The porn thing made me giggle That would be a huge turn off for me!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightvision Posted January 15, 2008 Report Share Posted January 15, 2008 That letter totally rocks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dolita Posted January 16, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 16, 2008 awww, thanks nightvision, i had fun writing it, and read it to myself frequently to make me feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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