Barebones Posted January 26, 2008 Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 the dreaded day has come that i go to AA. im not the best in group specialy strangers. what do i say i find it hard to put things into words from my brain. i know i dont need to say anything, but i know im going to feel useless and feel how is that going to help me. im worried about what mood im going to be in. i guess i have to take my own advise and take it a step at a time and see what happens. god why do i push myself into these things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharcoalKiss Posted January 26, 2008 Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 the dreaded day has come that i go to AA. im not the best in group specialy strangers. what do i say i find it hard to put things into words from my brain. i know i dont need to say anything, but i know im going to feel useless and feel how is that going to help me. im worried about what mood im going to be in. i guess i have to take my own advise and take it a step at a time and see what happens. god why do i push myself into these things.Because you recognise that 'these' are things that can help you...?I understand your feelings of dread... although i've never been to AA i'm no good in a group either... i get lost and either can't think of anything to say or think that what i can think of is stupid... you shouldn't feel useless for not being able to say anything at AA.... Like you said, you don't NEED to say anything... and since it's the first meeting (?) it is a good opportunity to 'get the lay of the land' listen to what other people are talking about... learn... sympathise... etc.... even a nod of understanding when someone talks about how they feel is an invaluable communicative tool as it lets that person know that you're listening and you're connecting with them... use this meeting as a foundation for building a sense of what AA is all about and who the people at the meeting are so that next time... when you won't be quite as anxious... you may be able to say something about yourself.... I'm rambling. Sorry. My point is.... you're right, you don't have to say anything and should take it a step at a time... i just have a long winded way of sayin it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebeccaborderline Posted January 26, 2008 Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 Hi BB, I found the time before and after the group just as important as the actual meet itself; the format of AA is not question and answer so if you want to know something, outside the set time is the best way. If you can get there a few mins early, there should be someone who'll welcome you, perhaps introduce you to a couple of regulars; and ask them for a starter pack for when you leave. Dont worry if youre completely tongue-tied and rather overwhelmed, I think they kind of expect that; everyone there had a first time too and knows what a big step it is.Good luck, let us know how you get onrebeccaborderline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted January 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 thanks both for your responses, i guess im feeling emotoinal today, guess things are getting on top of me.fridays and weekends are bad time for me, i normaly get drunk so im out of it. i did havea drink last night which im not happy with. this week has tired me out and im finding it hard to staberlise my self today. god i just need to geta grip on things.ill let you all know how i got on at meeting.hope both of you are oktake care and thanks again for the support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xxmattyxx Posted January 26, 2008 Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 I go to AA Barebones.At any AA meeting you do NOT have to say anything, in fact, its probably best if you just listen and has already been suggested if you have any questions ask someone who is kindly towards you at the meeting.AA does work, believe me, I have been sober 11 years through regular attendance at meetings, if I hadnt have started going my drinking would undoubtedly have worsened (it was bad enough as it was anyway); and god only knows where Id be if that had happened. Why not give it a try, go for 3 months, and if its not for you you dont have to continue, you can leave and have all your misery back. Feeling useless isnt unusual for any member of AA, I havent met any person who attends their first AA meeting feeling that they/their life is just grand and dandy, if you did you wouldnt need to go.p.s. theres generally no dirty rain-coat brigade either Matt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted January 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 thanks for that matty, its good to know and it helps that others have been or going, so im not alone. i will give it my best shot. only problem in my past is that i fail at things, but this year im trying not to let that happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily-Bee Posted January 26, 2008 Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 Good luck!! You have come so far already, I know you can do this!!!Lilly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted January 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 my naxeity has gotten worse im now having a beer to calm me. what a start! i feel so useless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharcoalKiss Posted January 26, 2008 Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 my naxeity has gotten worse im now having a beer to calm me. what a start! i feel so uselessUh... well try not to get drunk before the AA meeting... and eat some chewing gum or mints to cover the smell of beer on your breath...You're not useless and therefore shouldn't feel like you are!!! (I know, easy to say when you're not the one feeling it.... but advice isn't exactly my strong point so am trying... and you really aren't useless)If drinking is what you've used thus far to calm your anxiety its only natural that its what you turn to now... i can imagine that its similar with others who attend AA... they feel anxious about their first meeting and turn to drinking to calm that.... i think the point of AA is to break that cycle and in order to break the cycl you first have to go to the first meeting... and only then can the steps towards not drinking begin... I hope the meeting goes well, and i'm sure it will... Thinking of you....Take care... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wordsmithy Posted January 26, 2008 Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 how'd it go, bonesy? :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted January 26, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 26, 2008 well i was so nervous at first, but when got there some was standing outside having a fag and they welcomed me straight off. found out there was only going to be only 5 of us and that was such a relief. so all in all it went great and i feel i can do this. i have two numbers i can phone and also if need lift ill get one to get there or back and it was great i couldnt beleive it. im going back tomorrow night which will be bigger and then thorugh week to help me. so im glad i went i even told my story so they was pleased at that for a first time comer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamer Posted January 27, 2008 Report Share Posted January 27, 2008 :bigarmhug[1]: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nina of the Light Posted January 27, 2008 Report Share Posted January 27, 2008 BB:Just wanted to drop a quick line and say congrats on taking such a big step and I'm so glad it went well for you. I wish you well.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiddi Posted January 27, 2008 Report Share Posted January 27, 2008 Great news!Well done you!It must have taken some balls just to get there, but to talk as well!!I'm so glad it all went well.They sound very supportive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebeccaborderline Posted January 27, 2008 Report Share Posted January 27, 2008 thats great BB, i hope you continue to get a lot out of itrebeccaborderline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kib0ne Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 well i was so nervous at first, but when got there some was standing outside having a fag and they welcomed me straight off. found out there was only going to be only 5 of us and that was such a relief. so all in all it went great and i feel i can do this. i have two numbers i can phone and also if need lift ill get one to get there or back and it was great i couldnt beleive it. im going back tomorrow night which will be bigger and then thorugh week to help me. so im glad i went i even told my story so they was pleased at that for a first time comer.Well done BB! I also meant to ask if you'd gotten around to getting some vitamins etc? x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barebones Posted January 28, 2008 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 thanks kib, i also went last night to a bigger meeting which there was 14 of us, i listened to everyone ones stories and i babbled a few things myself which was becasue i was nervous. but again it was good and i was welcomed heaps. im going again tonight im going to go to 4 meeting a week but it could be 5 depending how i am on a fri.i havent gotten any vitamins yet, im bit skint just now due to hsuband starting new job and we are living on my money just now. so maybe end of feb i will get some. im also not eating very much still i think ive had around 6 small meals in past 3 or so weeks. just cant seem to eat. anyway enough about that.thanks again kib, hope your ok yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paris Posted January 28, 2008 Report Share Posted January 28, 2008 Hey BB well done you, its such a big step going to AA and you went and shared!! You are doing great! i thought of good vitamins that i take when I binge apart from other normal ones, i take milkthistle when im coming off a binge!! anyway speak soon hunlou x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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