New Relationship With Bpd Girl

[disciple3d]

Thanks for your help Remy, I feel like you really understand how I'm feeling. I've been trying to think positively about it since this morning I didn't want to get out of bed. I am also paranoid about her cheating on me with the many male friends she has and trying to get over that (I'm pretty sure she wouldn't cheat). I'll reply a bit more later but right now I have to cook something for her dinner since she'll be home for less than an hour before she has to go to work. Probably when she gets back she'll be in the same mood as before and she'll not be interested, but I think I feel in the mood to be able to handle it better now...

[disciple3d]

She broke up with me....I feel so awful.

I did something stupid a few weeks ago and she found out about it and was so angry. I got really paranoid about our relationship because she'd gone off me so much. And so I read the texts on her phone because she'd been getting lots. And I find a text she sent that says 'It's ok. Please be more discreet though!' ...with no number in the phone book, and no corresponding one sent to her. And so I text this person to ask who they are.

Anyway...she has found out what I did (I'd already told her I read her texts, but not this). And now she says she can't trust me and made me pack all my stuff. I know this probably doesn't make much sense...I'm struggling to write properly because I feel so confused. I feel ashamed. I tried to apologise but I feel awful. I think she just needs some time. But I don't know what to do.

Chris

[Remy]

Very sorry for you Chris.

Is looking through someone else's phone texts and using their phone something you normally do? If you'd got paranoid to that point & its abnormal behaviour for you.. IMO in some ways, as awful as it may be you may be better off away from her now anyway.

Has she done many things like this back to you?

I've seen this kind of distrust in perfectly 'normal' relationships actually.. but it's not something I can relate to, as I trusted her (and anyone else I go out with) fully! Although I do not trust my ex in that way now.

[gpone]

Man i am so glad i found this place.. these stories are almost the exact thing i have been dealing with this past week. i don't know what to do. i think that my main problem is that i can't stand to know she is in pain.. and right now i know she is hurting..regaurdless if she did it to her self or not

[disciple3d]

Hi Remy,

No...I really value privacy of the individual...I am hardly ever like that and I was having one bad day. Yes, she went through all the emails to the girl I was going out with last and told me about it afterwards. And my texts. But that was different 'because it was at the start of the relationship.'

The main thing is that I told her I had gone through her texts...she was annoyed, but not badly. I left out that I had texted the anonymous number to find out who it had belonged to.

She is making a really really big deal about it. I have apologised endlessly, and I'm just going to leave her alone and see what happens when she returns to a stable mood. At the moment she's extremely upset, I think in an over the top way. I was upset she went through my emails too, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't malicious and I good reason not to trust her, because she had been lying to my face over and over, even after I told her it wasn't acceptable.

So when I went over to give her back her keys last night. Guess who the guy at her work was comforting her? Ian, mr anonymous text. So, ok I'm paranoid, but I'm not naive.

Chris